Hello, long time lurker here. I could really use some advice and kind words!
Me and the ex gf broke up 6 months ago. We kind of stayed in touch, saw each other every month to see where we were in life. Never kissed, never had sex after the break up. We sometimes slept in the same bed, but 100% platonically.
I very casually started seeing a woman 4 months ago (no strings attached at all). Let’s call her X. I liked her, but a month or so ago she made it very clear she was not in love with me and she will never get to that point. So we decided to continue as friends. X knew about me seeing the ex sometimes. We were that casual.
A week after that, X and I end up in bed together after a night of drinking. I figured it was just a friends with benefits thing, as she was so clear about not wanting me in a love/sexual way! But the days after she seemed a little bit interested in me and I noticed her attitude started shifting. But I wasn't sure. And I was kind of unsure about her intentions. During that time I met up for a drink with the ex and spent the night, because I felt alone I guess. Again, nothing happened. Just sleeping. No kissing etc. I did not tell X, since I felt like had no obligation to do so. She was clear about not being in love with me, and we did not have an agreement of any sort.
The 4 weeks after that, X and I saw a lot more of each other and she admitted to have fallen in love with me. I started feeling the same and we made it exclusive.
But now, I feel sooo guilty about the platonic sleepover with the ex, weeks before exclusivity with X. I’m freaking out and feel like a cheater?? It’s all I can think about.
This is mainly because X said her feelings for me started to change and grow after we had the drunk sex again. She also told me she would be very very disappointed if she found out if I had been kissing other people by that point. I did not kiss anyone, I just had that platonic sleepover with the ex. And I still feel like at that point in time, it was 100% none of her business. But I feel like cr*p, because I think she would call it quits if she knew. Do you guys have any advice? Thanks so much.
I have stopped seeing the ex btw after that sleepover, as it didn’t feel right any more.
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