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My bf and I have been dating years and he wants to move in. Being a conservative person when it comes to money and worked hard all my life and saved $ for retirement, etc., I am really troubled with his behavior. I live in a nice home as well.
He earns enough to pay his regular bills but nothing extra. He did inherit some $ and used a lot of it to pay back bills so he has some left and owes no old debt (he still charges but typically pays that off monthly). He puts away $200/month but he can't manage anymore than that.
I just feel like I can't trust him financially. I had to really spend time and energy and even break up with him a few times for him to change his money ways. He is much more prudent now but he still does stupid things like he insists on going to a concierge doctor that costs $1700/year and I tell him he has no medical issues and he can't afford it but this was his original doctor and he likes the convenience he says. He also hasn't asked for a raise since he started work over a year ago even though he is now running the store for the business - his friend owns the business and gave him a job since he was unemployed before that and at his age (mid 60s), nothing was coming his way. He even didn't put all of the inherited money into savings and left some $ in his checking account but I can't figure out why (he claims it's for his mother who went into a nursing home and he'll transfer it at months' end, but that makes no sense since she is on Medicaid).
I step up and sometimes pay for things which are his sole responsibility just to see if he'll save more but he doesn't.
He says he'll pay me rent and if it's less than he pays now, we can put it into the savings account to spend for vacations and the like (although it won't amount to that much I think). Basically, I feel like I"m subsidizing his living expenses. For the same amount or less, he will be living in a beautiful home rather than a one bedroom apt. I may not mind sacrificing to have him in my life, but I feel he isn't sacrificing enough? Am I wrong?
I recognize we love each other and he is a good man and is family oriented, but am I being taken advantage of? I'm not that desperate even though I know at my age, the good men are in short supply.
Am I being too critical and paranoid in thinking he can't be depended on when he needs to pay for his share whatever that amount is?
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