What's The Best Approach To Get A Guy To Commit

[Lily]

Ok here goes.

I'm an attractive, intelligent, funny, positive, successful, healthy, funny woman in great shape (I'm sure you hear that a lot!!). I have no trouble attracting men, no trouble flirting, no trouble getting into r/ships & getting men to commit to a certain degree- moving in together, traveling OS together etc. The only thing is I'm 39 and really want a baby ASAP. It's not just a want, but a biological need and a medical reality that I need to start trying now if I want my own family.

I've craved this my entire life & watched others around me settle down & have kids, so you can imagine how hard it is. I get how the 'laws of attraction' theory works, that you need to release the attachment and the desire & see yourself living this life. I've tried everything and have done a lot of work on myself over the years. The problem is, I really struggle to find men who are as emotionally mature as I am, intelligent, independent, who I am also attracted to.

I'm currently exploring becoming a single parent via IVF sperm donor - I'd love some advice on if I was to have one last ditch attempt at dating, what's the best approach to get a guy to commit to having a baby within a short time frame? I can't afford to spend yet another year, getting to know yet another man, to discover that he is not yet ready to have kids?

[Becky]

Great question. You are certain that you want to be a mother, and you're 39. In my opinion, you should not try one last ditch attempt to find a father for your baby. It would taint your dating quite a bit. It would cause you to either lose a good potential relationship, or to decide to postpone your plans because of a relationship. Then you might end up not having the child you want. If you don't date, you can focus a lot more time on preparing for your new upcoming life with a child - if that is what you want.

This is a good time to start seeing people as friends or in groups. That's one nice thing about parenting - you meet a lot of other parents of kids the same age and there's always a birthday party happening or a school event. It's a fun time really. I bet you'll make a GREAT mother.

[Mabel]

Are you wondering what it takes to get a guy to stay loyal to just one woman? For time immemorial, it seems, women have been asking these same questions. Luckily, there are a few tips that can help to make him commit to you.

Step 1: Make Him Wait

While guys might pick the sluttiest girl out there for a one-night stand, they probably aren't going to look for that in a woman he's committed to. The best thing you can do at a beginning of a relationship is to wait before having sex. If you sleep with him on your first date, he's going to wonder if this is a habit of yours. Furthermore, he might be the kind of guy who just wants a fling. If you have sex too soon, the two of you will end up having different ideas about where the relationship is heading. If you wait, any guy who just wants sex will be gone before too long.

Step 2: Be honest.

Don't be afraid to talk to him. If you are ready for a committed relationship, let him know. Guys aren't mind-readers, any more than women are. He will probably appreciate your honesty. And the two of you won't have to worry about differing ideas about where the relationship is going.

Step 3: Don't push!

This is related to step 2. Yes, be honest. But don't push! Don't try to change him, even if all his friends are single and playing the field. Don't give him any ultimatums. The old commit or breakup more often than not ends up in breakup.

Step 4: Be patient.

Just because he isn't ready to commit now doesn't mean he will never commit. Enjoy the relationship as it is now. There is a reason the two of you are together. Keep sharing your interests. So long as you continue to communicate your relationship goals to him (without pushing!), you can still have fun while waiting for him to mature.

These simple tips can help you to enjoy your relationship now and help make any man commit.

[Rob]

To pull the commitment trigger you need to make sure you very carefully and gently push him toward love.

Show him why he would want to commit.
The best way of going about it is to show him why he would want to commit to you. This isn't always easy to do, but it is very important if you want to get the commitment you deserve and if you want to make him fall in love with you. It is a two part goal.

First you need to make sure that you show him that you are a wonderful person to be around and that he wants to spend more time with you. To do this you will want to be fun, flirty, and make sure that he has a good time. Go new places, try new things, and make some amazing memories all while touching his positive emotions.

The second thing you need to do is make sure that you take the time to give him some space. It is the space that he needs to miss you. It is this time that he will realize that he wants more of you in his life and that he is looking for more out of life then what he has gotten. You will want to continue on with your life and keep up with your interests.

Doing these two things will show him why he would want to commit to you. This is the best way to go about moving your relationship forward. It is important that you keep this pace up and that you keep living your life.

Talk.
The next thing you need to do is talk to him. To do this you will want to make sure that you leave emotion behind and that you sit down and share with him how you feel. Make sure that you don't cry, scream, or yell. Just lay it out there and then walk away. He is likely to pick up on it pretty fast.

If you can do these three things you will pull the commitment trigger and make him fall in love. Remember that you need to show him why he would want to commit to you. You will also need to give him space to realize it and you will need to talk to him.

[Lily]

Thank you all for your advice

[Sandra]

How about freezing your eggs, so that you don't have to feel that pressure. Many insurance plans mandate this coverage.

Single women in their 30's should think about egg freezing, so that they don't date like the desperate and crazy maniacs that my friends and I turned into.

It's a new day and a Brave New World, excuse the pun. The ambitious career woman can now date differently...THANK THE LORD!