I want to leave my husband

[etna_1]

Hi. I am super desperate to talk to someone. I feel like I am drowning in a sea, I feel so trapped. I have been with my husband for the last 10 years. We have a kid together. I have been providing for the family for the last 7 years, due to the fact that he just does not want to work. He does not want to search for a proper job, he just wants to go to do some football coaching to kids, where he earns a few hundred pounds a month which he spends on fuel. He basically does not want to work. Neither he wants to take on some of hte household matters, things like invoices, insurances, etc. I do everything! I ask him to do things, but he is just not bothered. Months pass by, and he does not touch any paper work. I have to remind him every single day, but even though he just does not do it. I have been talking to him for so many years now. I feel like I have a huge financial burden on me, and I do not understand why I have to put up with it. I used to love him. But now I have realized that I have stopped loving him. I think that is why I feel like I cannot put up with it. really want to leave him and feel relieved. But we live abroad, and I am scared that if I say I want divorce, he would go to his country (Greece) and our little kid will have to travel between two countries. I love my kid so much, I would do anything for him, anything. I want him to be happy, and have a full happy life where he sees his mother and father. But, knowing my husband, who is extremely lazy, he would just go to his mom's house, I am sure of it. I really need to talk to someone. Thanks a lot for reading,

[ticaaa]

ok im not very experienced but you have 2 choices her
1. LEAVE him , you dont feel anything for him anymore and from what your saying he doesnt care about you at all . Does he care about the kid at least?
2. Stay with him for the sake of the kid but that would mean to live with someone that not only do you not love anymore but start to hate too
it all depends how much of your happiness are you willing to sacrifice and you need to think if its worth it
its a hard decision indeed

[Roy]

It appears you are still with him because of you kid. You have done the right thing, most couple divorce without considering their kids. The fact is that, if you divorce him and get married to another man, the man you are going to get married to won't take care of your kid but you will still be the one to take care of your kid's financial need.

So, there is no need to divorce him just because he's lazy and can't pay the bills. I know you aren't happy in the marriage anymore, but you must learn to cope with his present predicament. All relationships have it's own problem, and what you are experiencing with your husband is the problem you have in your marriage. Remember, no marriage is perfect.

[Becky]

Each couple enduring a divorce finds at the end of this hurtful process that the future they planned and anticipated is gone. What they expected, what they dreamed will never be. This picture of fractured lives shatters a future of hope.

Healing a fractured bone requires a physical process endured over a defined period. The result usually provides a healed bone stronger than the original. This goal is also within reach of all those emotionally fractured. You can be stronger emotionally in the future, than in the past if you follow a healing process over a defined period.

When the weight of despair falls heavy on our emotions, the initial tendency is to sit around thinking about the past. Maybe to remember the good things gone bad then finally focus on how much a loser we really are to let these events occur. Allowing this state of mind promotes despair, erodes the courage to repair, and encourages self-pity.

As difficult as these next steps may be they will help you break the sadness shroud. Also, realize the first steps may be physical but that activity helps provide the strength for emotional recovery. Emotions can weaken or strengthen us. Recall a day that is so wonderful emotionally, so soul stirring, so mind elating the effect on you physically is without description. You can sing, dance all night, and stay awake around the clock without being tired.

The opposite effect is also true emotions can drag you down physically so the tired feeling pulls you further down the well of despair. Physical activity can provide a mental and emotional boost that most do not anticipate until they first experience the rush.

As we begin to repair our hurting heart, we must start with a focus away from our emotional state. We must provide some break, some act that takes our focus to a new now.

Step One: Get up and go outside. Look around at the sky, trees, grass, buildings, cars, people, dogs, cats, and birds, anything that you can see. Feel the sun, feel the rain, feel the wind on your face, feel any sense your body can touch. While enjoying this process walk somewhere, anywhere, let your mind absorb this environment.

Listen to the sounds around you and let them combine with your visual stimulus. Focus on what brings you the most pleasure and comfort. Then relax, just relax and enjoy the moment. You may lapse into the sad state again. If so, get up and walk anywhere.

Start a physical reaction to sad moments by immediate physical response to that onset, get up, and move. Soon this act becomes automatic; soon this act will not be required as periods of sad thoughts diminish.

Step Two: Find an actual physical outlet for your emotional energy. What activity is up to you? For some a team activity might work, for others individual activities such as running, weight training, bike riding, swimming anything that pushes you physically to your limits will work.

Focus on improving on any endeavor you chose. Make this activity a central part of your day and you will anticipate the discipline, dedication, and accomplishment of the effort.

As these activities progress, you will find the sad periods diminish until they are gone. There will be a time a memory will surface but you will examine it, put it aside, and move on with your life. It no longer has the draining emotional drag of the past.

Step Three: Physical activity does not repair the damaged heart by itself. You must mend this part of your emotion with awareness and understanding. What you feel is something that is not uncommon. Recall friends or family members who also suffered this type loss and how over time they appeared to be better. Once you realize that the failure is not a fault of any one but all involved it is easier to accept.

Once you realize that a failure does not project the future but documents the past it is easier to see a future of your choosing awaits. Your challenge is to reach out to touch it, feel it, absorb it, and live it. Put the dedication you developed in your physical activity into the emotional growth you want and it will occur. There is no magic; however, there is hope and happiness waiting when you expend the effort to find it.

Our Heart Breaks when we hear our partner, friend, lover say that our relationship is over. The sting, hurt of this time must be handled by you. However this event does not have to handled alone. Friends will help, family as well but you are going to need a special kind of guide. We can help you with the feelings, the emotions, the feeling of sadness and loss of self respect.