I want kids but my girlfriend doesn't want them... what should I do?

[amaninlove43]

I’ve been dating my girlfriend for over 8 months now and I’ve been thinking of popping the question.


However, I feel like I have to hold back for a bit… when I started talking with her about


having a family, she show disinterest in having kids. We were having fun and talking about


having 3 kids but then she followed it with “having kids are troublesome,


I honestly don’t want to have any…”


I was taken aback, I had asked her more about it but she just shrugged it off saying that


she just doesn’t want them. I made it clear with her that I want to have kids.


So now I am wondering if we are still on the same page as when we started…


we are both dating with intentions of marriage, but with the current discussion it’s almost


like it might not work out.


When I first met her through a singles tour, she was really charming (still is) and

she made it clear that she wants to find that one person to spend the rest of her life with.


But because we never talked about having kids whatsoever, now that it happened,


I am surprised. What should I do? I love her and I want to spend the rest of my life with her


but I want to have a family… I really need help, please!

[njoe755]

It is soo damn obvious that she is having some issues.. something is creating problems.. the only thing left to do is a real good conversation with some clear conclusions as it is the only possible way to work it out. I recently had some issues with my girl, we didnt talk for weeks, but this was not it. you can not jump to a conclusion..

have a nice deep conversation. clear the thoughts of both the parties,, listen to her and make her listen to you. and then come up with a mutual understanding. This is the only way i can see which can make work things out.

[Bradwin]

It's obvious you both aren't on the same page. So, it's best to quit the relationship and get another girlfriend.

[njoe755]

It's obvious you both aren't on the same page. So, it's best to quit the relationship and get another girlfriend.

Nooo its not the way to deal with the things.. i apologize to question on your view but how is it best
to run away from the problems instead of facing them?

[Zinok]

I'd break up.
In fact, I have broken up with partners I was deeply in love with because they never wanted kids. After having lots of intense conversations about whether that would ever change, or if they for sure never wanted them, it became clear that we wanted different things from the relationship, and that regardless of our love it had to end.
Because at the end of the day I was never going to compromise on my own desire to be a mother, but I wasn't going to trick them, or try to coerce them into having kids either. I want a co-parent who is equally as engaged and excited about our offspring.

Sorry to hear you're experiencing this. I know it's a horrible feeling, and a very tough call to make, but ultimately I think you know what you have to do.