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So, the other weekend my friends and I went on a vacation to Montreal. I currently live in Canada and the legal drinking age is between 18-19. Being from a province which had a legal age of 19, as I am 18 and most of my friends in the group travelling, we were excited to go pub-crawling and to clubs. During the three nights we spent in Montreal we went out, and I found myself being hit on by way older men. Being a bit of a flirt when under the influence of alcohol, I played along with the men. The first night in Montreal I took a liking to a man I met at a bar my friends and I went to, we immediately hit it off and exchanged numbers.At the time with, all the alcohol I had ingested and his youthful looking face I thought he was 24 the oldest. I find out the next day when we meet to hang out he is 27. We talk for a bit, and it immediately becomes personal. We talk about family, values, ambitions, and a lot about his past (because I'm only 18, how much of a past do I have really?). This conversation becomes into a therapy session, and him being very observant begins to psychoanalyze me. Me thinking this will be a quick light hangout, has quickly misunderstood. He tells me I am a lot like him in his past, and I somehow end up feeling more vulnerable than I have anticipated. I have no idea why but, ever since the night I had met him at the bar I have had intense feelings for him and our little hang out seemed to intensify those feelings more. I began to feel jealousy, longing, and even content with this man, all feelings I didn't plan on feeling on my three day trip to Montreal. Not liking any of these emotions, I leave and tell him I have to go back to my friends. I ghost him, which I regret now, but text him a couple days later with a lousy excuse on why. I just naturally like to run away from situations which make me feel uncomfortable, I am learning not to do this anymore but its in my nature. In another act of "defiance" the last night in Montreal, instead of hanging out with him which we both intended to do. I decided to spend my time with another man less daunting, and regret this now looking back. I don't expect a reply from him, but I'm slowly going crazy about my own stupidity. My insecurities are also flaring up such as: I am too young for him,I am not as alluring as my friend he also took a liking to, what if he's just a creep thinking he can get it easy with me cause I'm younger? What is wrong with me? How do I fix this? is this even fixable? am I just a Montreal fling? So many questions, yet I don't know what to do. What the next step should be, or even if I should do something to see if I actually like this man. Any help would be great! Thank you!
P.S. I know my grammar and punctuation went to shit halfway through, I'm sorry.
P.S. I know my grammar and punctuation went to shit halfway through, I'm sorry.
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