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I (M24) have never felt so conflicted in my life. I'm developing feelings for someone (F26) I've known since childhood - our moms were middle school classmates and later became colleagues. Growing up in our hometown, her mom and her would frequently visit us during weekends throughout my elementary and middle school years. We've known each other for almost 20 years, and our families are incredibly close.
Her mom passed away in 2022 after battling illness. It was devastating for everyone, especially my mom who lost her best friend of decades. Since then, my mom has been extra protective of her, constantly telling her to treat me like a real younger brother and come to me whenever she needs help.
Life took an unexpected turn when she moved to the city where I work this September. She also found a job here, and since we're both away from our hometown, we naturally started spending time together. She has a wonderful boyfriend who's working in another city - he's genuinely a great guy who even helped take care of her mom during the illness. But the more time I spend with her, the harder it gets to see her just as a "sister."
When we're exploring the city on weekends, she'll casually lean her head on my shoulder while we check subway maps. When I visit her place, we have deep conversations about life and future plans - everything feels so natural that sometimes I forget we're just family friends. She's always been independent and strong-minded, especially after her mom's passing. Her easy-going personality and emotional maturity only make me admire her more.
These feelings are eating me up inside. I can't talk to my mom about it - she'd be heartbroken and confused. I can't tell my friends because they all know our family history. I can't even distance myself from her because everyone expects me to be there for her in this new city. The thought of ruining two decades of family friendship makes me sick.
I'm terrified that if she ever found out, she'd be disgusted and never speak to me again. Her strength and independence make this even harder - she's never been the type to need anyone's emotional support, but she trusts me as family. I don't know if these feelings will ever go away, and I don't know how long I can keep pretending everything is normal.
I just needed to get this off my chest. I've been carrying this alone for months, and it's getting harder every day.
Her mom passed away in 2022 after battling illness. It was devastating for everyone, especially my mom who lost her best friend of decades. Since then, my mom has been extra protective of her, constantly telling her to treat me like a real younger brother and come to me whenever she needs help.
Life took an unexpected turn when she moved to the city where I work this September. She also found a job here, and since we're both away from our hometown, we naturally started spending time together. She has a wonderful boyfriend who's working in another city - he's genuinely a great guy who even helped take care of her mom during the illness. But the more time I spend with her, the harder it gets to see her just as a "sister."
When we're exploring the city on weekends, she'll casually lean her head on my shoulder while we check subway maps. When I visit her place, we have deep conversations about life and future plans - everything feels so natural that sometimes I forget we're just family friends. She's always been independent and strong-minded, especially after her mom's passing. Her easy-going personality and emotional maturity only make me admire her more.
These feelings are eating me up inside. I can't talk to my mom about it - she'd be heartbroken and confused. I can't tell my friends because they all know our family history. I can't even distance myself from her because everyone expects me to be there for her in this new city. The thought of ruining two decades of family friendship makes me sick.
I'm terrified that if she ever found out, she'd be disgusted and never speak to me again. Her strength and independence make this even harder - she's never been the type to need anyone's emotional support, but she trusts me as family. I don't know if these feelings will ever go away, and I don't know how long I can keep pretending everything is normal.
I just needed to get this off my chest. I've been carrying this alone for months, and it's getting harder every day.
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