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Some background:
We've been together for 3yrs total (I proposed to her 1 year later and we've been living together since (past 2 years now). I am 41 yr old a man and she is 39 yrs old.
Ever since I've known her, she always got frustrated over things that bothered her. She has always been quick to react, and just comes across like a *****, but I grew to understand that she had another issue; she eventually told me that she has a generalized anxiety disorder, even has therapy (I’ve attended as well) and medication to help, and it has helped tremendously, but just not enough as this issue I’m upset about below, usually happens 1-3 times a week.
The problem:
She does have anxiety about things in general, and I support her and love her through that, but the thing I can't deal with is how she talks to people (include myself). Not all conversations are bad, just the ones that she gets annoyed/frustrated by, and then the disrespectful tone comes out, it’s a tense tone and demeanor that I think just happens way to frequently. She doesn’t insult, but it’s her angry tone and attitude I have a problem with. I used to call her out, by saying in a nice but concerning way, “Hey, you were kinda mean,” but lately I’ve been just saying that she is talking disrespectful and sometimes I just get angry and have to leave the room. I feel bad for her, and I understand she doesn't have the ability to think clearly under her emotions, it’s not easy for anyone especially someone with an anxiety disorder, but not sure if I can live like this. I feel the anger/tension she puts onto others, whether they deserve it or not, and it happens quite often enough that I can’t live like this. I talk to her about it, and she says I don’t understand how other people are or that I don’t understand where she’s coming from. I tried putting myself in her place, and sometimes think maybe I’m the one who’s wrong. But her disrespect towards others happens more than I can handle, even though most are short in duration, but I don’t think I can live like this. I recently bought a book (about couples who have an anxious partner) I wanted to read with her, and she thanked me for it. I sometimes say, this is just the way she is, and this is just the way I am, or maybe think one day she will get better at this since she has shown tremendous growth in other areas, but know deep down I don’t like it and don’t want to live like this. Any advice?
We've been together for 3yrs total (I proposed to her 1 year later and we've been living together since (past 2 years now). I am 41 yr old a man and she is 39 yrs old.
Ever since I've known her, she always got frustrated over things that bothered her. She has always been quick to react, and just comes across like a *****, but I grew to understand that she had another issue; she eventually told me that she has a generalized anxiety disorder, even has therapy (I’ve attended as well) and medication to help, and it has helped tremendously, but just not enough as this issue I’m upset about below, usually happens 1-3 times a week.
The problem:
She does have anxiety about things in general, and I support her and love her through that, but the thing I can't deal with is how she talks to people (include myself). Not all conversations are bad, just the ones that she gets annoyed/frustrated by, and then the disrespectful tone comes out, it’s a tense tone and demeanor that I think just happens way to frequently. She doesn’t insult, but it’s her angry tone and attitude I have a problem with. I used to call her out, by saying in a nice but concerning way, “Hey, you were kinda mean,” but lately I’ve been just saying that she is talking disrespectful and sometimes I just get angry and have to leave the room. I feel bad for her, and I understand she doesn't have the ability to think clearly under her emotions, it’s not easy for anyone especially someone with an anxiety disorder, but not sure if I can live like this. I feel the anger/tension she puts onto others, whether they deserve it or not, and it happens quite often enough that I can’t live like this. I talk to her about it, and she says I don’t understand how other people are or that I don’t understand where she’s coming from. I tried putting myself in her place, and sometimes think maybe I’m the one who’s wrong. But her disrespect towards others happens more than I can handle, even though most are short in duration, but I don’t think I can live like this. I recently bought a book (about couples who have an anxious partner) I wanted to read with her, and she thanked me for it. I sometimes say, this is just the way she is, and this is just the way I am, or maybe think one day she will get better at this since she has shown tremendous growth in other areas, but know deep down I don’t like it and don’t want to live like this. Any advice?
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