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I’ve been with my girlfriend for over 3 years and it’s getting towards that point of marriage, kids, mortgage etc. I absolutely want this and see a bright and happy future together. However, before I settling down with her I want to do a career break and travel for a year around Australia and Asia. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do and it’s literally now or never. I was granted a 1-year working holiday visa for Australia just before I turned 31 last year and the deadline to use the visa is fast approaching. I love travelling together but I want to do a bit of solo travelling first, probably for a few months or so, then the idea is that my girlfriend joins me for the rest of the trip. I feel that travelling solo is a totally different experience to travelling as a couple and I want to experience a bit more of that before settling down.
The problem is that she doesn’t want to travel, she’s happy where she is and isn’t interested in it. We spoke about it when I applied for the visa and she was happy about the idea, now one year on she’s changed her mind. This has led to quite a lot of arguments in the past months and she says that I’m selfish for wanting to go to another country for potentially a whole year. As home and Australia are opposite sides of the globe, regular visits aren’t an option.
She says that if I go travelling she will end the relationship, but I know that if I don’t go I’ll absolutely regret it for the rest of my life. This is something I’ve thought about doing for the last decade – I know I should have done it in the past when I was single but I never had the money and was building up experience in a career. She says that if I loved her I wouldn’t even consider going to another country without her. I do love her and want to travel together but it’s her decision if she comes. I really don’t know what to do, I can’t think of a good compromise and she’s heavily trying to persuade me not to do it, or to at least postpone the trip for another year – which I can’t because of the visa! I could get a three month tourist visa but it’s not long enough time and I want to get a taste of working and living in another country.
The problem is that she doesn’t want to travel, she’s happy where she is and isn’t interested in it. We spoke about it when I applied for the visa and she was happy about the idea, now one year on she’s changed her mind. This has led to quite a lot of arguments in the past months and she says that I’m selfish for wanting to go to another country for potentially a whole year. As home and Australia are opposite sides of the globe, regular visits aren’t an option.
She says that if I go travelling she will end the relationship, but I know that if I don’t go I’ll absolutely regret it for the rest of my life. This is something I’ve thought about doing for the last decade – I know I should have done it in the past when I was single but I never had the money and was building up experience in a career. She says that if I loved her I wouldn’t even consider going to another country without her. I do love her and want to travel together but it’s her decision if she comes. I really don’t know what to do, I can’t think of a good compromise and she’s heavily trying to persuade me not to do it, or to at least postpone the trip for another year – which I can’t because of the visa! I could get a three month tourist visa but it’s not long enough time and I want to get a taste of working and living in another country.
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