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I wish I could make this short but the situation is 6+ years in the making. I'm 16 years older than my bf. We have been together over 6 years. He was 24 when we got together. Within the first year his ex had his kid, which she told him she couldn't have kids, his step father passed and 6 months later his mother. I am and always have been the nurturing type so I didn't push issues in our relationship, primarily finances. After about a year he got a decent job and was contributing his share to the bills. About 2-1/2 years later, out of the blue he said he was moving out and went to stay with his grandparents, that didn't last long. He had quit his job and about 3 months later slowly moved back in. About 6 months later, 4 years into relationship, we moved into a new smaller place together to be more cost effective. In the meantime he would work odd jobs here and there and would contribute but minimally. Once into the new place about 3 months later he moved to grandmas again. Again, this only lasted a couple months and we never went more than a week not seeing each other and that only happened once. While he was at Grandmas though he blocked me from his fb. Since he has been back almost 2 years now, he has not unblocked me and has only held down a regular steady job for 7 months. During those 7 months he contributed regularly no problem. Back in June of this year I lost my job of 15 years and have taken this opportunity to try and start my own businesses, it' been a struggle and inconsistent but I've been hanging in there. 6 weeks after I lost my job he quit his, his boss was an ass, he really was but not worth not having work over. I told him at that time he needed to keep contributing a specific amount each week he said no problem. Since then he hasn't even contributed a quarter of his half and now he is complaining to me that I need to get a job. I work almost everyday, it's just not as profitable as it needs to be yet. From August until the last 3 weeks he didn't work at all and in the last 3 weeks is when he finally contributed the small amount I mentioned. Now out of the blue he is accusing me of cheating and being self righteous. Self righteous because I used a credit card to buy us a new tent and he said why does he need to contribute if I can buy things and he doesn't have money to do for himself. I do not have any addictions that cost me money on a daily basis. He smokes cigarettes, weed daily and drinks beer regularly. Adding up to about $700/month. I explained this to him and he did not want to hear what he spends money on or what his share of the bills are and why. I have not and will not ever cheat on him. I love him and respect him. we are 6+ years into this relationship and if I knew this is how things were going to be I don't think I would've invested this much time. Since I have though what are the odds of him growing up or is this just how he's going to be? I know no one knows for sure but is this common, am I a fool being taken advantage of? We both intermingle with each others family, we don't leave separate lives and just live together. Our holidays are spent together with each others family. If anyone has thoughts or questions to dig deeper please tell me or ask. My heart runs deep and ending this will not be easy but we're hanging by a thread, do I burn it off or keep trying to mend it?
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