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Hi,
My girlfriend (of one year) is an emotional/drama type. She is 29 years old,I am 34. I don't mind this as long as I know how I can handle it well myself without getting drawn into the negative or dramatic feelings. She confuses me sometimes because on many occasions she can be a girl that needs a lot of attention, for example if Im away she NEEDS to be called at least once per 3 days. She has admitted, and we have joked about, her need for attention. She's usually talkative.
Then again, sometimes I call her, like today, and she is mainly silent on the phone. I ask her interested questions about what she is doing and she responds with abrupt 1-3 word, minimal, answers that convey very little information except what is scientifically required to answer my question. Also, her tone of voice is not engaging (not nasty, but makes me feel wierd to be on the phone). A part of me is telling myself that it's disrespectful for my girlfriend to be carrying out a conversation with me in that manner, only giving short and minimalistic answers to my questions. It's like she doesn't feel like she should put any effort into the phone call, almost like she could throw me away and not care.
I called her up today because she is on a girls holiday for 3 days and I thought she would like to be called half-way through. Because she is often the attention needing kind of person I thought this would go well, but at the end of this call I feel weird. I don't want to ask her directly about this because it will definately look like I am being over-complicated or stressful or weird about things. I myself am not needy in phone calls and would have happily let her have her holiday and just see her when she returns back here.
I guess in summary, I felt like I was doing something I thought she would like, but her almost (but not quite - borderline) rudeness (but not really, just not very engaging with the conversation) of how she spoke to me on the phone, it makes me feel weird. She did ask me how I am doing. I just also felt like she had a shield put up. or something. Maybe I just wish she had more care about our relationship to at least put on an excited and engaging tone of voice for me when I call. Maybe I'm weird and needy, I don't know. Maybe she was just tired or not in the mood for talking. I don't know, but I do know I feel weird now.
Why are relationships so weird? Thoughts?
My girlfriend (of one year) is an emotional/drama type. She is 29 years old,I am 34. I don't mind this as long as I know how I can handle it well myself without getting drawn into the negative or dramatic feelings. She confuses me sometimes because on many occasions she can be a girl that needs a lot of attention, for example if Im away she NEEDS to be called at least once per 3 days. She has admitted, and we have joked about, her need for attention. She's usually talkative.
Then again, sometimes I call her, like today, and she is mainly silent on the phone. I ask her interested questions about what she is doing and she responds with abrupt 1-3 word, minimal, answers that convey very little information except what is scientifically required to answer my question. Also, her tone of voice is not engaging (not nasty, but makes me feel wierd to be on the phone). A part of me is telling myself that it's disrespectful for my girlfriend to be carrying out a conversation with me in that manner, only giving short and minimalistic answers to my questions. It's like she doesn't feel like she should put any effort into the phone call, almost like she could throw me away and not care.
I called her up today because she is on a girls holiday for 3 days and I thought she would like to be called half-way through. Because she is often the attention needing kind of person I thought this would go well, but at the end of this call I feel weird. I don't want to ask her directly about this because it will definately look like I am being over-complicated or stressful or weird about things. I myself am not needy in phone calls and would have happily let her have her holiday and just see her when she returns back here.
I guess in summary, I felt like I was doing something I thought she would like, but her almost (but not quite - borderline) rudeness (but not really, just not very engaging with the conversation) of how she spoke to me on the phone, it makes me feel weird. She did ask me how I am doing. I just also felt like she had a shield put up. or something. Maybe I just wish she had more care about our relationship to at least put on an excited and engaging tone of voice for me when I call. Maybe I'm weird and needy, I don't know. Maybe she was just tired or not in the mood for talking. I don't know, but I do know I feel weird now.
Why are relationships so weird? Thoughts?
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