Ex girlfriend

[Twilightsteve]

I've been tinged with sadness after visiting my ex recently who is in a hospital for mental health issues that she's had for years.
I met her 27 years ago and we dated for 3 months. She ended it in a gracious enough way.
22 years later I learned from her brother that she developed the illness.
I did visit her 5 years ago in a care home and became rather inconsolable on the way home. Did it become apparent that I still loved her after all these years?
She had been living with her boyfriend who was also present with me at the hospital, has similar but less severe problems as her but she became intolerable and had to be readmitted to hospital.
I would like to visit her periodically, I know there is no future for us but at least I feel I care about her and hope she recognises that.

[Nicolas]

You feelings for her were reawaken when you saw her. Obviously, you loved her when you were in a relationship with her, so those feelings are still there.

I will suggest you don't visit her at the hospital again if you don't want her anymore in your life, doing otherwise will make your feelings for her grow more and more.

[Twilightsteve]

I agree with your first words. It was an unrequited courtship with only me showing love towards her. She was my first girlfriend whereas she had many boyfriends before so I was on trial. It was barely a relationship and we had some good days out.
I don't agree with not seeing her again in hospital, it would not be that often anyway. I'm not on a slippery slope into loving her again, I'm not entirely sure with her condition if she remembers me.

[Nora]

It is indeed very important for all you love buds to get over your past relationship/s before engaging yourself else where. It is imperative for you to understand this as it would have an impact on your future relationships as well and the impact can be truly dramatic.

So how would be find out what you feel? Well, ask yourself these questions and the answers would tell you what you feel...

Do you think about your ex?

If you still think about your ex and have not been able to erase those memories from your mind then you surely love him/her till now. Common sense speaks that if you are actually over with your past affair, you wouldn't be bothered to think about your ex, but if you do then you still have hopes.

Do you feel an intense desire to see your ex?

If you still love your ex you would want to see him/her and even talk to your ex quite often. When your desire reaches its zenith you would probably go to a public booth and listen to your ex's voice. Have you done this or do you feel this ay? If yes, then you know that you are still in love with your ex.

Does the very thought of your ex being with someone else make you jealous?

Ask yourself if you would feel back to see your ex with someone else? Would you be bothered about it? If you do then you have actually not moved on in life; you still have some strings attached to your ex which needs to be addressed first. You still love your ex.