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Hey dear all!
Maybe someone has similar experiences and could give me some advice:
So I am in a very happy relationship since one and a half year, very beautiful and lovely. We support each other, like each other. Due to our jobs, we don't see each other very much, we both travel sometimes for a few weeks. But this never bothered any of us so far. Well... sometimes he worries about it, but not too much I would say. We are both in the mid-twenties and its for both of us the first serious relationship as we always just felt pretty independent and quite busy with our lifes... we didn't search for each other, it just happened. And I could not imagine one day without him, ever again... it feels right, it feels like he is the one I always waited for... we are completing each others lifestyle, our feelings... ourselves... which is more than beautiful. And I believe the feels the same way, generally. I would say he is very happy that he finally found someone that fits into his life of traveling, serious mountain adventures and serious sport goals. And same goes for me, I am very, very happy to have him. Since we are dating, we were already apart from each other during five or six longer journeys - he left for America last spring for several weeks, everything was just fine. Then again to Asia for several weeks, also no problem. I left for some business trips also for several weeks, no problem...
So my boyfriend currently is again traveling and training for his sport in America for six weeks, I am in Europe. We always sent each other pictures, videos, very nice and beautiful messages. He would miss me, think of me, wishing I was here. Every day since left in June. But then, suddenly - from one day to another, now two weeks ago - after half of the time that he left, he stopped contacting me. Just stopped answering, writing, calling. I wrote him. Nothing. The next day again, no answer. The third day I wrote that I would worry about him and he should answer, please. Then he only answered, that he probably thinks too much...
From one day, one hour to another - from the brightest day to darkest night in one minute, from hundred to zero, from perfect to anger, doubt. How can that be... (I don't really think its another woman...)
We currently have nine hours of time difference, so its only my mornings and evenings that he has Wifi. No telephone.
Right when he finally answered after these three days, I called him straight away, six times or so because he was still online, I wrote him he should answer the phone please.... but nothing. No answer, no message. Then he went offline, again.
I was crying totally desperately the whole night, and wrote him a very nice, lovely and very long message... very understanding and calm. And powerful. When he read it the next day, he answered that he doesn't know whats going on, everything is good but... he thinks a lot about himself, about me and us, and he starts to "lose courage" (what the fuck does that mean?"), but for this he has me. And my long text washed his brain clear, he even had wet eyes. He thanks me that I am there for him, that would mean the world to him.
So thats it... I didn't know what to answer, so I didn't, this was four days ago, since then we haven't heard from each other... I don't know how to behave. Do I stress him? Do I make pressure? Does he need support? Does he need more security from my side? Or is it the opposite? At least I know that I love him. And I wanted to tell him, for the first time when he comes back home. Now I don't know if I should.
I have to work, but can't. I should eat, but can't. I am thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and thinking. Waiting. Thinking. Looking for answers... reading texts about "fear of commitment" and so on... looking for similar experiences, advice... on how I should behave now, how I could help him.
He comes back in one week... everything was just perfect when he left.
Thank you.
Maybe someone has similar experiences and could give me some advice:
So I am in a very happy relationship since one and a half year, very beautiful and lovely. We support each other, like each other. Due to our jobs, we don't see each other very much, we both travel sometimes for a few weeks. But this never bothered any of us so far. Well... sometimes he worries about it, but not too much I would say. We are both in the mid-twenties and its for both of us the first serious relationship as we always just felt pretty independent and quite busy with our lifes... we didn't search for each other, it just happened. And I could not imagine one day without him, ever again... it feels right, it feels like he is the one I always waited for... we are completing each others lifestyle, our feelings... ourselves... which is more than beautiful. And I believe the feels the same way, generally. I would say he is very happy that he finally found someone that fits into his life of traveling, serious mountain adventures and serious sport goals. And same goes for me, I am very, very happy to have him. Since we are dating, we were already apart from each other during five or six longer journeys - he left for America last spring for several weeks, everything was just fine. Then again to Asia for several weeks, also no problem. I left for some business trips also for several weeks, no problem...
So my boyfriend currently is again traveling and training for his sport in America for six weeks, I am in Europe. We always sent each other pictures, videos, very nice and beautiful messages. He would miss me, think of me, wishing I was here. Every day since left in June. But then, suddenly - from one day to another, now two weeks ago - after half of the time that he left, he stopped contacting me. Just stopped answering, writing, calling. I wrote him. Nothing. The next day again, no answer. The third day I wrote that I would worry about him and he should answer, please. Then he only answered, that he probably thinks too much...
From one day, one hour to another - from the brightest day to darkest night in one minute, from hundred to zero, from perfect to anger, doubt. How can that be... (I don't really think its another woman...)
We currently have nine hours of time difference, so its only my mornings and evenings that he has Wifi. No telephone.
Right when he finally answered after these three days, I called him straight away, six times or so because he was still online, I wrote him he should answer the phone please.... but nothing. No answer, no message. Then he went offline, again.
I was crying totally desperately the whole night, and wrote him a very nice, lovely and very long message... very understanding and calm. And powerful. When he read it the next day, he answered that he doesn't know whats going on, everything is good but... he thinks a lot about himself, about me and us, and he starts to "lose courage" (what the fuck does that mean?"), but for this he has me. And my long text washed his brain clear, he even had wet eyes. He thanks me that I am there for him, that would mean the world to him.
So thats it... I didn't know what to answer, so I didn't, this was four days ago, since then we haven't heard from each other... I don't know how to behave. Do I stress him? Do I make pressure? Does he need support? Does he need more security from my side? Or is it the opposite? At least I know that I love him. And I wanted to tell him, for the first time when he comes back home. Now I don't know if I should.
I have to work, but can't. I should eat, but can't. I am thinking, and thinking, and thinking, and thinking. Waiting. Thinking. Looking for answers... reading texts about "fear of commitment" and so on... looking for similar experiences, advice... on how I should behave now, how I could help him.
He comes back in one week... everything was just perfect when he left.
Thank you.
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