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Narcissism?

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MillionaireMatch

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  • Narcissism?

    I need some help deciphering some behavior:

    My boyfriend has two ex fiances, apparently because at least one of them cheated on him and I don't know the rest but because of it he has some trust issues and anxieties which I can understand, and he also generally overthinks things sometimes.
    We broke up last December after being kind of casual since that July because I didn't know him very well then and his mother had just passed away and it was kind of complicated. But we got back together 2 weeks afterwards and we've been really happy but a week ago or so he told me he wanted to break up, and it was really abrupt because he had been saying nice things to me and acting quite normal over text just before, and he wouldn't really offer any explanation, basically just that he didn't want to be in the relationship anymore. He said that he thinks I'm a good person and that he's a shitty person and he mentioned his trust issues, he said he didn't "like me like that." It really felt like he just randomly decided to ditch me. But we didn't really break up because I told him that I'm willing to be here for him and work with him through his issues and go at his own pace, etc. And he saw my messages but didn't respond and a week later he posted something on his twitter about his soulmate being out there somewhere which kinda hurt me. so that same day I wrote to him and he said he wanted to hang out and he spent the whole day texting me sweet things and saying being with me makes him happy and that he wants us to work on being more comfortable around each other, and I asked him about the difference and he said it's because he was letting his feelings come out and not overthinking. He admits to expecting a lot from his partner sometimes and sometimes when I'm upset he changes the issue into something about himself. He doesn't seem to exhibit any other narcissistic tendencies as he is hardworking, able to admit his flaws, etc the only thing is that he sometimes disregards my feelings completely.

    I just have anxieties that this is some kind of abusive/narcissistic behavior, this strange change in his manner abruptly. I don't want to think so of him bc we both agree we have something lasting between us and we've been working hard to see each other and put an effort into this relationship. I don't know if he's just freaking out about being close to and trusting someone again? I feel kind of used but is that not just a repercussion of his anxiety opening up?
    Last edited by starlight; 10-01-2018, 12:37 AM.

  • #2
    I think you boyfriend is overly jealous and controlling and hence he has trust issues. His trust issues isn't about an ex that cheated on him but about him being too jealous. So, if you know you can cope with a guy who is jealous then go ahead with the relationship, otherwise you might want to consider quitting.

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    • #3
      I will suggest your boyfriend consult a counselor. This will help him overcome his trust issues.

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      • #4

        Thanks guys!

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