Are we just friends and how I do take it to the next step?

[Dnmr91]

I (28) have a friend (27) we have not spoken properly in about 6 years; we have some history (almost hooked up). 2 years ago we got in contact and he drunkenly asked me to sleep with him, I kindly rejected him we lost contact when got into a relationship; but he did send me occasional picture messages.

We recently got into contact again after he broke up with his girlfriend; it started off as little messages here and there. I teased him a little bit and told him that I was not impressed with him drunk messaging me for sex, he admitted that he lied and was trying to flirt with me but was embarrassed as I didn’t respond so he used being drunk as an excuse. We continued to message each other and do flirt quite a bit, but as we live in different towns (3 hour distance) we haven’t met up. I went to visit his home town and we planned to meet up but he cancelled on me last minute as he had a family commitment, I was annoyed and my friends have told me a him off.

He has since apologised and said that he would be visiting my town. We have been messaging almost every day for 3 months. I am a bit worried that he might be contacting me because he may be bored or he might be looking for a rebound. I really do like him and would like to start something with him but I am not quite sure how to or if I should approach the situation. Any thoughts how I could take the next step?

[Ben]

You shouldn't be the one to take it to the next level. He should be the one to take the relationship to the next level. Allow him do the work in the relationship, and he'll value you more.

Investing too much at the beginning of a relationship as a girl is going to make you lose your self-worth. So, don't attempt doing it.

[Julia]

Turn on the female charm. You and your friend have probably spent a lot of time together by now and are used to conversing together. But have you tried flirting with him yet? It's possible that at first he will think that you are only teasing him, but eventually he will have to respond. Chances are he has secretly always wondered if you find him attractive and he will be flattered to find out that you are. He will see you in a different light and if he hasn't already before, he will start to wonder what dating you would be like

[chillboy]

It seems like you have found a nice guy! Show him that you are a bit interested in him but don't be too obvious.

[Dnmr91]

What do you mean by not being too obvious? I’m terrible with understanding this.

[Dnmr91]

You shouldn't be the one to take it to the next level. He should be the one to take the relationship to the next level. Allow him do the work in the relationship, and he'll value you more.

Investing too much at the beginning of a relationship as a girl is going to make you lose your self-worth. So, don't attempt doing it.

What do you think I should do in this case, I get the sense that he is holding back but I am not sure why. I am thinking maybe I need to give him something to get him to make a move?

[Dnmr91]

Turn on the female charm. You and your friend have probably spent a lot of time together by now and are used to conversing together. But have you tried flirting with him yet? It's possible that at first he will think that you are only teasing him, but eventually he will have to respond. Chances are he has secretly always wondered if you find him attractive and he will be flattered to find out that you are. He will see you in a different light and if he hasn't already before, he will start to wonder what dating you would be like

I have just started flirting with him, telling him he looks goods and he has responded very positively, he told he thinks I’m attractive. I was teasing him just to test the waters as I was a little scared he may reject me.
I do hope he starts to wonder, I would like to flirt more overtly but I worry that he may think I’m not being serious.