Husbands fantasy/curiosity

[CrazyTrain]

My husband(30) and I(30) have been together going on 14 years. We got together senior year of high school and have been together since. We had our problems thru the years but till recently maybe about 2 years now we’ve gotten a lot closer. We’ve started being more open with each other and talking more. It’s made our relationship so much more better. We have a 5 year old and recently found out we were expecting. Going about 5 months along now. A while back we started talking more about who we’ve become and somewhere in there the topic of what we never got to experience came up. We got together at 17. Mostly about drinking, weed, and sexual experiences. We got caught up in the sex talk because of him though. I was my husbands first everything. First girl he dated and first he slept with. I had dated before but he was my first in bed. He mentioned about having the fantasy/curiosity about never experiencing other women. Passed me would’ve gotten so hurt but I’ve grown to be more understanding about our human feelings. To him it’s just about sex. Just the feeling about being inside another woman. I know he loves me and cares for me. I personally don’t have any fantasies about being with another man. I feel my husband is enough for me and vowed to be his and him mine but I understand we are only human and we all have thoughts. Growing the way we have got me thinking about maybe a threesome. I don’t think I’m comfortable in just saying he could go be with another woman alone but I think I’d feel a bit more comfortable if we experienced it together. I thru that out there and he ran with it. He said it gets him excited thinking he could finally have his chance to experience another woman but also see his wife experimenting with another woman too. Girl on girl has never been his thing but I guess excited him since he would still get something he’s been wanting. He has expressed to me because the type of woman he’s known me to be since we first met that he’s worried it wouldn’t go the way I think it would. I used to be real self conscious and would get jealous easily. I feel like I’m comfortable with it but of course I’m not absolutely sure since I’ve never experienced that but I think I’ve grown enough to maybe understand how I would feel. He cares about me deeply and doesn’t want me to be hurt but of course I’ve already rattled him since I’ve been excited about trying it too. Again still not sure how I would deal with it though. I don’t know if anyone really knows how they would feel in the end though. After having a day go by I started to think of other stuff. What if the woman has an std, condom breaks, and what about pregnancy? I mentioned these things to him and planned that we would all get tested and show the proof, he would of course wear a condom, and as for pregnancy he said he would do the deed with her but finish off in me so we could also have that connection. I felt more comfortable with having that resolved but for some reason still don’t know what to do. Part of me wants to do it because I’m worried if his urges get stronger then maybe he’ll cheat or just drive us apart even though he’s sure he’ll never cheat. We recently found out his father cheated on his mother and it took its toll on him. He’s also always said he would never cheat on me cause he loves me and has always said a couple should talk about problems to hopefully resolve whatever is wrong before you make a stupid mistake. He says I’m enough for him in bed and in every other way. He doesn’t want another relationship because he loves me and our family and I truly believe him. He doesn’t feel there’s anything wrong with our relationship it’s just the fantasy that has him thinking about sleeping with other women a lot. We’ve also recently started looking at women in public just to see what we would both be interested in and I’ve surprisingly found it easy and exiting. I’m worried if we don’t try it then the fantasy will take over and make him cheat or just drive us apart. Don’t get me wrong I do find it exciting thinking about trying a threesome but again don’t know 100% how to feel. Has anyone else been thru this?

[Ashley]

Having a threesome can fix your marriage and make it better in so many ways. It will take your relationship to a whole new level, sexually, intellectually, and emotionally.

One way that a threesome can help your marriage is by building back trust that may have been lost, or even never gained, previously in the relationship. When you have a threesome with your husband, you are letting him know that you completely trust him with your body. It also takes away any chance or desire your husband would have for cheating on you in the first place, so you don't have to worry about him running around with different women. Often, marriages are broken up and end in divorce when one partner gets jealous or worried that the other partner is cheating on them, and it escalates from there.

A threesome, while being a physical activity that focuses on the body, it is also a chance to explore your emotional and intellectual boundaries when it comes to sex. This is very important for long term relationships to work out, that both partners respect and trust each other not just sexually, but emotionally and intellectually as well. A threesome is the perfect place to establish and explore those boundaries.

A threesome is also the perfect way to spice up a marriage that may have become dull or stagnant after several years. A threesome is a new experience that will be fun and exciting for both of you. It will also allow you to open your mind and be more accepting of new ideas in general, which will make you an overall happier person. It is also a chance for you or your partner to live out one of their sexual fantasies. This is important in any marriage because it shows that you love your spouse exactly for who they are and are comfortable trying and exploring new things with them. This can be a great way to get new ideas and positions for future sessions with just you and your spouse. By bringing someone outside of marriage into your bedroom, you are also more likely to stay in good physical shape, which will make your husband more attracted to you and make you feel sexier and better about yourself, which is the real key to saving your marriage.

[Scot]

So you and your man want to have a threesome. You've talked about it, fantasized about it during lovemaking and now you think you're ready to explore and experiment with another woman in your bed. Now if you could just find that "special" woman who is willing to jump in the sack with not just one stranger, but two - you and your man.

The idea of being used as a live, human dildo to excite and add spice to a married couple's "sexcapades" is not the secret fantasy of many bisexual woman. There's a reason why that unattached, willing third-party is referred to as a unicorn.

The truth is, most women are not likely to just jump in the sack with any stranger, let alone two of them at once. Most bisexual women prefer to develop at least a friendship with another woman before reaching the comfort level to pursue a sexual intrigue.

There's a name for women that jump into bed with two strangers, and it's not Bisexual...it's Prostitute. If that's all you want, cut out the time wasted placing personal ads and the issues you will raise with other Bi women. Go to that street corner most towns have, or pick up the phone and make a deal with a sex professional.

Making the transition from the shared bedroom fantasy to the real-life version of a threesome is a lunar leap. When you involve another woman in your sex play, the maturity level of your own relationship is tested. If you have trust issues or are unable to separate sex from love, it may be best to leave the threesome in the fantasy world of your minds.

The horror stories you've heard, where the whole experience was a bust and how the relationship completely unraveled as a result of the threesome, stem from pre-existing underlying problems in the couple's relationship. If you have unresolved issues in your relationship, you had better tend to those first, instead of embarking on a threesome. (You'd have better luck trying to save the relationship by having a baby - we all know that works like a charm!)

In a real threesome, you have to stretch, grow, let go of a lot of inhibitions, learned attitudes and beliefs and allow your man to not only lust after another woman, but come to orgasm because of her in front of you. If you (or he) can't handle that, take your ball and go home now. This is not for the faint of heart. This is for big girls.

Once you feel certain your relationship can handle a threesome, remember that the other woman is a person, too! She's not a "present" to your husband or an "accessory" to your sex play time. Her feelings should always be considered, of course. She has the least to gain and the most to lose.

Realistically, what does she have to gain by making herself vulnerable to becoming attached to a married couple, both of whom are already committed to each other, first and foremost? At best, she can hope to be number two. Now how many of us yearn for attaining the number two position in a relationship? Isn't number one were we want to be?

Frankly, it's very creepy to approach another woman at the start of a relationship on the premise of sleeping with your man. She's interested in YOU. Most bisexual women want to sleep with another woman - not have a threesome. I know you don't want to hear this, but save the talk about the threesome for later - MUCH later! Think about how you would feel, if it were you.

Inexperienced bisexual women are usually not ready to embrace the psychological impact of a threesome. Experienced bisexual women can tell if you are genuinely interested in developing a relationship, or just trolling for someone to spice up your own sex life.

The real question is this: are you actually interested in developing a relationship with another woman, regardless of whether it develops into the fantastical "threesome" of your imagination? Or, are you just wanting to find a girl to make your man happy?

Your best strategy is to first find a girlfriend for you. Develop a relationship and get to know each other personally, psychologically and sexually, if it gets that far. Until you've developed a relationship, it's really inappropriate to put pressure on her to be interested in your man.

The attraction to your man may or may not materialize. Be realistic about your expectations and most of all, remember to treat others with dignity and respect. Don't fall prey to the mythical thinking that because she's bisexual, she's a bed hopper and treats sexual escapades lightly.

If all you want is a gift for your man, you're better off buying one.

[TheDarkOne]

Don't if you aren't comfortable. I was in a 15 year relationship and we did exactly the same thing. It's no different from one woman to the next if you aren't in love with them. My ex was bi-curious and we experimented with it. We found a willing partner online not far from where we lived. Yes, it was exciting at the time. Would I do it again? No.

[tion]

it's pointless