Engaged and sexually neglected

[EngagedAndWorried]

I just want other women’s opinion or at least to vent because I’m so confused, upset, angry, etc. I’ve been with my fiancé for 10 years (I’m 32 he’s 34) and we are getting married in less than 6 months and our “plan” or hope has been to start having children next year. Anyways, about a year ago almost my doctor wouldn’t prescribe me anymore birth control pill due to health concerns/side effects and I didn’t want an iud or another bc and I knew I wanted kids in a year or so. I had been on the pill for over 10 years so me and him have gone unprotected throughout our relationship. Problem is he doesn’t like condoms he says or whatever so we haven’t had intercourse in over 7 months. Our sex life consists of me giving him oral and he fingers me...that’s it. He works 2 jobs such a hard worker, barely sleeps so I don’t expect a lot of sex of course and I like giving him oral. He’s only had sex with me like 2 times this past year with a condom. I have brought it up in every way possible to him that i want more than a finger and I wanna feel that close intimacy (or anything really) and i buy condoms, beg, try to just talk about us and sex this whole year and he snaps right away saying “well you went off the pill” or “it’s good we’re fine” while I stay up at night concerned about our future. I always say it’s good to talk about sex, don’t get mad we’re just talking. But he’s defensive always probably because he knows I’m not satisfied yet won’t change at all. He only fingers me...rarelyyyy oral reciprocation so he knows I’m not satisfied and does not care! I can bring it up in a fun sexy way and he barely shows interest while I’m the fool giving him head when I want intimacy, he just says “after the wedding will be fun we can have sex” I’m so sad and disconnected planning our wedding knowing we’ll have gone almost 14 months no intercourse if he really won’t put on a condom or care his fiancé’s upset and unsatisfied. He’s selfish...always saying “he’s fine just getting blowjobs” but I’m here too! I replied tonight well im not fine just with ur finger anymore and once again “we’ll u went off birth control” sorry this is so long and he sounds like such a jerk as I write this...lonely and unsure of what to do because I’m ready to make myself happy and life is short I don’t want to miss out and live like this forever..Ive begged him long enough. Any thoughts or similar situations Id love to talk.thanks ❤️

[bunnyhabit]

this dude is putting all the responsibility on you. hard to believe he is not getting coitus from someone else on the pill. condoms are not only for birth control but also disease cross contamination prevention Lots of people think there’s no risk of getting a sexually transmitted disease (STD) from oral sex, but in fact, that is not the case. Oral sex is most accurately described as a low-risk way of getting most STDs, and low-risk is not the same as no-risk. I don't think he loves you if avoiding condoms are more important than your happiness derived from cunnilingus and coitus. i suggest you seek a better partnership than you currently have. This guy is totally self centered so will be a neglectful husband and father for your children.

[KB Love Doctor]

Sorry I know you asked for a woman’s opinion but I would love to say something about this. It’s good and great that you love giving head and that he loves receiving it but like you said what about you? Honest opinion is he seems very selfish and needs to realize what he is getting is not a given. On top of that if you do not get yours from him, you will eventually find it elsewhere. Maybe he’ll be too selfish to let that happen and give in, who knows. But it is important you both realize and accept it is essential to a successful marriage to be on the same page sexually. This needs to get fixed prior to the wedding.

[bunnyhabit]

I always honor originators response desires in my responses. It is not uncommon for people to request responses from a specific gender. I would never respond to a post requesting male interactions only.