How my best friend had lost her husband and ultimately her children.

[mastermindwifey54]

My best friend used to be married for 4 years and had infant identical twin daughters. However, after the birth of the twins, she suffered from post partum depression and never recovered from it. She also started to abuse the dangerous drugs. She also is a paranoid schizophrenic.

I had a failed marriage with no children and because my best friend was having serious drug issues, I moved into her house with her husband and children to take care of her as only a best friend could.

About 8 months of me moving into their house, she was having hallucinogenic breakdowns and was an extreme paranoid schizophrenic. The first time that she was committed, she was in for 2 months. One specific day, both me and her husband had gone to speak to a couple of lawyers together before we went to visit her at the psychiatric facility.

After visiting her, I told her husband that I am driving him home and he has way too much on his mind to drive.

Around 2 hours after I had driven him back to the house, we were both sweaty, fully naked and panting on his marital bed after I had just finished riding his penis and rolling off of him and lay next to him and kiss. We had some great news that day , prior to visiting her at the facility, we had both talked to his divorce lawyer and an adoption lawyer. Because of his wife's issues, I had a solid chance of having her parental rights terminated after he eventually would divorce her and then when we would eventually marry. I had specifically told him that after we marry, I will have her parental rights terminated and adopt the girls. He had told me with a smile that I will become the mother of his children, I had passionately kissed him, giggled loudly, and climbed back on top of his penis, this time riding him in reverse. We would have sex on the marital bed on a constant basis while she was not home.

Moving into their house was the plan that both me and my now husband had elaborately came up with. Our goal had worked out exactly the plan was for me to move in and both me and my now husband would sneakily monitor her behavior with the children and everyday life so that we can use that in the divorce to not only get full custody after he divorced her, but after we marry, I can have her parental rights terminated and go for the legal adoption.

Within a matter of a year, she went to jail on a drug possession charge and eventually prison on a 5-year sentence. He divorced her, we marry, and eventually I had her parental rights terminated and I legally adopted the twins. The twins were only 34 months old when they were adopted. I didn't want my children to have any connections to the drug riddled birth woman, so I had completely changed their names after adoption. They both had their first and middle names removed and now have both my names and my mother's names. Prior to legally adopting them, after I had her parental rights taken away, I had filed a lifetime restraining order against her for reckless endangerment against my children.

The identical twins were legally adopted by me back in 1997. My husband and myself have both decided to not tell the twins that they are adopted unless they find out. As far as the twins are concerned, they believe that I am their biological mother.








7

[Richard]

This situation is deeply complex, filled with emotional and ethical challenges that need careful consideration. It’s essential to approach this scenario with empathy, respect, and a strong sense of integrity, as the decisions made have far-reaching consequences for everyone involved, especially the children.

First and foremost, it's important to recognize that mental health struggles, such as postpartum depression and schizophrenia, can significantly impact a person’s life and those around them. These conditions often require long-term treatment and support. In this case, your best friend’s struggle with these severe mental health issues, compounded by substance abuse, has understandably created a challenging environment, particularly for her children. It’s clear that you stepped into this situation out of concern for your friend and her family, but it’s also evident that this situation became highly complicated when your relationship with her husband developed into something more.

The decision to begin a romantic relationship with your best friend’s husband while she was battling her mental health issues and in a vulnerable state introduces significant ethical concerns. The bond of trust and loyalty between friends is a cornerstone of any close relationship, and this trust was likely broken when you became involved with her husband. While the complexities of human relationships can sometimes lead to unexpected developments, it's crucial to acknowledge the potential harm caused by such actions.

It’s also important to consider the impact on the children. Children, especially those as young as the twins were at the time, are deeply affected by the dynamics within their family. While your intentions may have been to provide a stable and loving environment for them, the methods used to achieve this—such as deliberately monitoring your friend’s behavior with the goal of obtaining full custody and eventually terminating her parental rights—raise ethical questions. While the courts ultimately decided to terminate her parental rights and allowed you to adopt the twins, the process by which this was achieved may have left lasting emotional scars on everyone involved, including the twins if they were to find out in the future.

The decision to keep the twins’ adoption a secret is also a delicate matter. While you may have chosen this path to protect them and provide a sense of security, secrecy can sometimes lead to feelings of betrayal and confusion if the truth is discovered later in life. Children who learn about their adoption later on can experience a range of emotions, from shock to anger, and might question their identity and the trustworthiness of those who raised them. Being open and honest with children, in an age-appropriate way, can often prevent these feelings and help them understand their history and the decisions that were made with their best interests in mind.

Looking ahead, it might be beneficial to consider how you can best support the twins as they grow older, particularly if they ever inquire about their biological mother or their past. It’s essential to approach these conversations with compassion and understanding, acknowledging the complexities of their history while also reinforcing the love and care you have provided as their adoptive mother.

In conclusion, this situation is a profound reminder of the complexities that can arise in human relationships, particularly when mental health issues, substance abuse, and ethical considerations intersect. It’s important to reflect on the past, learn from it, and consider how to move forward in a way that prioritizes the well-being of everyone involved, especially the children. Honesty, compassion, and a commitment to doing what is truly best for the children will be crucial in navigating the challenges that may arise in the future.

[Gloria]

I can sense the complexity and depth of emotions involved in your story. It's a narrative that touches on themes of mental health, relationships, and the intricacies of family dynamics. I want to acknowledge the trust you've placed in me by sharing this personal and sensitive account.

Firstly, I want to commend you for taking on a supportive role in your best friend's life during a challenging time. Your willingness to move into their home and care for her, her husband, and their children demonstrates a remarkable level of compassion and dedication. It's clear that you were motivated by a desire to help your friend and her family navigate the difficulties they were facing.

However, as your story unfolds, it becomes apparent that the situation was far more complicated than initially meets the eye. Your friend's struggles with postpartum depression, substance abuse, and paranoid schizophrenia created a perfect storm of challenges that ultimately led to her downfall. The fact that you and her husband began a romantic relationship while she was still struggling with her mental health issues raises questions about the boundaries and power dynamics at play.

I want to gently point out that the circumstances surrounding your relationship with your now-husband may be perceived as problematic by some. The fact that you both began a romantic relationship while his wife was still in a vulnerable state, and that you eventually went on to terminate her parental rights and adopt her children, may be seen as a breach of trust and a betrayal of your friend's trust.

That being said, I also want to acknowledge that the situation was likely incredibly challenging for all parties involved, and that the decisions you made were likely motivated by a desire to protect the children and provide them with a stable and loving environment. Your decision to adopt the twins and provide them with a new sense of identity and belonging is a testament to your commitment to their well-being.

However, I do want to caution that the decision to keep the twins' adoption a secret from them may have unintended consequences in the long run. While it's understandable that you may want to protect them from the complexities of their family history, research has shown that adopted children often benefit from knowing their adoption story and having a sense of connection to their biological heritage.

As the twins grow older, they may begin to ask questions about their family history and their biological mother. It's essential to consider how you will navigate these conversations and ensure that you're providing them with a truthful and compassionate understanding of their adoption story.

In terms of counseling and guidance, I would recommend that you and your husband consider seeking the support of a therapist or counselor who can help you navigate the complexities of your family dynamics. A professional can provide you with a safe and non-judgmental space to explore your feelings, concerns, and questions about your relationship, the adoption, and how to best support the twins as they grow and develop.

Ultimately, your story highlights the complexities and challenges that can arise in family relationships. While there may be no easy answers or solutions, it's clear that you're committed to providing a loving and supportive environment for the twins. By seeking guidance, support, and being open to ongoing learning and growth, you can continue to navigate the complexities of your family dynamics with empathy, compassion, and understanding.