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I have good and not so good news.
I had a chance to speak to my husband about the fantasy of being a hotwife. He did ask what he would get out of it. I was taken aback by his question. Honestly. But after thinking about it, I told him "you will have the freedom to explore your fantasies as well." He still was not excited. He finally admitted the idea was not something that got him going but that we can cross that bridge when we get to it. We let it go.
Last week my husband and I lay in bed and he began speaking to me about opening our relationship. How he wants to explore his bisexuality and wants to explore being a Dom. He said I could explore whatever I wanted as well.
I will admit that I was very excited. We talked and he began making his own profiles to meet people. I also made my own. We did not really think this through, looking on it now, but what's done is done.
It has only been one week and just a few days since he met a person online and is continuously speaking with. He told me about the conversations they were having about their tastes, him dominating this person, etc. It kinda made me hot. At the same time, I felt something was off.
We were out a few nights ago, he got a text from the person and interrupted our time together just to tell her that he's going to bed. I was upset. I did not feel as if he should have to take time from us to pay attention to someone else. But instead of bringing it up, I felt like an idiot and kept it to myself. I feel if I explain how it makes me feel, (after we promised we would not place such a huge importance on it that it affects our work, home, relationship, etc.), that I would be seen as incoherent and crazy. I let it go.
Later that night, about 3am I awake just as my husband steps into the restroom for half an hour. I hear his phone going off. I let it go.
I couldnt sleep so I got up out of bed. As I sit in the living room I hear another fucking ding and see his spare phone (he doesn't have a pattern lock on this one). I grab it and see a text from this person. I immediately get super pissed off. I open the message and read their conversation.
He told me that he let this person know that they will not ever be anything more to him, than a friend and if feelings developed, he was cutting ties. He had nicer words when I heard it from his mouth. But as I look through the texts, I don't see anywhere he told this person anything like that. All I see in reference to me, is that he is "completely free to explore and will not get into any trouble because my wife is completely aware".
The texts are as usual except there are words such as he's "a loving Dom/daddy", if anyone hurt his person - he would immediately go to their aid and punish tje responsible parties". I see his cock pics are sent, the other person has sent pics asked for and hia response "you make daddy so happy. I'm always thinking about you."
I closed his phone. I felt his wording is off. Then I felt like I had been hit by a smart for 2. I pushed the feelings away. Tonight they erupted.
He brought up how he is having "fatherly" type feelings. He said he doesn't want kids but is feeling like a protector and nurturer but not sure why. I don't know why either. He tells me he is enjoying texting the person he has found..however, while he was at work and the person spent all day not responding, my husband called me to complain. I understood where he was coming from but at the same time, I did not. I could not wrap my head around the reason he was so upset. When he came home a few hours later he was bouncing and I asked how things were. He said the person got in touch with him with a valid reason for not responding amd so he freaked out for no good reason. I let it go.
Tonight out of curiosity, I wanted to see the texts they shared and he immediately said "no!" Of course that pissed me off. I felt he bad something to hide. He said the person divulged some personal info that he cannot share with me. We fought all night about this.
He says he has feelings for this person and wants me to give him the chance to prove that he will allow it to come between us. I feel it already has. I encouraged him to be honest. He said he wants to see the relationship through because they have things in common and that their chats are never sexual in nature. I told him i felt in my gut, that those words are a lie. He said "I wish you did not feel that way but its the gods honest truth!"
So I told him I now need some time to figure this out. I know what I want. I want my marriage to work. I do not want to be this jealous wife who looks over her shoulder because her spouse, even though he has never met the person, has feelings for them in a fatherly way. In my heart of hearts - I do not believe that is true!
I feel like a fool. I want to walk away. I wamt to run and hide because I feel so stupid. Stupid fpr wanting to believe in someone and that their actions and intentions were sworn as pure and I am finding out otherwise. I find put all of this after seeing the relationship on screen. He said he feels that if he ever has any kind of feelings for anyone, even in just a friendly manner, that I will not accept it. I felt that was a low blow. Amd still I feel like I am right with my feelings. I'm just so hurt Right now.
I'm sorry for all the errors.
I had a chance to speak to my husband about the fantasy of being a hotwife. He did ask what he would get out of it. I was taken aback by his question. Honestly. But after thinking about it, I told him "you will have the freedom to explore your fantasies as well." He still was not excited. He finally admitted the idea was not something that got him going but that we can cross that bridge when we get to it. We let it go.
Last week my husband and I lay in bed and he began speaking to me about opening our relationship. How he wants to explore his bisexuality and wants to explore being a Dom. He said I could explore whatever I wanted as well.
I will admit that I was very excited. We talked and he began making his own profiles to meet people. I also made my own. We did not really think this through, looking on it now, but what's done is done.
It has only been one week and just a few days since he met a person online and is continuously speaking with. He told me about the conversations they were having about their tastes, him dominating this person, etc. It kinda made me hot. At the same time, I felt something was off.
We were out a few nights ago, he got a text from the person and interrupted our time together just to tell her that he's going to bed. I was upset. I did not feel as if he should have to take time from us to pay attention to someone else. But instead of bringing it up, I felt like an idiot and kept it to myself. I feel if I explain how it makes me feel, (after we promised we would not place such a huge importance on it that it affects our work, home, relationship, etc.), that I would be seen as incoherent and crazy. I let it go.
Later that night, about 3am I awake just as my husband steps into the restroom for half an hour. I hear his phone going off. I let it go.
I couldnt sleep so I got up out of bed. As I sit in the living room I hear another fucking ding and see his spare phone (he doesn't have a pattern lock on this one). I grab it and see a text from this person. I immediately get super pissed off. I open the message and read their conversation.
He told me that he let this person know that they will not ever be anything more to him, than a friend and if feelings developed, he was cutting ties. He had nicer words when I heard it from his mouth. But as I look through the texts, I don't see anywhere he told this person anything like that. All I see in reference to me, is that he is "completely free to explore and will not get into any trouble because my wife is completely aware".
The texts are as usual except there are words such as he's "a loving Dom/daddy", if anyone hurt his person - he would immediately go to their aid and punish tje responsible parties". I see his cock pics are sent, the other person has sent pics asked for and hia response "you make daddy so happy. I'm always thinking about you."
I closed his phone. I felt his wording is off. Then I felt like I had been hit by a smart for 2. I pushed the feelings away. Tonight they erupted.
He brought up how he is having "fatherly" type feelings. He said he doesn't want kids but is feeling like a protector and nurturer but not sure why. I don't know why either. He tells me he is enjoying texting the person he has found..however, while he was at work and the person spent all day not responding, my husband called me to complain. I understood where he was coming from but at the same time, I did not. I could not wrap my head around the reason he was so upset. When he came home a few hours later he was bouncing and I asked how things were. He said the person got in touch with him with a valid reason for not responding amd so he freaked out for no good reason. I let it go.
Tonight out of curiosity, I wanted to see the texts they shared and he immediately said "no!" Of course that pissed me off. I felt he bad something to hide. He said the person divulged some personal info that he cannot share with me. We fought all night about this.
He says he has feelings for this person and wants me to give him the chance to prove that he will allow it to come between us. I feel it already has. I encouraged him to be honest. He said he wants to see the relationship through because they have things in common and that their chats are never sexual in nature. I told him i felt in my gut, that those words are a lie. He said "I wish you did not feel that way but its the gods honest truth!"
So I told him I now need some time to figure this out. I know what I want. I want my marriage to work. I do not want to be this jealous wife who looks over her shoulder because her spouse, even though he has never met the person, has feelings for them in a fatherly way. In my heart of hearts - I do not believe that is true!
I feel like a fool. I want to walk away. I wamt to run and hide because I feel so stupid. Stupid fpr wanting to believe in someone and that their actions and intentions were sworn as pure and I am finding out otherwise. I find put all of this after seeing the relationship on screen. He said he feels that if he ever has any kind of feelings for anyone, even in just a friendly manner, that I will not accept it. I felt that was a low blow. Amd still I feel like I am right with my feelings. I'm just so hurt Right now.
I'm sorry for all the errors.
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