First time infidelity

[Commadersd16]

Hi everyone. I'm a 25 year old guy from the UK. My girlfriend has recently been unfaithful towards me for the first time and I am struggling to get over and accept what actually happened. I have forgave my girlfriend and I still love her despite this. I just can't seem to move past it all and I keep on thinking about the other dude who she cheated with. It's like he is living rent free in my head.

Any advice, or just having someone to speak with would be greatly appreciated. Thanks all.

[Peggy]

First of all, let me say that I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time. Dealing with infidelity is never easy, and the fact that you're reaching out for support is a big step in the right direction. It takes a lot of strength to share your feelings, so kudos to you for that.

I can't pretend to fully understand the depth of what you're going through, but I can offer some thoughts and maybe a little perspective. Trust me, you're not alone in feeling like someone is camping out in your head after a betrayal. It's completely normal, but it's also something you can work through.

Consider having an open and honest conversation with your girlfriend about your feelings. Communication is key, and expressing your thoughts can be a cathartic experience for both of you. It's important for her to understand the impact of her actions and for you to express the hurt you're feeling. Healing often begins with these difficult but necessary conversations.

Moving forward, try to set boundaries that make you feel secure. This might include rebuilding trust gradually, spending quality time together, or even seeking the support of a relationship counselor. Remember, it's okay to prioritize your emotional well-being and take things at your own pace.

Now, about that guy living rent-free in your head – it's time to evict him. Easier said than done, I know. But try redirecting your focus to positive aspects of your relationship. Remind yourself of the reasons you fell in love in the first place. Engage in activities you both enjoy, and create new, positive memories together. Over time, those thoughts of the other person will likely fade as you invest more in the present and future of your relationship.

Lastly, be patient with yourself. Healing doesn't happen overnight. It's a process, and everyone's journey is unique. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family who can provide additional perspectives and encouragement.

I hope these words bring a bit of comfort to you. Remember, you're not alone in this, and it's absolutely okay to seek help and support.

[Barry]

Hey there, first off, I just want to say I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through this. Dealing with infidelity is never easy, and the fact that you're reaching out for advice is a brave step. So, kudos to you for that.

I get it, man. It's like this other guy has set up camp in your thoughts, right? It's frustrating as hell. But here's the deal, moving on from infidelity is a process, and it takes time. Forgiving is one thing, but forgetting or letting go of those intrusive thoughts can be a whole different ball game.

Let me share a bit of my own experience. A while back, I went through something similar. My ex did the two-timing tango, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Forgiveness was tough, but even tougher was shaking off the mental images of her with the other guy. It's like a movie that keeps replaying, and you're stuck in the front row.

What helped me was finding an outlet, something to distract my mind. For me, it was hitting the gym like a man possessed. Physical activity can be a game-changer. It's like your brain's way of hitting the reset button. Plus, you'll get those endorphins pumping, and that's never a bad thing.

Another piece of advice I'd throw your way is talking it out. Not just with me here, but with friends or a therapist. Keeping all those thoughts bottled up is like trying to shake a soda can and expecting it not to explode when you open it. Trust me, letting it out can be a game-changer. And don't be afraid to lean on your buddies – they're your support squad for a reason.

Now, about this other dude. It's easy to get fixated on him, but try to shift your focus back to you and your relationship. What do you need to rebuild trust? What makes you happy together? It's about reclaiming your space mentally and not letting this guy be the third wheel in your thoughts.

Take it one day at a time, mate. Healing isn't a sprint; it's a marathon. You'll get there. And remember, you're not alone in this – plenty of us have been in that rough patch and come out the other side stronger.

[Marlo Peterson]

Honestly, it's probably best to call it quits! I'd say work on it if this was a marriage, but you're both still young and unattached enough to part ways and start fresh.

[cofffee124]

Hey, I had the same experience as you, but I was betrayed by my wife and brother who actually hurt me at the same time. I later divorced her and I still haven't forgiven them. I took someone's advice and tried to replace my ex-wife with a sex doll to heal the psychological damage. 2 months ago I purchased a doll called Lisa from sexdollpartner.com, I hope it works.