Masturbatution and relationship

[Mummy1234]

Hi,




I would really like some advice. It’s a bit long I’ll be quick as I can




Recently I found out my partner has been wanking in bed next to me when I’m asleep, he’s been doing it for 6 months and has chosen to do this only on a weekend whilst I’m in a deeper sleep (I get help with children and enjoy a wine) the night I found out, he turned sex down but then went on to do it himself. I must stress that I’m not against wanking and this isn’t the problem, I hate the thought of him doing it next to me yes, I feel insulted and because of the days he’s choosing to do this, I feel it’s planned into his weekend so I’m thinking, what are you upto, no he’s not having an affair but I’m questioning why it’s gone on so long and if there’s more too it. He denys porn or anything on his phone.




This has caused a major problem for us. He said he’ll never do it again. We’ve started having sex a lot more, from 1-2 a week to 5-6 times. This is a bit gross... but the other night (on a weekend) we had sex, then I noticed stains on his tshirt, he insists it was from clean up but the amount on there doesn’t seem possible, to me he went on to do it alone, he said the stains are from me but it’s semen. Im almost 100% that the amount of cum isn’t possible to come from wiping his willy! I’m not bothered about wanking but is he going behind my back and lying to me? He insists he Will not/hasn’t done it again but the evidence is there! I’m hurt that he is lying to me. I’m questioning why he would need to masturbate after sex, is me being asleep a fantasy, is he addicted!? My mind is going crazy. I must stress- wanking doesn’t bother me but lying does. And to say he won’t do it again when I’ve felt uncomfortable and freaked out. Then done it regardless? I feel like I can’t trust him and I’m shocked that he’d lie.




Please help me! And be kind please xx

[Dennis]

Assuming that:

• your sex drive is not drastically less than his
• he desires you, in general (see other people’s answers about various kinks he might be fantasizing about, or about homosexual persons married to heteros)
• you desire him

then you might try putting two things together the next time he starts…
— your butt and his face.

“If you’re going to do that anyway, here’s something to occupy your attention.”

Your approach could be moderate, simply draping a thigh across his chest, while he continues, or just plopping your nether regions on the pillow beside his head and let him roll your way, or not. Though, you know, unless you are a real light-weight, you’ll tend to flatten the pillow under your hip and he’ll be fighting gravity… With your rump inches from his face, you could masturbate yourself while he’s doing his thing.

Or you could throw caution to the winds, climb aboard and kneel astride his upper body, lowering yourself toward his face and maybe “That looks like fun. I’ll watch from here; you kiss my pussy.” (or whatever you call your sex-bits when you are at home).

If he doesn’t give you at least a couple of orgasms, he isn’t trying.

Either it doesn’t work, and you find out something about your relationship that needed to come out in the open anyway, or it does work, and in that fashion you train him to associate the pleasure of jerking off with the pleasure of the most complete physical intimacy. . . and get him accustomed to foreplay.

Of course, if you don’t have the nerve to try any of this, then we’ve already learned something about your relationship. Or, you have - you don’t have to tell us.

Regardless, you have an opportunity, and if you decide to approach it with confidence, you can pretty-much control the situation; after all, you have a ‘captive’ audience.

[Jane]

I suggest you start with talking to your husband about it. Why does he do it? Does he know how you feel? Would there be an acceptable alternative?

Your husband may simply have difficulty falling asleep. As many women have discovered, there are few sleep aids more effective than the physical fatigue combined with the chemicals that flood the male brain post-ejaculation. It's also entirely possible that he is simply in the habit, and sees no reason not to do so.

Perhaps you and he could have intercourse instead? If not, for whatever reason, perhaps there is something else you can do together that would meet his needs?

Good luck.

[bunnyhabit]

Him offing his hog should not be concerning but lies between lovers is a major concern. Why does his hog tugging bother you if he is satisfying you and not cheating? This is probably a long term habit that is not easy to forgo. I would go no contact with him for a week as punishment for lies and make sure he is aware of your reasoning for doing so is for falsehoods not playing himself off. Have a discussion with him about his motivation for handling himself rather than asking you to tug his hog if he enjoys handy work so much