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Hi guys,
So I'm in a relationship with a guy I really love and see a future with, but I need some help.
I met him over a year ago through Snapchat, where we began talking. But we kind of got off on the wrong foot... I didn't think I would ever meet him irl and he was cute so I started sexting him, which was not something I have ever even done before. And then after a while we started developing actual interest in each other and getting to know each other for real. We met up a couple times, etc and then he decided to end it in December. I had met him the month after his mother died and he was going through a lot and he said he needed people in his life who actually cared. I sent him an email and explained that I did care about him and that i was willing to be there for him and meant it for real, and that's kind of when we realized that we meant this. So we started a relationship, and everything has been going really great. We have the same goals for the future, he has values and morals similar to mine, we enjoy doing the same things and I genuinely enjoy his company, even just sitting and doing nothing with him feels nice. We have just started seeing each other once a week which is a record for us since we have not always been able to see each other consistently. But there are things that are starting to worry me a little. I don't know if this is bc of my anxiety acting up, but we'll see. He wants to be famous in order to be successful at business, one of which area being fashion, He follows a lot of random girls on Instagram, which kind of worries me even though he doesn't comment on their pictures, and the comments and likes he gets on his pics are mostly guys. He also seems to be generally a little self centered at times, he admits he can get manipulative when upset, and sometimes when I'm upset he turns it into something about himself. He's always open about his phone and checks it in plain view of me, but I notice he has a lot of girls in his chats. I asked him about it and he said lots of women want to know "what he's doing" in life but he assured me he tells them he has a girlfriend and that it's okay. He always tells me about his day, he prefers staying home to partying, and he mostly hangs out with his cousins who live in the area. His snap map is always on so I can see where he is and it's mostly work and home. But I feel that he puts low effort into our relationship. He texts me about every day, but he doesn't call when he says he's going to, and sometimes I get sad he doesn't compliment me much even though I know communication isn't his strong suit and that he shows love other ways not through words. Maybe it's the fact that we usually talk through text, because I do show love through words but he is more of an action person. When I visit him he is very cuddly so I think that's more how he rolls. He also says he's a high maintenance person and can be critical of his partner. These things seem to me like possible signs he could cheat? I do trust him now but down the road when the honeymoon stage ends and his need for mental stimulation is not satisfied, will his need for high maintenance not draw him away from me and possibly to someone new who can provide him with the same?
I'm really conflicted about everything recently. He have decided to chill for now and take things slow and get to know each other more now and we've agreed to check back at the end of October to see how we're doing. I feel bad accusing him of not wanting to be in this relationship because I know his life is really stressful. He has to work long hours everyday to pay the bills and he has his own anxiety and things in life to worry about. We've come a long way since I've known him, and he definitely cares more than he used to, so I don't know if it's just a matter of taking time and sticking with it while we work on spending more time together and stuff. That's why we've set the October timetable. But I could really use some other views...
Thanks.
Let me know if I should elaborate on other things...
So I'm in a relationship with a guy I really love and see a future with, but I need some help.
I met him over a year ago through Snapchat, where we began talking. But we kind of got off on the wrong foot... I didn't think I would ever meet him irl and he was cute so I started sexting him, which was not something I have ever even done before. And then after a while we started developing actual interest in each other and getting to know each other for real. We met up a couple times, etc and then he decided to end it in December. I had met him the month after his mother died and he was going through a lot and he said he needed people in his life who actually cared. I sent him an email and explained that I did care about him and that i was willing to be there for him and meant it for real, and that's kind of when we realized that we meant this. So we started a relationship, and everything has been going really great. We have the same goals for the future, he has values and morals similar to mine, we enjoy doing the same things and I genuinely enjoy his company, even just sitting and doing nothing with him feels nice. We have just started seeing each other once a week which is a record for us since we have not always been able to see each other consistently. But there are things that are starting to worry me a little. I don't know if this is bc of my anxiety acting up, but we'll see. He wants to be famous in order to be successful at business, one of which area being fashion, He follows a lot of random girls on Instagram, which kind of worries me even though he doesn't comment on their pictures, and the comments and likes he gets on his pics are mostly guys. He also seems to be generally a little self centered at times, he admits he can get manipulative when upset, and sometimes when I'm upset he turns it into something about himself. He's always open about his phone and checks it in plain view of me, but I notice he has a lot of girls in his chats. I asked him about it and he said lots of women want to know "what he's doing" in life but he assured me he tells them he has a girlfriend and that it's okay. He always tells me about his day, he prefers staying home to partying, and he mostly hangs out with his cousins who live in the area. His snap map is always on so I can see where he is and it's mostly work and home. But I feel that he puts low effort into our relationship. He texts me about every day, but he doesn't call when he says he's going to, and sometimes I get sad he doesn't compliment me much even though I know communication isn't his strong suit and that he shows love other ways not through words. Maybe it's the fact that we usually talk through text, because I do show love through words but he is more of an action person. When I visit him he is very cuddly so I think that's more how he rolls. He also says he's a high maintenance person and can be critical of his partner. These things seem to me like possible signs he could cheat? I do trust him now but down the road when the honeymoon stage ends and his need for mental stimulation is not satisfied, will his need for high maintenance not draw him away from me and possibly to someone new who can provide him with the same?
I'm really conflicted about everything recently. He have decided to chill for now and take things slow and get to know each other more now and we've agreed to check back at the end of October to see how we're doing. I feel bad accusing him of not wanting to be in this relationship because I know his life is really stressful. He has to work long hours everyday to pay the bills and he has his own anxiety and things in life to worry about. We've come a long way since I've known him, and he definitely cares more than he used to, so I don't know if it's just a matter of taking time and sticking with it while we work on spending more time together and stuff. That's why we've set the October timetable. But I could really use some other views...
Thanks.
Let me know if I should elaborate on other things...
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