Does my friend like me?

[_phoebe11]

I have a really close guy friend, Luke. He and I have been friends for a long time and I really treasure our friendship. We have always kept up regular contact but I feel a dynamic has changed. He has been slightly lovey dovey lately and been sending me memes/jokes about getting married, and casually bringing up our future kids. It is cute and all, and of course I would marry a guy like him one day, but does it mean he is developing feelings? He has joked about marriage and kids more than once within the past month.

With a friendship there is higher risk and I don't want to ruin what we have. Losing him in my life would break my heart. If I could see into the future and know a relationship would work then I would go all in and do it, we have a natural bond.

Do you think he likes me?

[Gloria]

Yes, I think he likes you. Him joking about marriage and kids often is a clear sign he likes you. He's simply having such jokes to test you reaction to see if you are open to the idea.

However, I will advice you don't initiate a relationship idea but let him be the one to do it. All you need do is make yourself open to him.

[Roy]

Chances are, if you're this confused, he really is attracted to you. The whole "dating ritual between man and women is full of confusing undertones and bizarre rituals that neither one of you are even aware you are doing. So many loves get lost in the confusion...

The key is to take charge and figure this out so you can stop torturing yourself and get on with the smooching.

• Does he treat you differently then other women?

Some guys are just incurable flirts. He'll chat up any girl he sees. Most guys only flirt with the one they are interested in. Pay attention to how he acts around other women. Does he say the same things to them as he does to you? Does he have the same kind of nervous shyness around them too? If not, you can bet he's attracted to you.

Men change around someone they like. Think of gorillas thumping their chest to impress a hot lady gorilla. Does he try to show off around you? Does he do weird things around you that he doesn't do around other girls? On the "Does He Like Me Scale" this is as close to a ten as you can get.

• Is he super nice or super mean to you?

Compliments are obvious signs of attraction, but being mean?!! How does being mean show that he's attracted to you? It seems impossible, but watch any TV show about the mating rituals of mammals and you'll often see the male being a jerk to the female. It's a very primal instinct that men have.

Does he insult you, but then always try to be around you? Is it obvious that he's interested in you, but then he says something mean to you? You can guarantee that most guys don't even realize they do this. But think about what this accomplishes in your mind: you can't stop thinking about him! You spend your days adding up all the nice things he does and then you're stuck analyzing the mean things.

Mission accomplished! He has you confused and crazy. Does He Like Me Scale: 7.5

• Is he always around?

You avoid people that you don't like. You hang out with your friends. You go out of your way to spend time with people you're attracted to. Same goes with the fellas. If he always seems to be around wherever you are, you can bet he likes you. If it seems like a big inconvenience for him to always "swing by," it's a great sign he's attracted to you.

• Check his body language

We gravitate towards people we are interested in. Does he get a little too far into your personal space? Is he always leaning towards you? Does he touch you? Not that kind of touch! Does he bump into you or touch your back or arm when he sees you? This includes the mean touch like playfully trying to trip you or pushing you away.

Think about this: when someone pushes you, it's usually in anger. If he's not angry then he's obviously doing it for some other reason.

Men are not the masters of body language that women are. They aren't very subtle. Any time he touches you are takes a "forward posture" is a great sign of attraction.

• Eye contact

This can go in one of two possible directions. If he's shy he might avoid eye contact at all costs if he really likes you. If he's not shy, he will do his best to catch your eye. Try to get the shy guy to look you in the eyes. He'll give away his feelings for you faster than anything. If he's not the shy type, stare him down. Sometimes it's those small awkward moments that send you both into each other's arms.

Try leaning towards him during one of these stare downs. If he leans in with you, you're in. Go for the kiss if you're really feeling it! Which brings us to...

• Mirroring

When we develop a closeness to someone, we unconsciously start to "mirror" their actions. As you talk to him, touch your ear (or hair or some part of your body) and if he repeats this action within a few minutes, he's showing his interest in you. It could be as simple as him always taking a drink soon after you do.

So he's doing most if not all of the signs of attraction and the readings on the Does He Like Me Scale are through the roof. How do you get him to make the first move? The answer is that he NEVER makes the first move. Sure, he might one day come up to you and ask you out, but you made all the little first moves up until that point.

Show interest in him. Ask him questions about his interests. Touch him back. Compliment him for something and yes, be mean back to him! If all else fails to bring that boy to action, you have to come right out and call him on it:

"I think it's weird that you haven't asked me out on a date."

Whoa girl! No one has ever said that to him before! Even if he was on the fence about you, now he's impressed. Not only that, you're not really putting yourself that far out there for embarrassment. Even if he counters with, "Because I don't want to," you can answer with "Hmmm, interesting." And he's still in the hot seat!

If you make enough "observations" even the shyest guys will break down and ask you out. You no longer have to worry, "Does he like me?" and get on with what you've wanted all along: an awesome relationship.