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Short story:
My 5year LDR boyfriend once broke off all contact after a stressful time. He contacted me 3 months later, he didt want to split, just time for himself and we talked about it and he promised to me he'd never do that again.
Its now been 2 years, I healed from my broken heart after a while and we even met and were very happy until he got a new job and got all stressed again. This time he told me its not gonna be like last time (he'll write in the chat), but he needs time off. The relationship would too much of a responsibility he cant handle so he wanted me to respect his wish to stay best friends for now. He also told me we can get back together later.
I did not hear from him for 3 weeks (he blocked me prob. I figured a relationship should be strong in even these times and i am really not ok with just being friends. I am ok with him spending time on his own, even for some months.
I just wonder what I should do? Send him a christmas letter or just with a request to call me so we can talk. Maybe a video message?
He's not much of a talker, but he is worse at replying to letters, even in a text.
What good would agreeing on friendship because its tough now be for our future relationship?
Long story:
I am in a long distance relationship for almost 5 years.
We had a very troublesome time 2 years ago, where he did a lot of overtime working at his job and soon spent less time with me. I became panicky and ultimately after some months, it led him to tell me he wants this to stop and I should not try to contact him.
After 3 months of grieving, he just called with a "hey" and we went through 2 calls explaining how we felt. He said it wasn't his intention to break up, he just needed space and he apologized that he hurt me so much but he thought it was the only way.
It took a while until I trusted him again. I always was afraid he would do the same thing again even tho he can just talk to me and ask for less communication if hes busy again.
We meet up a few months ago for a week and he was all over me, being a real gentleman. And promised me he'd never go away like this again. (He quit his bloodsucking job)
Now he has a job for about 3 months again, he started overworking immediately and I told him I was concerned. But was still nice. Tried to call me, I also hold back a bit with the panicking.
Usually I got some texts every other day and a short call once a week, or every 2 weeks. I got panick attack in my sleep instead (But I have these since i am a child, in stress situations)
One of his free days he suddenly started to talk about how he felt. He said he was very stressed and he can't handle this. I would stop him from working because he was worrying so much about me. He told me calmly he promised it will not be the same as last time, but he needs a break and he wants us to be just friends for now and he would chat with me sometimes.
My brain blanked I just agreed, tho I told him I think he is projecting a big junk of the work-stress onto me and that I never blamed him for the panick attacks, I just have those. He almost cried when he responded "I am so stressed, I don't know what to do"
He also told me we can be together later again.
Now almost 3 weeks passed. No words till now. I think he blocked me. Since its christmas I understand he is busy. But I also feel absolutely horrible without him. Not the "no contact" thing, mainly the Friendzoning. I still believe we can take a break without stopping this relationship, in fact it would be more healthy. I think he forgot I told him that before.
I planned to respect his wish and give him space, but I probably send some christmas gifts to his family and him.
I thought about a short letter explaining I want us back together and we can still do the Pause, though I'd appreciate a message maybe once or twice a month to know how hes doing.
I really don't know. I thought a long time about this and I think this relationship is worth working on. It is just the busy-stressy-work-problem that is always in the way.
What do you think? Maybe I ask for a call (via letter) or send him a video-message instead of a handwritten letter he might not answer.
My 5year LDR boyfriend once broke off all contact after a stressful time. He contacted me 3 months later, he didt want to split, just time for himself and we talked about it and he promised to me he'd never do that again.
Its now been 2 years, I healed from my broken heart after a while and we even met and were very happy until he got a new job and got all stressed again. This time he told me its not gonna be like last time (he'll write in the chat), but he needs time off. The relationship would too much of a responsibility he cant handle so he wanted me to respect his wish to stay best friends for now. He also told me we can get back together later.
I did not hear from him for 3 weeks (he blocked me prob. I figured a relationship should be strong in even these times and i am really not ok with just being friends. I am ok with him spending time on his own, even for some months.
I just wonder what I should do? Send him a christmas letter or just with a request to call me so we can talk. Maybe a video message?
He's not much of a talker, but he is worse at replying to letters, even in a text.
What good would agreeing on friendship because its tough now be for our future relationship?
Long story:
I am in a long distance relationship for almost 5 years.
We had a very troublesome time 2 years ago, where he did a lot of overtime working at his job and soon spent less time with me. I became panicky and ultimately after some months, it led him to tell me he wants this to stop and I should not try to contact him.
After 3 months of grieving, he just called with a "hey" and we went through 2 calls explaining how we felt. He said it wasn't his intention to break up, he just needed space and he apologized that he hurt me so much but he thought it was the only way.
It took a while until I trusted him again. I always was afraid he would do the same thing again even tho he can just talk to me and ask for less communication if hes busy again.
We meet up a few months ago for a week and he was all over me, being a real gentleman. And promised me he'd never go away like this again. (He quit his bloodsucking job)
Now he has a job for about 3 months again, he started overworking immediately and I told him I was concerned. But was still nice. Tried to call me, I also hold back a bit with the panicking.
Usually I got some texts every other day and a short call once a week, or every 2 weeks. I got panick attack in my sleep instead (But I have these since i am a child, in stress situations)
One of his free days he suddenly started to talk about how he felt. He said he was very stressed and he can't handle this. I would stop him from working because he was worrying so much about me. He told me calmly he promised it will not be the same as last time, but he needs a break and he wants us to be just friends for now and he would chat with me sometimes.
My brain blanked I just agreed, tho I told him I think he is projecting a big junk of the work-stress onto me and that I never blamed him for the panick attacks, I just have those. He almost cried when he responded "I am so stressed, I don't know what to do"
He also told me we can be together later again.
Now almost 3 weeks passed. No words till now. I think he blocked me. Since its christmas I understand he is busy. But I also feel absolutely horrible without him. Not the "no contact" thing, mainly the Friendzoning. I still believe we can take a break without stopping this relationship, in fact it would be more healthy. I think he forgot I told him that before.
I planned to respect his wish and give him space, but I probably send some christmas gifts to his family and him.
I thought about a short letter explaining I want us back together and we can still do the Pause, though I'd appreciate a message maybe once or twice a month to know how hes doing.
I really don't know. I thought a long time about this and I think this relationship is worth working on. It is just the busy-stressy-work-problem that is always in the way.
What do you think? Maybe I ask for a call (via letter) or send him a video-message instead of a handwritten letter he might not answer.
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