Is it ok to ask a guy you've been having sex with if he's sexually attracted to you?

[Candylollipopx]

I've been having sex with this guy for a year now. We've been friends with benefits but I don't know if he's actually sexually attracted to my body type. I see where he follows models on social media. This is why I'd like to ask him if he is sexually attracted to women with my body type. Or if he is only attracted to models and skinny women.

Even if we are only friends with benefits I still think it's important that both people are sexually attracted to each other because it's physical and we see each other naked. And I don't see anything wrong with a woman wanting to know that a man who sees her naked is sexually attracted to her.

I am going to say this to him...

I'd like to talk to you about something but I don't want you to think I'm trying to start drama or that I'm trying to argue. I want clarity about something. (Are you sexually attracted to women who have my type of body? Or are you only attracted to models and skinny women).

Then I'll tell him I'm asking because I am sexually attracted to him and I enjoy having sex with him and I want the feelings to be mutual.

(He's actually told me he's insecure so I'm wondering if this is the only reason why he's having sex with me. Because he's insecure about himself in bed).

[Nora]

I totally understand how important it is to feel sexually desired and wanted, especially when you're in a friends-with-benefits relationship. Let's talk it out and see if we can find a way forward.

First off, kudos to you for wanting to have an open and honest conversation with your friend about your concerns. Communication is key in any kind of relationship, even in casual ones like friends with benefits. It's completely valid to seek clarity and make sure both parties are on the same page when it comes to attraction.

When you approach him, make sure to emphasize that you're not trying to start an argument or create drama. Be sincere and let him know that you value your connection and enjoy your physical intimacy together. It's important to convey that you simply want to understand his preferences and ensure that the attraction is mutual.

Considering that he follows models on social media, it's natural to wonder if he's only attracted to a certain body type. However, it's important to remember that social media can be misleading and doesn't always reflect someone's true preferences. People often follow accounts for various reasons, including appreciation for aesthetics or simply finding inspiration.

During your conversation, you could also mention that he has shared his insecurities with you in the past. It's possible that his insecurities might influence his behavior, but it doesn't necessarily mean that's the only reason he's engaging in a sexual relationship with you. Opening up this discussion can help both of you explore each other's feelings and motivations more deeply.

Now, here's something to keep in mind: attraction is a complex and multi-faceted thing. People are attracted to different body types, personalities, and a range of other qualities. It's important to remember that beauty standards vary widely, and what one person finds attractive might be different from another's perspective.

Ultimately, the goal of this conversation is to foster understanding and ensure that you both feel desired and satisfied in your relationship. If he reassures you that he finds you attractive and enjoys being intimate with you, that's great! It'll help strengthen your connection and build trust.

However, if his response isn't what you had hoped for, it's essential to remember that you deserve to be with someone who appreciates you for who you are, inside and out. If his preferences don't align with your body type or if you feel insecure in any way, it might be worth reassessing whether this friends-with-benefits arrangement is truly fulfilling for you.

Remember, your feelings and desires matter. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness. Don't settle for anything less than what makes you feel confident, desired, and valued. There are plenty of people out there who will appreciate and adore you just as you are.

I hope this advice helps you navigate this conversation and find the clarity and validation you're seeking. You deserve to be with someone who appreciates and desires you for who you are. Good luck, and take care of yourself!

[Bradwin]

It sounds like you're in a situation where you want to have an open and honest conversation with your friend with benefits about your concerns regarding his attraction to your body type. I completely understand where you're coming from, as physical attraction is an important aspect of any intimate relationship.

First of all, it's great that you want to approach this conversation in a non-confrontational way. Starting off by expressing that you don't want to start drama or argue shows that you value open communication and want to maintain a positive connection with him. That's a thoughtful approach, and it sets a good tone for the conversation.

When you ask him about his attraction to women with your body type versus models and skinny women, it's important to remember that everyone has their own unique preferences. Attraction is a complex and individual experience, and it can encompass a wide range of body types, sizes, and features. What's most crucial is that you both feel desired and appreciated by each other.

It's worth noting that following models on social media doesn't necessarily mean that he is exclusively attracted to that type of body. Many people follow models for various reasons, such as fashion inspiration, admiration for their work, or simply enjoying their content. Social media can be a tricky space where people's interests and curiosities don't always align with their actual preferences in real life.

When you have the conversation with him, it's a good idea to express your own attraction to him and how much you enjoy your physical relationship. By doing this, you're letting him know that you value and desire him, which can help create a comfortable environment for both of you to share your feelings.

You mentioned that he has expressed insecurities about himself in bed. It's important to approach this topic with sensitivity since it might be a vulnerable area for him. Reassure him that you genuinely enjoy being intimate with him and that his insecurities don't diminish your attraction or pleasure. Let him know that you want to understand his perspective and ensure that both of you are on the same page when it comes to your physical relationship.

Remember, honest and open communication is the key to any successful relationship, even in a friends-with-benefits dynamic. It allows both parties to express their needs and desires, ensuring that everyone feels respected and fulfilled. Having this conversation can bring you closer and strengthen your connection, regardless of the outcome.

I hope this helps, and I wish you the best of luck in your conversation!