Honeymoon Phase is Over, now I'm concerned

[johnd327]

Good Morning,

I am an 18 year old collge student, and I go to same university as my 6-month-ish girlfriend whom I love deeply. What's wrong is that I realize that our "Honeymoon Phase" is over, which I believe is the phase in which have the most fun and love, but now we know and trust each other 100% that our relationship is now "normal". I'm asking on advise on how to make the relationship like before, because to me, it does not feel like it. I love her and she loves me (so she says) and I don't want the relationship to end, I'm scared that suddenly she will decide to dump me without no reason. Are those problems only in my head? Is it me? Because the thing is that she has been so fed up with homework these past weeks that we haven't had the time for each other, and I gave her all time and space and even help. She even thanked me for it, but my anxiety and overthinking have led me to believe that she doesn't love me anymore. Can I please get some advise and comfort in the matter on how to *know* that the relationship won't end. Maybe the fact that winter vacation is coming and then we will have time for each other.

Thank you very much for any kind of help

[bunnyhabit]

girls typically dump men for a reason not without a cause. communication is key to a lasting relationship but will never return to introductory time when first blend and unaccustomed to each other. she should give you some signs of dissatisfaction before D day. has she been cold or distant from you? this is usually first sign she will wander away. seems from your narrative you and her are meshing quite well without cause for worrying. are you leaving some information out that is causing your panic attack any changes in sexual relations is also a red flag to watch closely. appears you are overreacting based on provided information.

[Rob]

One of the main reasons, if not the main reason for the breakdown in relationships is due to the lack of communication between partners. If you think about it, whilst you are still individuals you are also two people who have chosen to join their lives together, if you do not share each others lives then do you have a relationship. You cannot build a loving relationship until you know everything about your partner and they about you. You need to be totally open and honest about your needs, wants and desires, when you are both comfortable in doing that then you will have a far healthier relationship, and the trust and bonds that tie you together will be strengthened. Find out what is important to your partner and let them know what is important to you. So long as you keep talking to each other then it does not matter what problems you face, you will find a way to deal with them.

You have to like your partner, they have to be your best friend and you theirs. You need to be able to offer your unconditional support without even thinking about it. If they have problems you need to be there to help them and strengthen them. It is wonderful to be in love, but love is an emotion, it will not last for the whole of your marriage. You can reignite the spark any number of times, but what really stands the test of time is true friendship.

If you want to build a loving relationship, and this can sometimes be easier said than done, but you have to commit to spending quality time together. It is a whole lot easier a first when it is just the two of you getting to know each other. But as time rolls on kids, work commitments, long commutes, different interests etc can make it difficult. One thing that you need to remember is that there is nothing as important to your relationship as the two of you, people and circumstances will move in and out of your lives but the one constant is the two of you. Quality time spent together away from work, the kids, the day to day problems that life just loves to give us will strengthen your bond, your communication and your understanding of each other, oh, and not forgetting the fact that you will enjoy yourselves. It never ceases to amaze me, just how many people think that having a good time and enjoying each others company is a pleasure only suited for the start of a relationship?

Whether you like it or not your relationship will face problems. This is where your practice of the art of communication comes into its own. Because you share things with each other, potential problems can usually be recognised and dealt with quite early on. Neither of you is perfect so you will make mistakes or you might say something hurtful in the heat of the moment. Quite often a problem is not always one persons fault but you both share the blame. Take responsibility for your actions and where necessary apologise. Approach each problem calmly and rationally and negotiate a compromise that both of you are happy with, if you are both happy then it further strengthens the relationship. Keep the focus on the issue in hand. Do not play the blame game, it wastes time, it is pointless and a bit childish. You want to get into the habit of dealing with problems together early on in the relationship, in time it will become automatic.

To create a loving relationship you both need to give your total commitment to the relationship, in return you will get something that will improve all aspects of your life. Your relationship will experience its ups and down, that is natural and normal, expect them and deal with them together. As time moves on you will change, your partner will change and as you both change so will your relationship, accept it and move along with it, do not try to keep it fixed in place it will only become stale and lifeless. Enjoy each others company, let your partner know that you love them everyday, talk to each other, support each other, help each other and have a long and happy life together.

[Whyzee]

Hello there!

Don't be so overly thinking about your relationship and just let things take over the course. There is way so much ahead for you two to live worthwhile. Try not to focus so much between the two of you and explore about more about YOU first. It is by experiencing more about you that you can learn how to deal with the rest. Enjoy life as things comes to you. Discover more about things that will help you be happy now and if those things will be possible to be shared with others including your beloved then by all means go with it. But never sacrifice your very own happiness to savor the best of life.