intimacy problems

[stphn8or]

My boyfriend and I have been together for six years now. Lately our intimacy levels have gone way down. I want to have sex all the time and have tried everything to spice up our love life. But he hardly ever wants sex and he barely even touches me other wise. I have recently found out that he looks at porn all the time when I'm not around. He doesn't know that I know about the porn. Should I tell talk to him about the porn and why he looks at it all the time instead being intimate with me.

[Shirley]

Let's be honest, sex is powerful stuff and an important force in life. It has the power to consummate and strengthen a relationship or destroy it. The various interpretations of what is proper and what's not have lead to many misrepresentations of sex. Sexual desires are something we need to understand and channel properly to optimize the rewards.

Sex is erotic energy. It's much more than an act. It's a vital part of living. We've become so disconnected from our bodies, hearts, souls, spirits, one another and the Divine; thus losing touch with many pleasures and experiences life has to offer. Sex is one of the most wonderful experiences of human life. This is the life force of Creation itself. This is Divine energy especially when used intelligently and channeled into love, romance and creative pursuits that add to the beauty and abundance of life.

Many people have been in a relationship that was both emotionally and sexually fulfilling, and then they started to realize that their sex life started to fade and become dull, monotonous, and hurried. They may have also felt frustrated trying to juggle many responsibilities, as well as keeping their spirits up, and when they get to their bedroom at night, the last thing on their mind is having sex with their spouse or partner.

Sometimes Sex is done out of guilt and obligation rather than for fun, relaxation and the pleasure that one receives from it. Other times, someone might have sex just to stop a nagging, scolding partner only confusing his/her daily stresses with the lack of love, care and passion. Often times, those feelings will build up and fester slowly to become resentment and plain rebellion against all those things that brought them together in the first place.

Some might feel deprived in what might be a sexless relationship, and they struggle trying to understand or come up with an explanation to the lack of intimacy in their relationship, and they find themselves either living an unhappy sex life or seek outside the relationship for fulfillment.

Many couples try to work things out on your own, but soon fall victim to the same exhausting life style that got them there in the first place. Unfortunately, after a couple of tries many couples find themselves separating, getting a divorce, or staying in a marriage with very little sexual satisfaction.

People who have repressed sexuality are most often affected in other areas of their lives. It is hard to be joyful about watching a sunset or kittens at play if you aren't joyful about your life. By breathing life into one, you breathe life into all of it.

The desire for sexual expression is inborn and natural. It is vital to embrace this beautiful, natural and expressive side of us. It is just one of the many multi-faceted ways Divine energy is expressed. This is contrary to how many of us have been taught or learned about sex.

Have you ever considered using a sex coach? Sex coaches can teach you and your partner how to improve your communication with one another, how to filter out the extraneous noise in your life and give you a healthier and more rewarding sexual expression. A healthy sex life has a positive impact upon all areas of your lives including your family, work, colleagues and friends. As a part of a happy couple, an individual will experience greater self-esteem and renewed pleasure.

You deserve the best life has to offer and that includes a beautiful and wonderful sex life!

[sergio99]

My wife and I have been married for 25 years. In the past I thought we had great sex. Now things have gone downhill. I have a very high sex drive. My wife's drive was once high but has continued to drop. She says I am not romantic outside the bedroom and not very loving towards her during sex even though I make her orgasm every time. She doesn't turn me down for sex but things have become vanilla, boring, less passionate and less frequent in bed. I've come to resent this. Talking about it just leads to arguments and blame. Outside the bedroom there is no touch or anything. It's like we are roommates who have sex and then do our separate things. I don't know exactly what to do to get back what we had 25 years ago. Stresses of life have been an issue, especially dealing with a teenage son. We are getting deeper in a rut and I'm afraid we are about to give up making any positive change. What do I do?

[Gray]

Depends on the dynamics of your relationship. In most cases, I’d say no, but there are some who think that their significant other should not be viewing porn. So ultimately it depends on what you and your significant other discuss.

If you’ve yet to have this discussion with your significant other but watch porn, you can do like most do. Simply keep it to yourself and don’t do it when they’re around. Truth be told, if the girl I was dating/married to didn’t agree with me watching porn, I’d understand but ultimately I’d take steps to ensure she didn’t know I watch porn.
If asked, I’d answer honestly. I would also continue by saying “I’ve never stopped watching porn and I’ve never lost eyes for you.” Because that’s the thing, many think that their significant other watches porn because they’re not attracted or desirable of your significant other. The truth of the matter is that I’m a guy, and even if you unhesitantly gave me the exact type of sex I wanted every single time I wanted it, there are still some days where I simply want to use my hand. Nothing personal, just me being a simple guy.

Is it wrong for a boyfriend to watch porn? Depends on each specific relationship.