Scared

[Surya]

I have completed all my studies (Ug & Pg) and working currently with not pretty good salary , i have been in love with my guy for 3 yeas , we know each other for 5 years since our UG college and started to love only 3 years before , we decided to get married and decided to convey our love to parents no matter what happens , we decided to face things and bear all . our only aim is to be together in future work well and have good future and to prove ourselves . Am from a rich background with good status but he is not like that , he is working in leading MNC company as engineer but he has to take care his family and spend for them and work for their well being . And of course he is doing that he works hard , intelligent and dedicated . Its really high time for me to reveal my love to my family as Indian families prefer girls marriage soon . Problem begins , AM SO SO SO SOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARED TO CONVEY BUT I KNOW WELL I HAVE TO TELL SOMEHOW , but the consequences are so bad , because he is from a poor family and also he is not fair , because my family prefer looks A LOT !! , ANYTIME I MIGHT HAVE TO REVEAL AND AM SCARED BECAUSE THEY MIGHT HOUSE ARREST ME ( QUIT MY JOB AND ALSO I HAVE SOME PLANS FOR MY FUTURE JOB TO UNDERGO COURSES ) AM SCARED IF ALL THESE WILL BE SHATTERED . BUT AT THE SAME TIME HE IS IMPORTANT FOR ME AND ALSO MY JOB BECAUSE THEN ONLY WE CAN LEAD A GOOD LIFE. Am so scared to tell , apart from beating me scolding me they will hurt him humiliate him so badly . anyways i have to undergo these but ITS A NIGHTMARE FOR ME but i have to

[Mabel]

Hi Surya,

I know exactly what you are going through at the moment.

I think you should let go of your fears and let the cat out of the bag.

If you don't make bold step, you relationship with your boyfriend won't move to the next level.

So, this is what you should do; first tell you mother about your boyfriend and let her know you both want to get married, she will be able to convince your dad about it.

I know everything will work out well.

Good luck.

[Nate]

Tell your Mom first, she will be in the right position to help you out. I know you can't be scared of you mom too.

[Judith]

Love is a wonderful thing and it can make the world a beautiful place to live in. This is the reason many are looking for love and if you have not found yours yet, then maybe it is time to look outside the box so to speak. Dating someone from a different race is not only exciting, but it opens up a new world for you to discover. Although interracial dating is common today and are widely accepted in the society, one has a long way to in terms of family acceptance especially if one's parent's do not approve of such relationships.

Overcoming Interracial Relationship Problems

Dating someone of a different color is a sensitive topic for some society especially those who strictly follow their culture and tradition. It can also be a big dilemma for one raised under these concepts and questions like "What their parents will think about the relationship?" and "What would others might think about them?" Many who date outside of their own race often have fears that their family will react negatively and would reject the relationship.

There are plenty of reasons for this fear such as incompatibility concerning one's culture, ignorance and even misconceptions. That said if you are worried about how this would affect your relationship with your family, it is best to initiate it first to allay any fears that your parents might have about your relationship. It might be hard at the start, but doing it at the onset would save you some stress and help you enjoy your relationship.

Choosing the Best Way to Talk with your Parents

If you are not living at home, then you can opt to tell your parents about it during holidays or special events. If you think that they would react in a negative way, it is best to do so before your relatives arrive or after the party when the guest have departed. If you do not feel confident enough, you can drop in the news through lunch or over a phone conversation. It might be like a coward's way to do so but it can save you from a lot of pressure and stress.

Be Calm and Prepared

Before you talk with your parents, it is best to be calm and come ready. Being calm will help you think about what you have to say when your parents question you about it. Show your parents that you are matured enough to handle any kind of relationship and are prepared for it. Some family members might react negatively and would start shouting or becoming emotional, by being calm, you will not add to the stressful situation.

If you have supportive family members, it is best to talk to them first so you can explain the situation and ask for their support should the time come when you have to talk to your parents. It is scary, but having someone to support you can boost your morale and confidence.

Do not Judge a Book by its Cover

At the end of the day, you might be surprise when they approve and accept your relationship. Although quite rare, many parents find it necessary to adjust to the situation at hand especially if you live in a different country or place. As dating someone from another race is not often discuss during family dinner or the topic never came up, you will never know what to expect.

[Vivian]

There are actually a few things you can do if you want to get it through your parent's heads that you want to get married and it's for all the right reasons.

3 Steps to Getting Your Parents to Accept You Want to Get Married at a Young Age

#1 Put Yourself in Their Shoes

One of the most important things you can do if you want to convince your parents that getting married at a young age is the best option for you is to put yourself in their shoes. Look at the situation from their perspective. They have this young daughter that they've spent the last two decades raising and now she wants to run off and get married to a guy that she hasn't been dating for a long amount of time. You have to acknowledge that their hesitations and fears are legitimate.

After explaining to them that you understand why they feel the way they do, it's time to explain all of the reasons that you believe getting married young is right for you.

#2 Prove Your Maturity

Obviously, if you've decided "I want to get married", you probably are more mature than most people your age, or at least you should be. Do you consider your boyfriend to have a high level of maturity? If so, one of the best ways to convince your parents that you're capable of getting married young is prove to them how mature you are. This is not something that can be done overnight, but rather something that takes time and effort.

Do things around the house to show that you're a team player. Go out and get a job that shows you are capable of supporting yourself once you're married. Tell your parents different ways that you've matured, as well as how mature your boyfriend is. Once your parents see that the two of you have transformed into mature adults at an early age, they'll be closer to understanding why you want to get married young.

#3 Learn to Compromise

What did you parents respond with when you said, "I want to get married young"? Did they try and make a deal with you? Did they just give you a flat out "No!"? The best thing to do from here, especially if your chances of them letting you get married young looks slim, is to compromise. If they say "No", come back with a deal. "Do you guys think you would be supportive of me getting married a year from now?" Talking with your parents and showing them that you're mature enough to compromise might cause them to become a little more in favor of you getting married young!