Is it bad when a guy masturbates while in a relationship?

[anonymouslysad]

Last month, I found out that my boyfriend was masturbating to girls on Instagram. They were girls that we graduated high school with, or just simply went to school with. When I found out I was very upset because I don't know why he felt the need to do that to other girls when he had 300+ nudes of me on his phone. He cried to me and said he never meant to hurt me and that it wasn't me, it was him. I decided to give our relationship another try because I care about him a lot and we've been together for 4 years, I just don't understand why after 4 years he decided to do something like that. Everything was going good and it felt perfect again, he told me he wanted our relationship and didn't want to lose me so he got rid of Instagram and we stayed together. But then today, I went to his house to see him before I went to class, and when he saw me he looked a bit nervous. He wasn't doing anything bad, he was just sitting at his desk. He said he was surprised to see me, which is understandable because I did show up unannounced. But I felt something was off, then I noticed a roll of toilet paper on his bed and I instantly started crying and said are you doing it again? And he was like "what no, I was using it for my nose I swear I wasn't doing it again." It took me a while to believe him, but he still looked nervous, very. My intuition told me to look at his phone, so I did. Before I did though, I asked him, is there anything in here that I should know about before I look? And he said no, there isn't. I went on his facebook, and his recent searches showed another girl we graduated high school with. I was furious because he said he would never do it again. He told me that he promised he didn't touch himself to her, he was just looking. I don't know if I believe that, but I was just upset because, after everything that happened last month, he still looked up another girl. Then I looked into his google history to see that he was searching for nude celebrities or something like that. So he lied to me and said that he didn't masturbate, but then he said that he did last night. I don't understand why he keeps lying to me, I feel like it's because he doesn't want to hurt me, but it hurts more when I found out after he lied to me. I feel like he did masturbate to that girl that he looked up on facebook, he just didn't want to tell me. I don't know if I should break up with him, or stay with him. I love him very much but I don't know why he keeps doing things that he knows are going to hurt me. I need advice, I don't have anyone to talk to. Thank you.

[Bradwin]

Your boyfriend masturbating has nothing to do with how much he loves you, or even with how much sex you’re having.

Unless it’s interfering with how much sex you want to have, you really shouldn’t be concerned about it.

[Ashley]

See as it is known that

“Necessity is the mother of innovation”


Similarly


“Frustration is the father of masturbation”

So your partner isn't doing any crime but practising what's the natural way to drive out stress, frustration, anxiety or whatsoever.

Well as far as reaction is concerned, according to Sir Issac Newton

“Every action has an equal and opposite reaction”

So now you know, one of the best way to react

[smackie9]

People masturbate, have fantasies about other people or different sexual acts, even when married/in a relaitonship....all normal. Variety is the spice of life, and that is why men, and even women will masturbate to porn, etc because it's a different feel, an extension of sexual pleasure. IMO a person's personal pleasuring is personal and none of your business. . Bradwin's post is spot on.

If you don't like it then dump him. Best of luck finding a guy that doesn't

[richey]

is masturbation in and of itself a bad thing? no. its' very natural. partner "timing" for sex isn't always aligned so there will be times.
masturbating to other girls and especially young girls? yes that can be a problem. if he's having problems cumming with you and he "needs" to see erotic images of young girls specficially to get off - that can be a problem. if he's masturbating to celebrities - that's not as big of a deal - we al have our fantasy crushes that are harmless (will never happen or act upon). its more dangerous if he's masturvating to the neighbor or a psychotic fetish like young children or other abnormal urges.

As far as "why is he lying to you?" Simple. He gets in trouble and you act like he's the devil for masturbating when it is COMPLETELY natural. Nobody should be subdued from this natural and harmless act. Infact, hell.. use it to help your bedroom together and have him do so in front of you.. or you can both do it together or... etc.

For the same reason a 3 or 4 yr old would like about the cookie they just stole when mommy asks - this s why he won't admit to masturbating when you ask. LET him do it. encourage it. Support him. Offer to help him (if he helps you back or helps satisfy you back). Just set ground rules like - he can't be doing it to other people you both know as that hurts you - but anonymouse celebrities.. that's fine. And no weird fetishes like young children or violent stuff.

good luck

[bunnyhabit]

masturbating for others is cheating on you. he should only share his sperm with you if in true loving relationship