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Hello everyone, new here and looking for advice please in the best way to deal with let’s say my “ situation “. I contacted an ex after ten years to apologise for the way I treated him I guess all those years back . I felt he wasn’t committing to me although I always felt he loved me very much .. I met someone else so moved on but I could have been kinder in the way it all went. I regretted very much ending it soon after realising myself I still loved him but knew I couldn’t go back as I’d started a new relationship and thought he’d never forgive me . So I decided almost four months ago to send him a message via text .,, basically sorry for my behaviour etc and wishing him well . He replied Thankyou and we started chatting via text only for three weeks non stop every day and I felt he still had feelings for me . He then text me saying he hadn’t said earlier but he was in a relationship with a lovely lady for two years , mainly friendship for comfort although he never wanted to live with her just stayed over weekends and had his own home he goes back to . So we met after all these years and from that meeting oh my boom we fell in love all over again . Everyday text talking meeting once weekly so lovely just walking and some intimacy kisses cuddles. He told me he still loves me always has but never thought I’d see him again or contact him so it’s been so overwhelming for us both so many tears of sadness and happiness. He Says he doesn’t love this lady but had much respect for her so doesn’t want to hurt her she’s very kind and caring . She’s lost two husbands to other lady and suffers with crohns . I’ve felt awful with it all and he does too so said he wants to walk through what would have eventually happened with their relationship gently as he said he’s had doubts about it way before me coming back into his life. Says they have nothing in common and she liked mothering him and says he doesn’t need a Carer . Also she talks down to him at times he says .He feels bad with guilt to end it plus he’s so soft and hates seeing anyone hurt . It’s been four months now talking non stop and loving texts etc and he’s talking about our lives future together. We’ve made love twice and both felt bad guilt mainly. He’s not slept over at hers for three and half months and pops in to see her few times a week for a hour he says . Sleeps at home as I see his car and he tells me he’s coming away from the relationship gently not wanting to cause damage as he’s been there too were heartaches concerned but it’s been hard as she’s crying and then angry understandably. He says she’s hanging on Hoping he will see there’s still a chance to save it . I was getting quite poorly with all the emotions so I’ve told him I can’t see him right now and until a time comes it’s resolved I want to just be friends. It’s killing me inside as he’s texting and calling me just to chat and there’s no pressure, we get along great we always did . He says he’s in the throws of the end of it now maybe a few more weeks but he’s kept saying this and I don’t want to pressure him . He’s insecure too as I’ve hurt him in the past but says he doesn’t doubt me as I’ve grown mentally so knows I regret the past .I’m so insecure and not sure if i should say no contact at all . Would that make him finally deal with it or should I continue talking on phone only not meeting him ? I really don’t know how to deal with this and I’m worried it’s going to go on and on forever. Any advice will be appreciated. We are both a mature couple in our fifties. Thanks x
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