Why is she doing this? What can I do?

[GoForItAll]

I do not know where to start, I’ll also do point form since there’s a lot of info.

-Both mid 20’s
-Been in our fair share of arguements (I’ve caused a lot of them because of the games she plays)
-Straight dresses like a slut. I feel like she’s cheating on me.
-We agreed we both want to be together but it feels off. She is becoming more distant.
-I made the mistake of using emotion over logic. I’ve come across as desperate and needy, many a time. I am now doing the opposite to show her I can be happy myself and without her. Though it would kill me to loose her.
-She is very mature, never complains (in a whiney’ way)
-She is the woman I want.

The BEST way to put it is: SOMETIMES SHE FEELS LIKE A REALLY GOOD FRIEND- OTHER TIMES SHE FEELS LIKE MY WIFE (the way I want it eventually)

Down to the sex part of things

-She doesn’t use tongue at all when we kiss. Maybe a little bit here and there and that’s when I initiate it.
-She never goes down on me. I use to go down on her every time and I know she likes it because she asks me to do it. I stopped doing it and since then she’s asked I went for 10 seconds.
-When I ask for head (only time she will give me a blowjob) she will do it perfectly but only for 10 seconds. So I reciprocated... I’m very hygenine oriented, and know it’s not something like that.
-It bothers me because I’ve brought up during arguements ex’s as she has too. She once said, “what do you want to know how many guys dicks I’ve sucked”? This was in reply to something mean I said that was very similar.

-Her sex drive or for me has gone to none. I have to ask her.
-I AM ASSUMING it is because when we do have sex I never finish, I take forever, it’s because it happened a few times so now I have this ‘performance anxiety’ and tell myself I need to finish.
-We have not talked about this, I want to but it’d be random if I didn’t bring it up in the moment or at least during a proper time. She probably THINKS it’s her when it’s not.
-We say I love you, but almost most calls end in a bye.
-There feels something off. She was really into me and I got really desperate and clingy, emotions got the best of me.
-I always think she’s cheating on me. Always think the worst.
-Becoming more distant but I am also doing the things I need to do to show her I can be happy and have a life without her.

[richey]

wait wait wait.. you are making ZERO sense. "she dressed like a straigt slut and is probably cheating on me" and all your fights are in response to "the games she plays" - yet she's "very mature" and "the woman you can't stand to lose"? You SEE how you are LYING to yourself with 1/2 those proclamations right? And i think you know which ones are the lies to yourself.

as far as the sex part. No, from the context of everything I've heard - your bedroom is sapped of any life and passion and that's why she's not interested in it anymore. Hell, you can't even cum either (you probably used to just fine).

right now the pleasntries are "by habit" and "to be polite". this relatioship has tanked and her interest level is not there anymore. So it either has to be re-kindled by remembering HOW you started and what make you guys hot for each other to begin with - and "start dating again" instead of acting like an old couple already tired of each other (which is what you are). You're punishing her in bed by not going down, she'd doing the same to you. Somebody has to "take it for the team" and demonstrate they're ewilling to do because they want to for the other - and thus hopefully make that other person want to give back again. Until that happens - there's no use continuing with this. And even if you try - it might be too late already and should've been tried way earlier to save this.

Good luck