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Bad mistake dating an Iranian man in the UK - help!

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MillionaireMatch

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  • Bad mistake dating an Iranian man in the UK - help!

    I'm the most depressed I've ever been because of a guy. I'm 29 and he's 26 (although he told me he was 27 when we met)

    He messaged me on instagram randomly about 4 months ago and I wasnt interested but then he saw me in person and asked me if I wanted to go for a drink.

    He seemed okay and then we decided to go to a shisha bar and club. It was so exciting and I realised I really liked him.

    He's Iranian and I'm British. I think this plays a big part of the story.

    Anyway we went on a few nights like this over a month, driving me around London in his car and seemingly acting like an exciting cool person. He always talked about how he would buy me a shop so that I could have my own business and we could run a breakfast shop together. All these exciting prospects.

    At the time I didn't live in London but was in the process of moving there so I asked him if I could stay at his house for a few days which he said yes. I hadnt seen him for two weeks prior to this and was excited to meet him but he seemed really different.

    He was so cold, and said how he would drop me at his house and had to go to work. I was suprised that he didn't want to hang out together. Over the next few days he constantly made comments towards me, like how I washed the dishes was incorrect and one day I'll be clever. He asked why I always complain and have bullshit thinking. I was really like wow, I'm not liking this side of him!

    It was then my birthday and I had a new room sorted out. I asked him if he wants to meet for a drink. I was late to meet him and he was furious. He called me a child and got really angry and told me to get out his car and then he broke up with me. On my birthday!

    I was devastated. I cried my entire birthday and all week. I begged him on the phone to try and fix thibgs but he said his life has changed and he needs to work a lot. So i said im happy to see you once a week or something. He agreed. This once a week seeing him thing has lasted for around 3 months. I go to his house at night, watch a movie, have a sex and go in the morning. It's so depressing. He always made promises like next month I will return to a normal work life and make a day off, but this has never happened. He once promised me he would take me out the next weekend and we'd go to the beach but then cancelled this idea the next day.

    Most recently, I didn't answer my phone while I was with my friend and he didnt talk to me for two days. When I eventually phoned him, he shouted at me, saying he can't accept that I didn't answer my phone. He said im like a child because I started crying, and when I try to fight back he shuts me up straight away saying I'm starting with the bullshit again.

    The next day we had a calmer talk and he once again said we can't be together, he cant be with me forever because his family wouldn't accept it and that at his age he doesnt want someone questionning him about where he is, when I just said that as conversation because i only saw him once a week.

    I'm so devastated that after all of this it's still tje same and he's said he cant be with me. I'm so hurt and heart broken. It's really really painful and I'm suffering so much.

    I feel so in love with him and the sex is incredible. I always rememver the good memories at the start and just feel so sad at what he's done to me.

    I feel so used and rejected and stupid.

  • #2
    Sorry about what this Iranian guy has done to you. I know exactly how you are feeling at the moment. However, I'll advice you accept that it's over and move on with grace. You are in a toxic relationship with him, so don't allow an incredible sex with him keep you with him.

    Remember, there is a better life out there!

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    • #3
      The honeymoon in your relationship ended when you moved in with him and started staying together. This was when he started to see your flaws and lost his love for you. So, this simply proves that you two aren't meant to be together. So, you shouldn't be happy the breakup happened now and didn't happened after wasting years in the relationship.

      I'll advice you don't go back to him again even if he comes begging. However, learn from your mistakes and never move in too soon with a guy until you know him well.

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      • #4
        Thank you, but I only stayed with him for 3 days before moving into my new room. I felt like he had a predisposition to start being mean to me when I stayed there.

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        • #5
          my friend had the same experience with an Iranian man! I don't want to generalize or to sound racist, but I think they are "naturally" quite aggressive and a little sexist... they are terribly attractive , manly and nice at the beginning, but this doesn't last in the long run.... I am sorry but you're not the first one experiencing this with Iranian men.

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          • #6

            Thank you. Yeah I know, he is really handsome and treated me like a princess at the start butnniw it's like he hates me. He's very aggressive. He calls me names and shouts and then switches. I'm trying so hard to stay strong and block him out. I'm even scared he might upset me again by calling me and starting a drama.

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