Conflicted feelings

[Behappyalone]

I am frequently analysing my boyfriend's actions because I find it conflicting. He has a successful career and he takes me on dates frequently, and recently took me on a trip. He never expects me to pay but now and then I contribute what I can. He makes me feel like the most beautiful woman in the room and frequency tells me I'm beautiful. He states that he wants to spend more time with me and always very supportive of my goals. However, he has been honest and said he likes to be seen with me because I'm attractive and it makes him feel better about himself, yet has made a comment here and there on how I could improve my look. He isn't shy about telling me another woman is beautiful. I admit to commenting on a woman's Beauty too but I feel when he does it he says it with passion. I've noticed him checking out other women, then after tells me how beautiful I am. As if he's comparing me. He says he wants to spend more time with me but then chooses to hang with friends instead. Sometimes I find he omits the truth, but owns up completely if I ask him about it. I'm so conflicted. I'm a confident, strong woman who knows her worth but I'm conflicted because sometimes he makes me feel appreciated and top dog but other times so insecure. Do I need to relax and calm my thoughts or should I be cautious?

[Gloria]

You don't have to be cautions, because doing hat will kill your relationship. However, you must be sensitive to his moves and be able to know when he's drifting away from you. At the moment, he's really in love with you and so show him love in return.

As for him checking out other women, it's normal for guys to do this and don't let that bother you. Also, don't be too clingy and allow him hang out with fiends whenever he wants to.

[Scot]

Love can be a very confusing thing and you can be left confused about your relationship. How can you tell if a man really loves you or is just fooling around? Read on and find out how to tell the difference.

What are your activities like
You can get an idea about whether a guy really loves you or is just fooling around by the kind of activities that you do together. If you guys do things besides sex then he is in love with you but if you meet only when he wants some action then he is just fooling around.

Look at the gifts that you get
Men give gifts to please their women and these gifts speak a lot of what he actually wants. While an occasional sensual gift such as lingerie is fine, however, if you find that he is giving you gifts related only to sex then you should know that all he is doing is fooling around.

Is he open to talk about some long term plans
When a guy is in love with you, he will talk about his long term plans and goals with you. He will involve you in the decision making processes and will value your opinion. If he doesn't do any of this and doesn't share anything with you then know that he's only interested in fooling around.

Does he flirt with your friends
When a guy is in love with you he will make an effort to get your friends to like him but he will never cross the line and flirt with him. But if your man behaves outrageously and flirts with every woman including your friends then he doesn't care about you or your feelings and is only fooling around with you.

Do you always pay for him
Equality is fine, and sharing or even footing the bill for you is also fine. But if you find yourself paying for him at all times and suddenly see that his bills and living expenses are being covered by you then he is interested only in fooling around with you.

Is he sulky if you are not having sex
What happens if you tell him one day you cannot have sex when you meet? If he is in love with you then he'll stick around, find out what's bothering you and will try to make you feel better by doing some other activity. If he's fooling around he will either press for the sex or come up with some excuse and scoot.

He gives you support
When a guy loves you he will be there for you and will support you at all times. But if he's fooling around he doesn't care about you or the kind of support you need.

[bdog]

I like Gloria's response. If you want to be with him enough, I guess you'll put up with it. I can relate to your BF's statements. I behaved this way in my marriage which ended a few years ago. I was married to a hottie, I was proud of that fact, and I liked it when others became aware of it. I also had a problem with looking at other women. However, I tried very hard not to do it when she was around. Furthermore, I would have never dreamed of telling my ex-wife that I found another woman attractive, let alone with any passion. I tried to make her feel like a princess, but I could have done much better.

You sound like an awesome girl. If you get tired of him, let me know! I'm single

[slykender]

My first time ever writing on a relationship forum

As a guy, i've been caught checking out other woman in front of my girlfriend. Men are visual creatures. I've never commented about a girls attractiveness to my girlfriend.

I believe its ok to notice beauty in everything, including woman. I don't have urges to cheat on my girlfriend because i love her. I also believe that if she sees an attractive male, she can take in the beauty all she wants, because i know she loves me and shes not going to cheat on me for a superficial reason.

My advice would be to not let it bother you unless you notice other signs. Maybe bring it up for discussion, let him know your feelings about checking out other woman when he is with you.

[ananthiM]

I think checking out other woman is fine, and spending time with friends is also necessary, and as you said he wants to spend more time with me and always very supportive of my goals. However, he has been honest and said he likes to be seen with me because I'm attractive. No need to worry he wont leave you.

[tion]

I think checking out other woman is fine, and spending time with friends is also necessary, and as you said he wants to spend more time with me and always very supportive of my goals. However, he has been honest and said he likes to be seen with me because I'm attractive. No need to worry he wont leave you.

I agree with you