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So im in a very complex situation at the moment, me and my partner have been together for 7 years,
we both have never had a long relationship with anyone else and things were going great. we used to go everywhere together, doing all sorts of activities, camping surfing loads of stuff,
our lives were full of laughter and love PERFECT!,
about 3 years or so ago, i started getting ill, stupidly i was too afraid to see the doctor about it, my health worstend and i did less and less, our friends group, which we shared started to break up due to one individual, until it was only her and my partner, so i had nobody to go out with. i started becoming very insular which hadnt helped the situation at all, things stared going downhill between us, but we still did festivals together which we both enjoyed! anyway on the way to one of the festivals, the van broke down, unable to repair it we had to be recovered, and go 100odd miles back to pick up another one, loosing a day by which time she was not in the best of moods and started messaging someone, after having 1 hours sleep i drove back to the festival trying to make sure she had time to enjoy it, and as soon as i got there i crashed out, and slept for hours, leaving her with some of our other friends, which she was cool with, anyway, long story short, one of my friends noticed that another friend was getting very close to her, he usually was a bit flirty and thats how he is so i just ignored it.....
anyway, after the festival she got very twitchey about her phone, messaging someone all night and taking it everywhere, which she never does... i mentioned it in a passing comment, asked her what was wrong, but she didnt say... this happend for about a week, (i know i feel bad about it) i looked at her messages, turns out this touchey guy had been messaging her 24/7, so i said to her dont you think its getting a bit much, she started to hide in the bathroom to message him then....., until one day at work i noticed a snapchat picture she sent him of her barely in a towel. i said enough is enough, she insisted it was a missuderstanding, and after that she locked her phone!, the messages continued, and i found her pin, i asked her to just get rid of snapchat and be honest, she promised she did then i found out she didnt. i made a snapchat account and added her, keeping an eye on her score (this guy was the only one on her account!) and i watched it go up when she insisted she didnt use it, i stupidly gave her the ultimatum me or him, so she told me she needed space. so i had to leave...... she then told me she stopped messaging, we momentarilly got back together only to find she didnt.
Anyway about 4 months have passed, she hates what happened, i have sorted my health and my issues, and things have been picking up, i just cross it off as a momentary blip..... so we are getting close to being back together, but she is still friends with this "friend of mine" (who is also married) and i think he should go, be deleted from her life and never spoke of again... is this me being unfair? i dont want to be an asshole, but i dont think i can move on untill he is gone.... anyway she refuses to, saying it was a missunderstanding and that he is a good friend (well definatly not to me)...., i cant help but feel like he is married and wont leave his wife, so im the fall back guy, but just incase, he is kept in the loop kind of thing..... although i know she loves me, the things she says to me and does for me do show this..... i dont know what to say or do, i know she isnt ready yet and nor am i, i have freaked out this whole time and i really think i have put her off. but we still have the connection, we have the history, we were soul mates, i just need to find my old self again.....
Long story short i love her with all my heart, she loves me, she had a momentary blip, started flirting with my "mate" who is married, we broke up, want to get back together, but i feel he should go, and i need to find my spark again.... what should i do
Thanks
we both have never had a long relationship with anyone else and things were going great. we used to go everywhere together, doing all sorts of activities, camping surfing loads of stuff,
our lives were full of laughter and love PERFECT!,
about 3 years or so ago, i started getting ill, stupidly i was too afraid to see the doctor about it, my health worstend and i did less and less, our friends group, which we shared started to break up due to one individual, until it was only her and my partner, so i had nobody to go out with. i started becoming very insular which hadnt helped the situation at all, things stared going downhill between us, but we still did festivals together which we both enjoyed! anyway on the way to one of the festivals, the van broke down, unable to repair it we had to be recovered, and go 100odd miles back to pick up another one, loosing a day by which time she was not in the best of moods and started messaging someone, after having 1 hours sleep i drove back to the festival trying to make sure she had time to enjoy it, and as soon as i got there i crashed out, and slept for hours, leaving her with some of our other friends, which she was cool with, anyway, long story short, one of my friends noticed that another friend was getting very close to her, he usually was a bit flirty and thats how he is so i just ignored it.....
anyway, after the festival she got very twitchey about her phone, messaging someone all night and taking it everywhere, which she never does... i mentioned it in a passing comment, asked her what was wrong, but she didnt say... this happend for about a week, (i know i feel bad about it) i looked at her messages, turns out this touchey guy had been messaging her 24/7, so i said to her dont you think its getting a bit much, she started to hide in the bathroom to message him then....., until one day at work i noticed a snapchat picture she sent him of her barely in a towel. i said enough is enough, she insisted it was a missuderstanding, and after that she locked her phone!, the messages continued, and i found her pin, i asked her to just get rid of snapchat and be honest, she promised she did then i found out she didnt. i made a snapchat account and added her, keeping an eye on her score (this guy was the only one on her account!) and i watched it go up when she insisted she didnt use it, i stupidly gave her the ultimatum me or him, so she told me she needed space. so i had to leave...... she then told me she stopped messaging, we momentarilly got back together only to find she didnt.
Anyway about 4 months have passed, she hates what happened, i have sorted my health and my issues, and things have been picking up, i just cross it off as a momentary blip..... so we are getting close to being back together, but she is still friends with this "friend of mine" (who is also married) and i think he should go, be deleted from her life and never spoke of again... is this me being unfair? i dont want to be an asshole, but i dont think i can move on untill he is gone.... anyway she refuses to, saying it was a missunderstanding and that he is a good friend (well definatly not to me)...., i cant help but feel like he is married and wont leave his wife, so im the fall back guy, but just incase, he is kept in the loop kind of thing..... although i know she loves me, the things she says to me and does for me do show this..... i dont know what to say or do, i know she isnt ready yet and nor am i, i have freaked out this whole time and i really think i have put her off. but we still have the connection, we have the history, we were soul mates, i just need to find my old self again.....
Long story short i love her with all my heart, she loves me, she had a momentary blip, started flirting with my "mate" who is married, we broke up, want to get back together, but i feel he should go, and i need to find my spark again.... what should i do
Thanks
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