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I expect to be flamed for what I will write, but I'm also hoping to get some useful feedback. I'm not looking for "do this" type of advice or unsupported assertions. But, hey, say what you want. I'm a big boy and I can take it.
I am in my mid 50s. I take care of myself and look quite a bit younger. I can easily pass for being 10 years younger, even 15. I often lie about my age when I meet a girl. I am engaged to a woman in her early 30s (who does know my age, of course) who lives geographically far from me until the end of the year. Lately I started seeing a girl in her late 20s that I met at a grocery store. We have had sex a few times and I plan to keep seeing her until my fiance arrives. I have not told either about the other. I also had sex with a couple of other girls (one mid thirties, the other 21) a week ago, that I met online (no money involved in case you're wondering).
I don't feel too great about what I've been doing, but neither am I wracked with guilt. I believe that the norms of our society try to squeeze people into a monogamous mold that many don't fit. I think that monogamy is a relatively recent phenomenon (maybe the last 200 years) in America and most of the West. I think as humans, who are not naturally monogamous try to do that which is unnatural, dissatisfaction and heartache ensue. Males, in particular, provide the most benefit to the species, in terms of raw numbers, by having sex with multiple partners. I'll admit that child rearing is an important function of organisms as well, however. 100 years ago poor people desperately needed to mate and reproduce to ensure their own survival, let alone that of their offspring. That is not true anymore. Women can raise children on their own, allowing men to seek other (in many cases younger) sexual partners.
One might say that I am just looking for excuses to do what I'm doing. I wouldn't say that's correct. I am generally unhappy with my life. Although I've had sex with 51 women, including 18 years monogamously with just one, I am alone much of the time and have sex on average only 10 times/year. I know I would have more sex and not be alone if I was in a monogamous relationship. I hope to achieve that with my fiance, but of course I have my doubts. Meanwhile, the local girl, who thinks I'm in my early 40s, is pretty cute and fun. She goes to the gym everyday and has a cute personality. We have fun together. I hate to think about the pain that will eventually befall her. I usually cry when I hurt a girl, but not in front of them. I am capable of empathy I think, but ultimately I am selfish and will lie to get what I want (sex).
I think that our culture would function better if people no longer bought into the myth of lifetime monogamy. I think people could live together in groups (polygamous in some cases), and have companionship, fellowship, and even love, without the artificial expectation of prince and princess charming living happily ever after.
Even if you don't agree, can you identify with or relate to any of this?
I am in my mid 50s. I take care of myself and look quite a bit younger. I can easily pass for being 10 years younger, even 15. I often lie about my age when I meet a girl. I am engaged to a woman in her early 30s (who does know my age, of course) who lives geographically far from me until the end of the year. Lately I started seeing a girl in her late 20s that I met at a grocery store. We have had sex a few times and I plan to keep seeing her until my fiance arrives. I have not told either about the other. I also had sex with a couple of other girls (one mid thirties, the other 21) a week ago, that I met online (no money involved in case you're wondering).
I don't feel too great about what I've been doing, but neither am I wracked with guilt. I believe that the norms of our society try to squeeze people into a monogamous mold that many don't fit. I think that monogamy is a relatively recent phenomenon (maybe the last 200 years) in America and most of the West. I think as humans, who are not naturally monogamous try to do that which is unnatural, dissatisfaction and heartache ensue. Males, in particular, provide the most benefit to the species, in terms of raw numbers, by having sex with multiple partners. I'll admit that child rearing is an important function of organisms as well, however. 100 years ago poor people desperately needed to mate and reproduce to ensure their own survival, let alone that of their offspring. That is not true anymore. Women can raise children on their own, allowing men to seek other (in many cases younger) sexual partners.
One might say that I am just looking for excuses to do what I'm doing. I wouldn't say that's correct. I am generally unhappy with my life. Although I've had sex with 51 women, including 18 years monogamously with just one, I am alone much of the time and have sex on average only 10 times/year. I know I would have more sex and not be alone if I was in a monogamous relationship. I hope to achieve that with my fiance, but of course I have my doubts. Meanwhile, the local girl, who thinks I'm in my early 40s, is pretty cute and fun. She goes to the gym everyday and has a cute personality. We have fun together. I hate to think about the pain that will eventually befall her. I usually cry when I hurt a girl, but not in front of them. I am capable of empathy I think, but ultimately I am selfish and will lie to get what I want (sex).
I think that our culture would function better if people no longer bought into the myth of lifetime monogamy. I think people could live together in groups (polygamous in some cases), and have companionship, fellowship, and even love, without the artificial expectation of prince and princess charming living happily ever after.
Even if you don't agree, can you identify with or relate to any of this?
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