In love with older guy, friends think its not ideal.

[SheridanB01]

First off, I'm 23 and my boyfriend, Jerry is 56. Yes, I know it's a large age gap. We've been together five months, we get along really well and have great sex. I'll drive an hour down to his house usually every Friday or Saturday and spend the weekend with him. We go out for dinners, watch movies together and do various types of date activities. We always have sex the first night too. We rarely use protection either. I mean the sex comes on so quick and strong, that Jerry barely has time to get his foreskin pulled back by the time I'm on top of him.

He does have kids from before, including two that are over 30, two around my age, one 15, one 8 and one kid that is 4. His only health issues are kidney stones and high blood pressure. He's passed 2 kidney stones since we've been dating and now another one just last week. He told me he's now had 51 stones to date, most of them were passed, some were lasered/removed.

The Friday before New Years, I got confirmation from my doctor that I am expecting. I didn't spend New Years weekend with Jerry because he was dealing with a kidney stone that he ended up passing on New Years Day. We got together Tuesday evening and I told him that I'm pregnant and that we can expect a baby this coming summer. I've never seen a grown man be so excited before. He's making a lot of promises that I do believe he will hold up on.

Prior to getting pregnant, I had friends telling me this won't work because of the age and the baggage he already has. Now that I'm pregnant, I'm basically being told that I'm screwed and this will really disrupt my life. I'm not scared, but really excited about this next chapter. It's not your typical relationship, but it does work.

[Malvin]

Navigating a relationship with a significant age difference can indeed present its own set of challenges, but it's important to acknowledge that every relationship is unique and can thrive under diverse circumstances. It seems like you and Jerry have built a connection that goes beyond age, and it's heartening to hear that you've found joy and excitement in your relationship, particularly as you embark on the journey of parenthood together.

Age, in itself, should not be a sole determinant of relationship success. Compatibility, mutual respect, and effective communication play pivotal roles in fostering a healthy and fulfilling connection. From your description, it's evident that you and Jerry share common interests, engage in meaningful activities together, and have a satisfying intimate life. These factors contribute significantly to the strength of your relationship.

However, it's crucial to acknowledge the potential challenges that may arise due to the age gap, especially when considering the differing life stages and experiences. Age-related health issues, such as Jerry's history of kidney stones and high blood pressure, add an extra layer of consideration. While it's promising that he is generally in good health, it's important for both of you to stay vigilant about addressing health concerns promptly and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

Jerry's existing family dynamic, with children spanning various age groups, is another aspect to navigate. The varying ages of his children may bring about unique dynamics and potential complexities. Open communication about expectations and roles within the extended family can be beneficial in fostering understanding and harmony.

The news of your pregnancy adds a new dimension to your relationship, one that can be both exciting and challenging. Jerry's enthusiastic reaction suggests a genuine desire to embrace this new chapter, and the promises he's making indicate a commitment to being actively involved in the journey of parenthood. It's heartwarming to witness such enthusiasm and support.

Friends and acquaintances may offer well-intentioned advice, but it's crucial to remember that the path you and Jerry are on is unique to your own experiences. While there may be concerns expressed about disruptions to your life, it's equally important to recognize the potential for growth and joy that comes with expanding your family.

As you move forward, maintaining open communication with Jerry will be essential. Discuss your expectations, hopes, and concerns about parenthood, as well as how you envision integrating your lives and managing potential challenges. Seeking support from each other, as well as from friends, family, or even professional counseling, can strengthen your foundation as a couple.

It's also advisable to address practical aspects, such as financial planning, co-parenting strategies, and how you both envision balancing the demands of work and family life. Building a strong support system and having a plan in place can contribute to a smoother transition into parenthood.

In conclusion, while your relationship may not conform to traditional expectations, it's evident that you and Jerry share a deep connection and a genuine excitement for the future. As you navigate the complexities of age differences, health considerations, and expanding your family, maintaining open communication, seeking support, and being proactive in addressing challenges will be key to the success of your unique journey. Embrace this next chapter with enthusiasm and a collaborative spirit, and may it bring you both joy, growth, and a deeper connection.

[Nora]

I understand that you're in a unique situation, and it's great to hear that you're excited about the next chapter in your life. It's important to remember that every relationship is different, and age gaps can pose their own challenges and advantages. In this counseling-oriented response, I'll address some of the concerns that have been brought up and provide you with information and guidance to help you navigate this situation.

First and foremost, it's essential to acknowledge that the age difference between you and Jerry is significant. Age gaps can bring about differences in life experiences, perspectives, and goals. It's important to have open and honest communication with Jerry about your expectations, desires, and long-term plans. Make sure you both have a shared understanding of what you want from the relationship and your future together. This will help you determine if you have compatible goals and values.

Another aspect to consider is the fact that Jerry already has children, including some who are close to your age. This can add complexity to your relationship dynamics. It's important to be aware of potential challenges that may arise from blended families and the role you'll play in the lives of his children. Communication and understanding between all parties involved are crucial to building a healthy and harmonious family dynamic.

In terms of Jerry's health issues, it's encouraging to hear that his only known health problems are kidney stones and high blood pressure. However, it's worth noting that these conditions require ongoing management and care. It would be beneficial for both of you to stay informed about his health, support him in maintaining a healthy lifestyle, and encourage regular medical check-ups. Taking an active role in his well-being can help strengthen your bond as a couple.

Now, let's address the topic of your unexpected pregnancy. It's understandable that you're excited about the prospect of becoming a parent. However, it's also important to consider the practical aspects and potential challenges that may come with it. Parenthood is a significant responsibility that requires emotional, financial, and logistical preparation. Take some time to reflect on how this new chapter will impact your life and whether you have the necessary support systems in place.

It's worth mentioning that some of the concerns raised by your friends and others may stem from a place of genuine worry for your well-being. Age gaps and existing family obligations can bring unique challenges, and it's important to approach them with a realistic mindset. While it's important to stay positive and optimistic, it's also crucial to be prepared for potential difficulties that may arise.

In any relationship, it's valuable to have a support network. Reach out to trusted friends, family members, or even professional counselors who can provide guidance and a listening ear. They can offer objective perspectives and help you navigate any challenges that may arise.

Ultimately, the decision to continue with this relationship and embrace parenthood is yours to make. It's important to consider your own needs, desires, and aspirations while also taking into account the well-being of your child. Open and honest communication with Jerry will be key in making informed decisions together and fostering a healthy and supportive environment for your growing family.

Remember that no relationship is perfect, and challenges can arise regardless of age or circumstances. The key is to approach them with understanding, patience, and a willingness to work through them together. With open communication, mutual respect, and a shared commitment to building a loving and supportive family, you can create a fulfilling and meaningful life together.

I wish you all the best as you embark on this exciting new chapter of your life. Remember, you have the strength and resilience to overcome any obstacles that may come your way. Stay positive, seek support when needed, and cherish the journey ahead.