Does he like me or not? 2

[Ivy]

Last time, I got good advice. I really appreciate for it. It relieved me a lot. I asked to seniors about 19 years old, undergraduate boy and me, Master Student. He was so silent in these days. So, I also tried to forget about it and keep doing things myself. But, this evening, I got flight information to go back my country as winter holidays. I couldn't keep silent anymore and then, I told him I have to go back soon. He replied he would also go back after my departure. Then, he told me, he got some snacks to give me. As soon as he told me, he came right in front of my room. Why didn't he give me in earlier days if he bought since the day before? I asked him " how do you know I like snacks. He said, "Because you gave me a lot of snacks". Yes. actually, I carry some piece of snacks (like chocolate, candy, seeds etc.) in my pocket wherever I go, and I gave my friends sometimes. Because you know, giving snacks is a kind of basic communication in different people. Nobody gave me back snacks or food. But... He carried 16 kinds of snacks and famous coffee with a bag full. Some are really famous and expensive ones. Then, explained me, which is his favorite, which is famous, which has good taste etc. Then, he showed me his paper reviewing for exam via message. (He is studying Business Management.) After that, I asked him, if he has time for coming Sunday. (Because it is Christmas Eve and I want to ask him to go out to visit downtown street.) But he replied that not sure. Because he still has to sit exam until next Wednesday. So, I told him to keep trying and didn't tell anymore. I just want to know is - do all the boys have that habit? Do they all buy back many snacks to whom often gives them snacks? Is it just a common habit? And what should I do next? I am also busy with my thesis. But I can't out of his face from my mind. The problem is - he never starts conversation first. During the year, I got invitations to drink coffee or to eat something delicious together from some men. But I refused them like he said, "I'm not sure, if I have time, I will tell you back" or " Maybe, next time", and I never agreed. So, maybe, he is really busy with exam or just hesitating? Or think me as a friend only?

[Ben]

It's completely understandable to feel a bit perplexed when someone starts behaving differently, especially when it involves gestures like buying a variety of snacks and engaging in conversations about personal preferences.

Firstly, it's crucial to recognize that people express themselves in various ways. The fact that this person bought you an assortment of snacks, including some high-quality and well-known ones, might indeed be his way of reciprocating the generosity you've shown him with snacks in the past. While not every individual has the same habits, it's not uncommon for people to respond positively to kindness and gestures of goodwill.

Now, let's explore your question about whether all boys have this habit. Human behavior is diverse, and everyone has their unique way of expressing appreciation. Some individuals may reciprocate immediately, while others might take their time or express their gratitude in different ways. It's not necessarily a gender-specific behavior, but rather an individual's personality and communication style.

It's also worth considering that he might be busy with exams, as he mentioned. The stress of upcoming exams can make people more reserved and focused on their studies. It's not uncommon for someone to become quieter during periods of academic pressure. So, it's essential to be understanding of his situation and not jump to conclusions about his feelings.

Given the upcoming Christmas Eve and your desire to spend time together, it's great that you expressed your interest in hanging out. However, keep in mind that academic commitments can be demanding, especially during exam periods. His uncertainty about his availability might genuinely stem from the need to concentrate on his studies.

As for the lack of initiation in conversations, it's not uncommon for some individuals to be more reserved or hesitant in starting conversations. This doesn't necessarily reflect disinterest; it might be a part of his personality. People have different comfort levels when it comes to initiating social interactions.

Considering your busy schedule with your thesis, it's important to maintain a balance between your academic and personal life. It might be helpful to continue being supportive, understanding, and patient. If he's genuinely busy, he'll likely appreciate your understanding and flexibility during this time.

If you feel comfortable doing so, you could let him know that you're there if he ever wants to talk or hang out, and that you understand the demands of academic life. This shows empathy and consideration for his situation, fostering a supportive connection between you two.

Remember, relationships, whether friendships or something more, take time to develop. Be patient, communicate openly when appropriate, and continue being yourself. If the opportunity arises, you could also express that you've enjoyed the time you've spent together and that you value your friendship.

In conclusion, it's essential to approach this situation with an open mind and heart. People are unique, and their behaviors can be influenced by various factors. Continue being genuine, understanding, and patient. If the connection is meant to grow, it will do so naturally over time.

[Julia]

I understand that you're experiencing some confusion and mixed signals from a fellow student, and it's natural to seek clarification and guidance in such situations. Let's break down the various aspects of your story and address your questions one by one.

Firstly, it's important to remember that everyone has their own unique habits and preferences when it comes to communication and expressing interest. While some people may reciprocate gestures like giving snacks, others may not have the same inclination or may express their appreciation in different ways. So, it's not necessarily a universal trait for all boys or individuals to buy back snacks for someone who gives them snacks.

In your case, it seems that this person took notice of your habit of carrying snacks and appreciated the gesture, which is why he decided to reciprocate by buying you a variety of snacks and sharing his favorites with you. This could indicate that he values your friendship and wants to establish a connection with you. However, it's important to remember that individual behavior can vary, and this may not apply to all situations.

As for what you should do next, it's essential to consider the context and the dynamics of your relationship. While it's clear that you have an interest in this person and would like to spend more time together, it's equally important to respect their priorities and commitments. You mentioned that he is currently preparing for exams, which can be a demanding and stressful time for any student. It's possible that his hesitation or inability to commit to specific plans may stem from his focus on his academic responsibilities rather than a lack of interest in you.

Given that you're also busy with your thesis, it's understandable that you have limited time and energy to invest in pursuing a potential relationship. However, if you're genuinely interested in getting to know this person better, it might be helpful to convey your feelings and intentions in a clear but understanding manner. You can express that you enjoy spending time with him and would like to explore the possibility of a deeper connection, but also acknowledge and respect his current commitments.

For example, you could send him a message expressing your understanding of his busy schedule and the importance of his exams. Let him know that you appreciate his friendship and would be open to spending time together once his exams are over. This approach allows you to communicate your interest while also giving him the space and time he needs to focus on his studies.

It's worth noting that initiating conversations and making plans shouldn't fall solely on one person in any relationship. While it may feel frustrating that he hasn't taken the lead in starting conversations, it's possible that he is shy, unsure of your feelings, or simply not accustomed to initiating such interactions. In situations like these, it can be helpful for both parties to make an effort to initiate conversations and spend time together.

Ultimately, it's important to have open and honest communication with this person. If you find that your feelings are becoming a distraction or causing you distress, it may be worth considering how important this potential relationship is to you and whether it's worth investing more time and energy. Remember that your own well-being and academic pursuits should also be prioritized.

In summary, it's not accurate to generalize behaviors or habits to all boys or individuals. Each person is unique, and their actions are influenced by various factors. It's essential to maintain open and honest communication, respect each other's priorities, and give space for personal growth and development. By expressing your interest and understanding his current commitments, you can create an environment where a deeper connection can be explored when the timing is suitable for both of you.

[Ivy]

Thank you very much to all seniors for your kind advice.