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Broke up every possible contact there is with a woman, even though...

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MillionaireMatch

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  • Broke up every possible contact there is with a woman, even though...

    she is in a 6 year old relationship with her boyfriend. And they both live together in a house with his aunt and his Mum.
    I've met her on the 2nd or 3rd January of 2018, she added me on Facebook, but her face seemed very familiar to me, as I've seen her somewhere around my city, I'm 100% I did, but couldn't recall the place or pub, either. However, I've messaged her, and said: "do I happen to know you? Because you seem very familiar to me." And that's where it all started.
    We started to flirt a bit afterwards, took us, I'd say maybe 10 days or so, until she opened herself to me, like; "you're a great guy, never seen anyone like you before, there's something unique about you, I like talking to you, you make me feel nice" etc.. I appreciated her honesty, her sweet words, as I started to push myself more to her, feelings wise. But then she told me that she's in a relationship with a man, in a 6 year relationship.
    I felt, you know, very weird this feeling I've had in my gut, I've faked my reaction, and said: "Oh, I'm not surprised at all, but then again, is it just me or did we started to flirt recently, knowing the fact you're taken?"
    She seemed very confused and said like: "This shouldn't have happened, I'm already starting to fall for you. I shouldn't have done this."
    Eventually she got over it, somehow, and wanted to remain friends with me afterwards, but she just couldn't stop flirting with me knowing what her request was in the end, as she just couldn't stop being cheeky, flirty, witty with me, etc..
    Then after a month of knowing her, we eventually met, she had a hard time looking at me, so she just looked at the ground, smiling, I felt her happiness, I felt her warmth, and then she told me that she has to go back home.
    After our first meeting, eventually we would meet up for a cuppa together, then we would go somewhere where it's just me and her, and yeah, we started to kiss and everything, and thank God I didn't end up having sex with her, even though I wanted it really bad, but then again, I did not push her, neither pressured her.
    She started to fall in love with me, I can't say the same for myself, I did had amazing feelings for her, but it took me really a while to fall in love with her.
    So, this is where everything went wrong. We've stopped talking on the 1st May, before she told me: "I want to be with you, I want to find an apartment with you, I want to have children with you in the near future, I want to do everything with you." and I'm like: "Everything will make sense, when you first break up with your current boyfriend, and then we can talk about these things. I just don't want to end up hurting myself. So, if you love me like you claim, you'll break up with him, and choose me, but then again, there's a feeling in my gut that you may do the same thing to me, the things you are doing to your boyfriend, behind his back right now. You are cheating, you know that. So, time will tell, whether you've told me the truth or not."
    What happened afterwards? I do nothing but having phone calls with her, I write to her on WhatsApp, that's all I did, and I only get to see her 2 or 3 times a month, which was very frustrating for me. I told her: "I can't go on like this anymore, I do want you so bad, but me and being limitless and only seeing you twice a month is literally a torment for me, why can't you just break up with him immediately?" And then she said: "I can't at the moment, just give me some time, give me at least two more months, until July or August" and I'm like: "Are you *censored* crazy? Are you hearing yourself right now? You srsly want me to wait 2 to 3 more months so I can be with you? Have you ever thought about me? My feelings and all this? Have you gone mad, or something? Don't you understand that all this waiting is killing me?"
    Then we started to argue a lot, as she's trying to be egocentric or just way too narcissistic and actually not paying attention to the words that are coming out of my mouth. Like, she never said: "Yes, I understand you, yes I will do that, I will do this, you're so right. I will fight for you, I will fight for us." she never said these things, she never agreed with me regarding this. She, instead would say: "Oh, so you're leaving me now? I bet there's another woman involved in your life then? Go to her then, leave me all alone, I hate men, I hate all of you, you're all the same, go to that BITCH" and I'm like with my mouth wide open: "what the actual...Hell? Are you okay? You hearing yoruself now?"
    She thought I "cheated" on her, which is quite ironic and funny for a woman to say that, when she was the one who cheated, but of course, I did just as bad. We stopped talking, she wrote me on WhatsApp a few days ago, asking me for a horror film to watch, then we started to talk about us and what happened this year.
    She said that she doesn't have any feelings for me anymore, she told me that she doesn't love me anymore, so she's over it. But before this I've asked her: "well, you always wanted to leave your boyfriend, and you've told me that you're not happy with him for a LONG time by now, so, are you single by now?" She said: "No, I'm still with him, but I don't pay any attention to him at all." So then, I asked her: "If you ever leave him, would you ever go back to me and actually have a normal, proper relationship?" She said: "Adje, this is over, you've left me, you've made your decision."
    And this is where I wished her a farewell, and all the best in this world.
    The end of this story is, and my question would be; Did she played with me? Did she pulled strings on me? I regret ever showing any feelings to her, because I've never been in this type of situation before, but it does feel as she did nothing but played around with me. I do feel like a victim, I seriously wanted to take it to another level with her, but I've had to wait 5 freaking months for her to break up with her boyfriend. Ye, I know, I'm dumb, retarded for even waiting that much, but guess I fell into her trap.
    Last edited by Adje; 09-09-2018, 03:00 PM.

  • #2
    She was never in love with you, but only infatuated. She had strong attraction for you initially and now the chemistry is no longer there, hence she decided to leave you. So, I will advice you move on with grace.

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    • #3
      Adje, I'll say you made a mistake by dating a girl who has a boyfriend. You knew quite well that she has a boyfriend but still stick around, this act made you look desperate. This act of desperation in you made her lost attraction for you. Moreover, nobody is attracted to someone who is desperate, hence this killed her attraction for you.

      So, I will say she used you to fulfill her emotional needs and dumped you. Now, it's time to move on and learn from your mistake never to date a girl who has a boyfriend.

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      • #4

        You've been played. She used you for the attention. Maybe she was infatuated with you in the beginning, but I think she never intended to be with you in the first place. Move on, this is for the better. She is not a girl you want to be in a relationship with anyway. Like you said: she would do the same to you. Break contact and rip the bandage off. If I were you, I'd tell her boyfriend all about it. She has to learn that she can't do this and get away with it so easily. That way you help yourself by burning the bridge with her and you help her boyfriend to face the truth: that she is either a very unreliable girl, or/and that the relationship is just not working. She has been playing with your feelings the whole time man, it's just cruel. Maybe you don't see it like that yet because you still have feelings for her. Waiting for another few months? That's just ridiculous. Scr*w her (figuratively): she should reap what she sows. Good luck!

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