Who do I choose or do I choose to be alone

[Solo_hero]

Hello everyone I hope putting this out there helps me find the advice of guidance I need. I'll try and make this short, So about a year ago i broke things off with my ex of 2 years things between us weren't always great we bumped heads bcuz she wouldn't open up to me and there wasn't great communication from her end. We talked about it and I told her how I felt and she said she would try and work on it but things never got any better. But she has a big heart she's a little stubborn and doesn't really much motivation and shuts down if I try and motivate her.

So right after we split I met someone else not really thinking it would go anywhere it started to. And when I started get feelings for this new girl I realized I still had feelings for my ex. I was struggling internally with what I should do the logical choice was to forget my ex and be with this new girl who my friends and family loved. Shes smart, fun, has things in order in her life but when I'm with her sometimes I dont feel attracted to her and when we're being intimate it's hard sometimes bcuz she wants to and I dont. And that's scary what if this doesn't get better what if it gets worse idk what to do. So basically if stay with this new my life could be great we get along well have fun and she motivates me to do better and is always emotionally and in every other way. But if I get back with my ex things would be good for a while then fall back into the way they were and I dont want to be the only one trying to make it work and struggling in life. Or third is to just be alone and give myself time for me.

[Anthony]

You still have feelings for your ex because you didn't give yourself time to heal after the breakup, rather you started dating immediately after the breakup. It's best to take sometime off after the breakup to heal, you should stay single for at least 6 months before dating again. This will help you get rid of any left over feelings you have for your ex.

Anyways, since you are already in a relationship, you could decide to travel to a different states to get your feelings right before coming back.

[Victoria]

But if I get back with my ex things would be good for a while then fall back into the way they were and I dont want to be the only one trying to make it work and struggling in life.

This is exactly what will happen if you decide to go back to your ex. It's obvious you both aren't compatible, so don't ever think of going back to her.

You are still having feelings for her because that's what your mind tells you. Feelings is a product of the mind, so if you tell yourself you don't want her those feelings will automatically disappear. Also, you aren't feeling attracted to this new girl because you haven't opened your mind to be attracted to her. So, open your mind to love and cherish your new girlfriend.

[Solo_hero]

Thank you for the advice being alone is probably the best thing to do. And also you're right Victoria about not allowing myself to opening myself up to be attracted to her. But I think all of this is ruined anyways this past weekend I went to a baby shower for my best friend and one of my friends fiance is still friends with my ex. To be honest if they wanna be friends that's fine that's none of my business but today I got a call from my ex and basically my friends fiance told her that I brought my new gf to the party and just telling her what I'm doing. And now all this drama has started with her and I just feel so betrayed and hurt by my friend that he would allow her to tell her that stuff because that's not her place or her business to be telling anyone else eapecially my ex what I'm doing with my life. Idk what to do now

[Zinok]

Sounds like neither girl is what you`re after.
You should take time for yourself. Remove yourself from all that drama, it`s not worth it. You need time to yourself to heal and get over your ex before you can give yourself to another girl. And you need to stop stringing that other girl along, because you know in your heart she isn`t the one, you`ll only end up hurting both of you if you don`t break things off early.