Still Shaky After Almost 3 Years! All Advice is Welcomed....

[LonelyNLove98.5]

[WARNING: This is my first forum blog so please bare with me. This is a lot of information but I drastically need insight and advice.]

My boyfriend, Bo, is a blessing from the skies in my opinion. He actually saved me from a deadly spiral I was following in my life and is working with me to become a better person. There's no doubt that Bo loves me with all his heart, but the way he gives me advice sometimes seems like a dad getting on to his child. Maybe I am taking it too personal instead of trying to figure out why he's saying what he is but at times, it just comes out too harsh in my opinion. He states that I don't know him like I should after 3 years of leaving together. Granted, I wait on his actions before I respond or do anything for him because he's different from the previous guys I've dated. He doesn't like being loved in the same manner so I am unsure as to how to love him since this is how I show affection for all my partners. Bo feels that I should already know how he will act or respond in certain situations if I truly loved him. Therefore, I do not love him since I haven't paid enough attention to know him.

Dyslexia runs in my family and I have dyslexic tendencies that drive him CRAZY! I sometimes switch letters and words when thinking faster than I'm speaking. I also start speaking where my mind/thoughts left off. It's hard to explain but it's like I start with the precedent instead of the subject first (for those grammar folks out there). He doesn't like that I can't stop my thoughts and speak starting with the subject. This is difficult for me because my mind is constantly racing and yes I have conversations with myself. When I speak out, I start where I left off so the listener sometimes has no clue what I am talking about. BUT Bo is the only person that doesn't get it. I don't have communication issues with ANYONE ELSE but Bo.

I kind of feel bad because he chased me for a whole year before I took him serious and during that year, I was cheating on him and talking to other fellows. I suddenly cut everybody off and got an apartment with Bo. We have been together ever since (going on 3 years Oct 2018). I love him in my eyes, but his main point in our arguments is that I don't love him and that's why we don't see eye-to-eye. When Bo and I first met, he literally had nothing (no car, lousy housing) and we worked our way up together. I built him up but I feel like I contribute nothing to him. Why would you be with someone that doesn't make you better? I don't know people. I'm stuck as to if I need to move on or if I should stay and quit being a punk about everything.


LonelyNLove98.5

[Rachael]

I will suggest you pay attention to his behavior and start observing how he acts and behaves. Since he believes that you don't love him because you can't tell what he needs, then you need to do everything possible to know him well.

Realize that he's a different person and not like any other guy you have dated before. So, make it a point to find out details about his way of acting. Also, you can ask him questions about himself if you need to.

[Nate]

One of the most important things to consider when you want to make him feel you really love him is his feelings. Some guys are just not into public displays of affection and get uncomfortable when this occurs around their friends or their family members. You should learn to pick up on his signals and try not to do anything that might make him uncomfortable when you are around other people. A quick hug or holding his hand might be fine for some guys but sitting on his lap and kissing him might be out of the question for others. Know how to read your guy so that you do not embarrass him.

Follow his lead.

You also need to make sure that you are not rushing him. Showing his some patience and understanding is a great way to let him know that you care. He might want to take the relationship slowly and if that is what he wants then you should abide by these wishes or else risk pushing him away. If he asks you to meet his family then take it as a cue to introduce him to yours. Just don't push him into something that he might not
be ready for.

Don't let it all spill too quickly.

Lastly, although it can be difficult when you are in love, try to hold back as far as your feelings go. You might want to make him feel you really love him but you don't want to say it too soon and create an awkward situation for the both of you. Instead, wait a little while until both of you have had the opportunity to get to know one another and develop real emotions toward one another.

[LonelyNLove98.5]

We've been living together for the past 3 years. I have had more than enough time to feel this guy out, but is it too late to fix it? I'm unhappily depressed and feel like the relationship isn't going anywhere at this point.