How to turn off my feelings....

[tiberionx]

Hey guys! Im just reposting this from a different forum just to get other opinions on the situation. also mailabas ang sama ng loob , since it does help a bit diba?

Also I know this is my first post. gusto ko lang talaga na may makausap

anyway....

Recently my wife seems to be going through a phase which is affecting me tremendously , as in sobrang stress. mga 90% ng symptoms of stress for the past few days now.

ve've been together for 10 years now , i do understand her and support her mentally pero emotionally I am totally exhausted.

I love my wife so much kaya lang ako mashadong affected and alam ko naman na mahal ako ng asawa ko ,

My wife of seems to be in love with another person and shes asking me for some time , hindi naman maghiwalay kami pero just to sort out her feelings daw,

alam kong maling mali pero pinagbigyan ko pa din sya.

hindi naman sila nagkikita chat at usap lang. pero i feel her slowly drift away . parang sa hiwalayan din ang punta i feel.


we just go through phases ika nga, midlife crisis siguro.

kelangan ko lang maging manhid ng mga ilang araw o linggo , paano ba!!!

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just a bit more update . this has been going on for a few weeks now, and this is heavily affecting me mentally and physically, cant sleep . as in takbo lang ng takbo ang isip , cant eat , ngayon ko lang na experience na ang sarap tignan ng ulam pero walang lasa.

[bunnyhabit]

it sounds like you and your wife need professional counseling especially you. is the person she is in love with male or female? do you believe she is sexual or just flirting with your competitor? do you notice any changes in her sexual activities with you? are you arguing often over minor things? how long have you been married? the plus factor is she is being honest with you about her love for someone else. have you asked her what in your relationship lead her to search for a new love interest? can you accept an open marriage relationship?

[tiberionx]

Hi ! and thank you for commenting,

My competitor is male. im pretty sure its not sexual , but i do know there is some hugging and kissing involved, I can read their messages , and it hurts to see her say things to him that she told me when we were just starting 10 years ago, Our sexual activities has been normal so far, but ive been underperforming laterly due to the stress im experiencing. We dont really argue over minor things, normal lang ba, We havent gotten married yet because of other complicated things. Shes only honest since nahuli ko sya sa messages . and pag tinatanong ko sya kung bakit ang sagot nya lang ay "Hindi ko alam". And i definitely will not be able to handle an open marriage, ngayon pa lang eh super stressed na ako.

[bunnyhabit]

seems only thing missing in your current relationship is marriage, sexual performance and familiarity. she is looking for someone new after ten years with you without a marriage proposal, your stressing and under performance in bed. people tend to get bored with same old routine over time. you need to spice up her life so her heart will not waiver to someone else's affection. counseling to control your stress is a high priority because most women distance from stressful people in favor relationships with guys that are self confident and aggressive with them.

[Anthony]

There are things that you can do to prevent this. But first, you need to realize that there are things that you're doing to actually make it happen.

Why You're Probably Saying My Wife Fell Out of Love With Me...

There's something that people tend to forget about marriage. They forget that marriage is no different than your relationship before you got married, or when you were trying to pick your wife up, and make her like you.

In other words you need to do the things that keeps your wife attracted to you. If not you'll be exactly where you are right now this moment, saying my wife fell out of love with me.

You don't want to be in that spot anymore do you? Of course not!

And how awesome would it feel to have your wife obsessed with you again, like she was when you first met? Seem like an impossibility?

Well it's absolutely not.

My wife recently was starting to drift away, and I started to ask the question myself of is my wife falling out of love with me. And this is after we went through hell trying to get the marriage back on track after major problems. I thought things were fine, but the distance began to happen and it was almost more scary than all the fighting because at least then she was paying attention to me.

So I started doing some investigating to find out what the heck was going on. I knew that I had to fix this and fix this fast, or else I was going to be on the losing end of either some divorce, or some affair. In case you didn't realize...and I hate to be the one to break it to you...

Affairs Happen When You Start Saying "My Wife Fell Out of Love With Me"

That's just the way it goes. When your wife is no longer in love with you, or attracted to you, then naturally she'll be looking to find someone that she is attracted to...or basically will be attracted to and begin to fall in love with someone else.

I don't say that to scare you...I say that so that you realize how important it is to save your marriage and get your wife falling head over heels with you as quickly as possible.

How to Get Your Wife In Love With You Again...

OK first thing is this. It's very likely that the biggest reason that your wife is falling out of love with you is that she doesn't see you as the person that she NEEDS to see you as. It's primitive instinct and it's even beyond her control.

In fact she most likely doesn't even know it.

What person is that you ask?

That person is MAN of her world. Her protector! Her caveman in a way...the guy who carries the biggest stick!

Of course you don't have to walk around with a stick and pull her around by her hair. What I mean is that she must perceive you as being a REAL man. And since she is falling out of love with you, and isn't attracted to you, then it's likely that you have lost that status.

So now then, what do you have to do to get your wife to fall back in love with you? Buy her flowers? Nope... Take her out on dates? Nope... Kiss her butt...Absolutely NOT!! Be mean to her like a caveman would? Nope not that either. What you need to do is start being a man. Start being a man that isn't a tame domesticated house puppy that she herself has probably turned you into (remember...she doesn't know what she wants).

If you're saying my wife fell out of love with me, it's almost a 99.9% chance that it's because you've lost your status of man of the house.

[Judith]

Most of the time, a spouse will find someone else because they feel like their needs aren't being met. When people get married, sometimes they forget to show each other how much they love each other, as well as many other things.

This happens over time. When couples become comfortable with each other. When they think that, no matter what, they will always be there for each other. Which IS how it's supposed to be, but you both must put at least a little effort into it.

There are a few things that you can do to bring your wife back to you, even after she has left you for another man.

Did she give you a reason for leaving? Sometimes a spouse will give a reason. if so, consider yourself lucky. She is telling you what she needs, hoping you can fulfill those needs.

When a spouse seeks another person to fill a need they have, they are looking for a few different things.

Have you told her that you love her? Have you SHOWN her that you do? When one spouse doesn't feel loved, they will look for it elsewhere.

Even when she is with someone else at the moment, send her a note or card. Tell her that you do love her very much, you just thought she knew it, and haven't done a lot to show it.

Did she need someone to talk to, and you weren't there for her? This happens in a lot of marriages. Especially when times are tough, spouses don't want to talk about things, for fear of causing a fight.

By talking about things, or even just listening to each other, you will be meeting the emotional needs each other has.

Tell your wife that you would like to talk things through. Talk in a public place, so the meeting will be more relaxed.

Were her sexual desires not being met? For most women, this is at the bottom of the 'needs' list, but it is still there.

After working all day, you just want to come home and relax. You may eat dinner and go to bed. If your wife has other plans for the evening, and you just blow her off, she is going to look somewhere else.

By taking care of yourself (getting a haircut, exercising, etc.) not only will you feel better about yourself (which is EXTREMELY important), but you will also show your wife that you DO care about how she feels about you, and you want to make things better between the two of you.

[tiberionx]

Thank you very much for all your answers.

this has been quite enlightening , and yeah I will try to win her back

thanks once again