How do I keep from sabotaging my relationship?

[lalaland2018]

I've been with my BF for over a year and we have both discussed that we see each other in our respective futures. But this might be compromised if I don't figure my stuff out.

For the past 6 months, I've been jobless and have been applying and interviewing for many jobs. Clearly it hasn't been successful since I am still unemployed. Because of this, I have been hanging around my boyfriend literally every single day of the week.

Since then, it has started to annoy my boyfriend that since I am over his house all.the.time, he barely has time to see his best friend anymore

We used to literally never argue, but for the past month or so, we've had at least one or two arguments every couple of weeks or so. And I don't think it's a coincidence that we started arguing more when I didn't have a job. When we first got together, I had a job and we pretty much just never argued about anything.

And I know that they are all my fault. I can sometimes not be a mature person, I'll just blurt the first thing that comes to my mind as opposed to just waiting, taking a breath, and then think about wanting to say before I've said it. This has happened many times where it really is starting to annoy my boyfriend.

I also am pretty one-dimensional where I don't have much to contribute to conversations, I don't say much of anything that's relevant and will tend to kind of just stay quiet when I'm with my boyfriend's friends. I typically like to tell the same joke or stories over and over again until my boyfriend calls me out for it.

Then Saturday happened, after we went to the gym together, and I was talking about some job I applied to but some of the reviews I saw of the company online weren't good and BF just blew up. BF told me that he is so tired of hearing all my excuses about different companies and why if they are not perfect, I shouldn't apply there.

I might have reacted not-so maturely by giving him a dirty look and then BF went on and said how I'm acting really immature lately and I need to cut it out because it's getting really annoying. He said that he's tired of having one-dimensional conversations with me where he feels like we can't really talk about anything deep because most of what I talk about with him is stuff I find on reddit.

BF also said to me that as this relationship is getting more serious, I should grow with it. But I've become pretty stagnant.

I could just tell that if I don't get my shit together (and don't get me wrong, I want to change), then this relationship isn't gonna last much longer. I know he still wants to be with me and work it out, and I also know that the ball is in my court (he literally said 'I clearly want to work this out, but the ball is in your court for all of this to change')

I am going to start seeing a therapist this week that helps with personal growth and personal problems. But is there anything else I can do to help myself? I obviously don't want my relationship to end.

We've also decided to not see each other for a few days, so we can take some much needed time apart. Though I did see him at the gym yesterday and didn't say hi. He then saw me and goes, 'hey how long have you been here for?' and I said '10 minutes' and he goes 'you're allowed to say hi to me' and then I just kissed him on the cheek and didn't see or talk to him again.

I just couldn't get myself to say hi or go up to him because looking at him made me too sad and only made me think about our relationship ending, so I just wanted to cry... No idea why I'm being so emotional about this

[Bradwin]

You already know what to do, just give him the space he needs. Giving him space will make him miss you and realize your worth.

[Nora]

If things are not well between yourself and your partner then you need to take swift corrective action if you do not want to walk down the path of separation.

Use these moves on how to save a relationship so as to prevent permanent damage as well as to end up with a strengthened relationship.

Take a step back and look at the complete picture
Both of you might have started bickering a lot and might have lost that closeness that you always had. However, instead of getting caught in this circle of confrontation, stop arguing and take a step back.

Allow your partner to win a few rounds as you try to get to the real reason behind the bickering. This move will enable you to take corrective action to stop the relationship from disintegrating.

Change for the better
It usually takes two hands to clap and you should also introspect to find out if your actions are causing any hurt to your partner and your relationship.

You should indicate to your partner about your findings and promise to mend your ways immediately, thus saving your relationship from further damage.

Give your partner some space
Instead of breathing down your partner's neck in a desperate bid to stop your relationship from disintegrating, give your partner some space.

This will help calm down matters and also allow your partner to listen to your suggestions with an open mind.

Show your partner why he/she fell in love with you
You will need to rekindle those lost feelings of desire from within your partner. You should try to get attired in that same style of clothes, or sport that same hairstyle or try to turn fit again so as to turn back into the person that your partner fell in love with.

Even if your partner laughs at your efforts, at least he/she will admire the pain that you have taken to make him/her happy.

Trust your love to guide you through
You can also sit down with your partner to discuss issues that have been troubling both of you lately. Trust the love that you have for each other to act as a strong foundation as you steer back towards solid ground.

Set your eyes on the future
You should sit down and imagine yourself in each others arms in the future. This will enable you to circumvent present problems that might now look small as compared to a few days ago.

Bring in the professionals
You will certainly need to bring in the professionals if both of you seem to be locked in a battle for supremacy.

A few sessions with a competent marriage counselor will help both of you to realize the error of your ways and quickly get back on the track to permanent reconciliation.

These moves will prevent your relationship from ending up in a bitter separation that would be even more difficult to reconcile.

Use them and prevent the situation from going out of hand and your partner from going out of your life.