Together for 1.5 months, left because he was unsure

[loey]

Hello guys.

X and I dated in 2016 for about a month and we broke off as I had someone else in my heart.

We kept in contact through 2017 as we had mutual friends.

2018, X told me that he was unsure of his feelings for me. He wasn't sure if he would end up liking me or hurting me but we proceeded to be together as I had lingering feelings left over from 2016. This time round, I told myself that I would try my best in the relationship for the loss time in 2016. I was committed throughout but on and off again, he would tell me that he's still unsure of his feelings.

X told me that he couldn't overlook my flaws. Throughout the entire 1.5 months of being together in 2018, he told me a total of 4x that he was unsure of his feelings and whenever I ask for a break, he would come back telling me how much he cherished me and love me. Again and again, I kept trying hoping that he would look at me the same way. But the cycle continues.

X saw a girl during his graduation and told me that he find her his "ideal" type and was a little interested. Upon hearing that from him, my heart was shattered and I didn't know how to continue this. I kept wonder if my effort had gone to waste, why am I easily replaced because someone else looked better than me?

We finally broke up a week ago as both of us felt that the 1.5 months together was draining (especially on my end, as i kept trying only to hear him say that he's unsure).

Right now, I heard from our mutual friends that he had already went to talked to the girl via Instagram.

A part of me is still hanging on to him, even though I know he doesn't like me at all at this point in time. I still have hope in me, maybe because of the things he said to me.

It is very hard for me to have a clean cut from him as much as I want to, as our mutual friends are very very close to me. We game together, and hang out together. We are like in a clique and I don't want my feelings to make things awkward for everyone.

I know I should move on, but I can't seem to rid the hope in me.

Should I try again?

[smackie9]

No you shouldn't try again and TBH you should have dumped him the second he told you that he was unsure of his feelings for you....you didn't listen!!!! He was never that into you....now here you are watching him getting with other girls. Please let him go! And yes you can rid of the rope, and cut it clean off. Have some self worth...you deserve better than that.

[Gray]

The fact is that, if the relationship didn't work before, then there is a probability that it won't work again this time around. So, it's best to move on in order to avoid wasting your time.

[Gloria]

Before putting your energy into trying again, it's important to look at the reasons you should (or should not) take him back. These questions will help you sort it all out.

Does my ex really want me back?

If your ex says he wants you back, make sure he wants all of you rather than a piece of you. You're worth more than a booty call, so don't take him back unless he's serious. Sleeping together will ruin any progress you've made getting over the breakup, so only reopen that door when his intentions match your own.

Should I get back with my ex boyfriend despite unsolvable problems?

Sometimes couples deal with relationship problems that they're unable (or unwilling) to fix. For example, your ex may have a problem with anger management, drug addiction, or low self esteem. These personal issues can lead to relationship issues that make a healthy relationship impossible. If you've been hit, pushed, or verbally abused, he has problems that you can't fix.

It's okay to empathize with his problems, but that doesn't mean you should take him back. There's no way to fix a broken relationship when what really needs fixing is a broken person. Accept that the one you love may be completely unfit for the job of loving you back.

Is he worth dealing with heartache again?

The first days after a break up are the worst. You might cry all day, eat ice cream until you puke, toss and turn all night, and feel convinced you'll never get over the pain. That's step one for heartache. Once you overcome the worst of it, and your heart is healing, you'll want to think twice before letting your ex back in.

If you get back with your ex and it doesn't work, you'll have to start over with all the heartache at step one. Is he worth it? You'll have to trust your gut for answers on this. If the relationship was pretty good overall, maybe he's worth the risk. Maybe he's even your soul mate.

Do I get back with my ex boyfriend out of habit?

In a dead end relationship, being together becomes nothing more than a bad habit. Such couples are clearly wrong for each other, but they constantly break up and get back together. What a waste! If the relationship isn't going anywhere positive, don't bother to take him back this time.

Should I get back with my ex if I'm lonely?

It's disturbing to suddenly find yourself without a special person to talk with for hours, go on dates, and share intimate moments. The loneliness might drive you to thoughts of getting back together with your ex, but that doesn't mean you should take him back.

Was the relationship good? Were you happy with him? If not, what are you really missing? Is it the perks of being in a relationship with someone, or do you actually miss the someone? If your boyfriend treated you right and the relationship was good, you might miss him terribly. That's completely normal and maybe you should get back with him.

But why should you get back with your ex boyfriend who cheated on you, lied to you, or just made you miserable? If he wasn't right for you, maybe your heartache isn't about him at all. The void you feel after a break up is only temporary, so don't take him back just to fill it.

Should I get back with my ex if things have (or have not) changed?

Before you try to get back with your ex, consider what changed since the break up. Ask yourself, "How will things be different this time?" Did he somehow become less jealous? Did you magically start liking his kids? Did he get a job or stop drinking? Did you get couples counseling? Is the third party out of the picture?

If nothing has changed since you broke up, maybe you're not ready to get back together.

[tion]

Before putting your energy into trying again, it's important to look at the reasons you should (or should not) take him back. These questions will help you sort it all out.

Does my ex really want me back?

If your ex says he wants you back, make sure he wants all of you rather than a piece of you. You're worth more than a booty call, so don't take him back unless he's serious. Sleeping together will ruin any progress you've made getting over the breakup, so only reopen that door when his intentions match your own.

Should I get back with my ex boyfriend despite unsolvable problems?

Sometimes couples deal with relationship problems that they're unable (or unwilling) to fix. For example, your ex may have a problem with anger management, drug addiction, or low self esteem. These personal issues can lead to relationship issues that make a healthy relationship impossible. If you've been hit, pushed, or verbally abused, he has problems that you can't fix.

It's okay to empathize with his problems, but that doesn't mean you should take him back. There's no way to fix a broken relationship when what really needs fixing is a broken person. Accept that the one you love may be completely unfit for the job of loving you back.

Is he worth dealing with heartache again?

The first days after a break up are the worst. You might cry all day, eat ice cream until you puke, toss and turn all night, and feel convinced you'll never get over the pain. That's step one for heartache. Once you overcome the worst of it, and your heart is healing, you'll want to think twice before letting your ex back in.

If you get back with your ex and it doesn't work, you'll have to start over with all the heartache at step one. Is he worth it? You'll have to trust your gut for answers on this. If the relationship was pretty good overall, maybe he's worth the risk. Maybe he's even your soul mate.

Do I get back with my ex boyfriend out of habit?

In a dead end relationship, being together becomes nothing more than a bad habit. Such couples are clearly wrong for each other, but they constantly break up and get back together. What a waste! If the relationship isn't going anywhere positive, don't bother to take him back this time.

Should I get back with my ex if I'm lonely?

It's disturbing to suddenly find yourself without a special person to talk with for hours, go on dates, and share intimate moments. The loneliness might drive you to thoughts of getting back together with your ex, but that doesn't mean you should take him back.

Was the relationship good? Were you happy with him? If not, what are you really missing? Is it the perks of being in a relationship with someone, or do you actually miss the someone? If your boyfriend treated you right and the relationship was good, you might miss him terribly. That's completely normal and maybe you should get back with him.

But why should you get back with your ex boyfriend who cheated on you, lied to you, or just made you miserable? If he wasn't right for you, maybe your heartache isn't about him at all. The void you feel after a break up is only temporary, so don't take him back just to fill it.

Should I get back with my ex if things have (or have not) changed?

Before you try to get back with your ex, consider what changed since the break up. Ask yourself, "How will things be different this time?" Did he somehow become less jealous? Did you magically start liking his kids? Did he get a job or stop drinking? Did you get couples counseling? Is the third party out of the picture?

If nothing has changed since you broke up, maybe you're not ready to get back together.

Useful to know.