Concessions - stop clubbing

[jameseekhelp]

Would you stop clubbing if it made very uncomfortable your partner with whom you’re planning to spend the rest of your life?


PS. The partner (me) suggests going together.

[Lost 73]

I would stop going not everyone likes clubbing time to grow up

[TeeDee]

If I enjoyed going clubbing I would not stop because some guy I was dating asked me to. I'd encourage him to come with me. But if it wasn't his thing, I'd hope he trusted me enough to allow me to have fun my way. Understand I mean going to the club, having a few drinks & dancing with my GFs Going to the club to flirt with other guys or grind on them is a problem. That type of person is not ready for a committed relationship.

If my guy didn't trust me or wanted to control me by trying to limit how I spend my free time, I would have to conclude that we were not compatible long term & I'd give up the idea that we'd be together forever.

[Kate]

If your partner is uncomfortable with you clubbing, then stop clubbing. You will definitely risk losing your relationship with your life partner if you don't stop.

[Lost 73]

If I enjoyed going clubbing I would not stop because some guy I was dating asked me to. I'd encourage him to come with me. But if it wasn't his thing, I'd hope he trusted me enough to allow me to have fun my way. Understand I mean going to the club, having a few drinks & dancing with my GFs Going to the club to flirt with other guys or grind on them is a problem. That type of person is not ready for a committed relationship.

If my guy didn't trust me or wanted to control me by trying to limit how I spend my free time, I would have to conclude that we were not compatible long term & I'd give up the idea that we'd be together forever.

they are not casually dating they are talking life long. I would suggest not going clubbing for your husband. If not then leave him because it will hurt him that you don't respect him enough for this concession. Everyone makes concessions in relationships

[Zinok]

No.
No one gets to control my actions. If I enjoy something, they don`t get to tell me to stop simply because it makes them uncomfortable.
I`d offer to let them come with me, sure. But unless there was a specific reason they disliked my action that was reasonable, their discomfort doesn`t mean more than my enjoyment and happiness.

Now, if the girl at question goes clubbing, and there`s evidence she`s doing something that constitutes cheating, that`s a different matter, and merits a serious conversation. But if she just likes dancing and the guy is just a jealous control freak, absolutely not. He`s the one in the wrong.

[Lost 73]

No.
No one gets to control my actions. If I enjoy something, they don`t get to tell me to stop simply because it makes them uncomfortable.
I`d offer to let them come with me, sure. But unless there was a specific reason they disliked my action that was reasonable, their discomfort doesn`t mean more than my enjoyment and happiness.

Now, if the girl at question goes clubbing, and there`s evidence she`s doing something that constitutes cheating, that`s a different matter, and merits a serious conversation. But if she just likes dancing and the guy is just a jealous control freak, absolutely not. He`s the one in the wrong.

enjoy being single because in relationships people make concessions, they not willing to change they get left behind. When women go to clubs they usually dance? Correct do they dance with other men? well some men don't like that dancing is intimate and should only be shared with your SO

[Zinok]

enjoy being single because in relationships people make concessions, they not willing to change they get left behind. When women go to clubs they usually dance? Correct do they dance with other men? well some men don't like that dancing is intimate and should only be shared with your SO

Dude, don't make assumptions about me. I've been in a relationship for over three years. I'm well aware of what "concessions" should be reasonably made within the bounds of a healthy relationship.
One partner, TELLING the other person, without cause or reason other than their own insecurities, to stop doing an activity they enjoy is NOT a concession. It is control. It is manipulation.
As I said in my first post, if there is evidence she is doing something that constitutes cheating, or that is damaging to the relationship, then yes that is an issue. But if this guy is simply jealous that she goes dancing, that's his problem to get over, not hers.

[Lost 73]

Dude, don't make assumptions about me. I've been in a relationship for over three years. I'm well aware of what "concessions" should be reasonably made within the bounds of a healthy relationship.
One partner, TELLING the other person, without cause or reason other than their own insecurities, to stop doing an activity they enjoy is NOT a concession. It is control. It is manipulation.
As I said in my first post, if there is evidence she is doing something that constitutes cheating, or that is damaging to the relationship, then yes that is an issue. But if this guy is simply jealous that she goes dancing, that's his problem to get over, not hers.

When a woman goes dancing is she dancing with other men? if so you don't see that as a problem guys touching you as yo dance and stuff or grind that should not be done when one is in a relationship? I feel bad for the guy you are with if has to put with men touching you and etc.