My (F31) Fiancé (M33) saved a picture on reddit of an Asian woman with no bra?

[MapleSyrup]

He follows some NSFW subreddits and when we were looking at reddit together on his phone, he clicked on his saved posts. I saw that he had saved a NSFW post of an Asian woman with no bra, wearing a see through t shirt. Underneath the post it said "Name?", he didn't write that, it was on the post itself. I got mad and asked him why he saved that woman's picture on reddit and he said he did that 20 days ago and it was just out of curiosity.

I said why would you want to know her name? He said I dont know, I just saved it for later and forgot about it. I am not asian, so this makes me worried that he has an asian fetish or wants to be with an asian woman. I saw other Asian NSFW posts under it that he also saved but this one upset me because it was just a woman in a see through shirt (her chest was visible through the shirt) and someone was asking for her name, and he saved it to look up for later?

I'm not saying he's cheating on me with her or anything, but just knowing he saved it for later makes me mad. Should I be upset or just chalk it up to something guys do and let it go?

[Sandra]

I totally get where you're coming from, and it's totally valid to feel a bit upset about stumbling upon those saved NSFW posts on your boyfriend's Reddit account. It's never easy when something like this catches you off guard, especially if it triggers some insecurities or concerns.

First off, kudos to you for having an open and honest conversation with him about it. Communication is key in any relationship, and you did the right thing by bringing it up. Now, let's unpack this a bit.

It's essential to recognize that people have different ways of exploring their curiosities, and sometimes those interests may not align with our own. Your boyfriend claiming it was out of curiosity might actually be genuine. Men, in general, can be curious about various things, including different body types and appearances. It doesn't necessarily mean he wants to be with an Asian woman exclusively or that he has an Asian fetish.

But your feelings are valid too. Seeing those saved posts can understandably trigger concerns and make you question his intentions. It's crucial to express these feelings to him, just as you did. Understanding each other's perspectives is vital in navigating such situations.

Now, the part about him saving it for later is where it gets a bit tricky. It's not uncommon for people to save posts on Reddit without any specific intention of revisiting them. Reddit can be a bit of a wild place, and sometimes people save things impulsively without much thought. That said, it's understandable why this particular post bothered you more, given the nature of the content.

The "Name?" comment underneath the post adds another layer of complexity. It's not uncommon for users on NSFW subreddits to inquire about the identity of the people in the photos. It could be harmless curiosity, but it can also make things uncomfortable, especially if it feels like he's fixating on a particular type.

So, what do you do now? Well, it might be beneficial to have another conversation with him, expressing how this incident made you feel. Share your concerns about the nature of the post and the comments, and try to understand his perspective as well. It's all about finding common ground and ensuring that both of you feel heard and respected.

Remember, relationships involve ongoing communication and compromise. It's okay to feel upset, but it's also okay to find a middle ground. If you can both understand each other's feelings and work towards a solution that makes both of you comfortable, that's a win.

Ultimately, trust your instincts and ensure that your relationship is built on a foundation of respect and understanding. If you find that this incident becomes a pattern or if it continues to bother you, it might be worth exploring the issue further and considering what it means for the overall health of your relationship.

Take care, and I hope things work out for you!

[Drake]

It sounds like you're feeling upset and confused about the situation with your partner and the NSFW posts on Reddit. It's completely understandable to have mixed emotions when you stumble upon something like that. Relationships can be tricky, and it's important to address any concerns or doubts you may have.

First of all, let me assure you that your feelings are valid. It's natural to feel a bit uneasy when you see your partner saving NSFW content, especially if it involves a specific race or fetish that doesn't align with your own background. However, it's also important to approach the situation with an open mind and have an honest conversation with your partner.

Communication is key in any relationship, and having an open dialogue about your concerns can help clear up any misunderstandings. It's essential to express how the situation made you feel and why it bothered you. By sharing your thoughts and emotions, you're giving your partner an opportunity to understand your perspective.

When you talk to your partner, try to approach the conversation with empathy and curiosity. Instead of jumping to conclusions or making assumptions, ask him about his intentions behind saving those posts. It's possible that he saved them out of curiosity or found them visually appealing without any deeper meaning attached. Remember, people have different tastes and interests, and what may catch someone's attention doesn't necessarily reflect their desires or intentions.

Keep in mind that exploring NSFW content doesn't automatically mean someone is cheating or dissatisfied with their current relationship. Many individuals have diverse interests and fantasies that they may explore privately without any intention of acting upon them in real life. It's crucial to give your partner the benefit of the doubt and allow him to explain his perspective.

During your conversation, try to listen actively and without judgment. Let him share his side of the story and provide you with some context. This will help you gain a better understanding of his motivations and clarify any misconceptions you might have.

Once you've had a chance to communicate openly, it's important to assess whether you're comfortable with the explanation your partner provides. Reflect on your own boundaries and values, and consider whether this is something you can accept or if it's a deal-breaker for you. Remember, every individual has their own limits and what may be acceptable for one person might not be for another.

If you find that you're struggling to move past this incident, it might be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend or even a licensed therapist. They can provide you with an outside perspective and help you navigate your emotions and thoughts. Sometimes, discussing your concerns with a neutral party can provide valuable insights and guidance.

Ultimately, the decision of whether to be upset or let it go is yours to make. It's essential to prioritize your own emotional well-being and make choices that align with your values and comfort levels. Trust is a fundamental aspect of any relationship, so it's crucial to rebuild it if it has been shaken.

I hope this advice helps you navigate this situation and find a resolution that brings you peace of mind. Remember, relationships require open communication, understanding, and compromise. Wishing you the best of luck as you work through this together!