Lie unravels 8 years later

[Lost22]

Last weekend as I was going through old photos on our desktop computer I came across photos from a work vegas trip my husband attended 8 years ago (we were dating for 5 years at that time). The photos contained him and another woman whom I had never seen in my life. The photos were of them in an exotic car, shopping, having dinner and at a club. I was completely devastated. I recall when he got home from that trip asking who took photos of him and the car and he advised people off the street. I naively believed him as I have always had complete trust in him. Well that was an obvious lie! I immediately questioned him and he advised that he ran into an acquaintance (a waitress from a restaurant he frequented at the time) in the hotel lobby and they spent the day together and swears up and down that nothing happened. I don't know what to believe and am more disturbed that he thought it was ok to spend a day with a woman and not mention this to me. If he had told me this at that time I would have probably left him as I zero tolerance for this type of behavior (cheating or no cheating). We have been together for 14 years (married for 4) and have never had a situation like this. We have always had a great, strong and healthy relationship. I am in complete shambles over this and am now questioning our entire relationship. I can't believe he would lie to my face all those years ago and betray me like this. I do not know if I can ever trust him completely again. I have arranged for us to see a marriage counselor next week as I do not know how to cope with this. What do you all think? Am I overreacting? I can't talk to any of my friends or family about this as I am completely embarrassed. I am so lost....

[Olivia]

I think you are overreacting, as this is something that happened 8 years ago. It's best to forget about it, and let the past be in the past. Don't let the past destroy your present relationship.

You also have a past, and it won't be fair if your husband begin to use your past again you. So, let go of the past.

[Brett]

He has told you nothing happened between him and the woman, believe it and move on. If something actually happened between them, he would have admitted since it happened in the past.

He obviously lied because he didn't tell you about hanging out with a woman during the trip. However, this happen a long time ago, so don't deliberate on the past but move on with the present.