She Says 'Stop' When She's Close To Orgasm

[Bradwin]

My problem is that when she is on the verge of orgasm she tells me to stop because the room is spinning and she cant take it she also says that it starts to burn. thanks.!

[Nicolas]

Okay so you know that point where she tells you to stop?

Well that is exactly when you have to keep going to make her have an orgasm... those feelings she is having are an indication that she is about to cum...

The problem is... you cannot keep going if she keeps telling you to stop unless you want an unpleasant visit from her big brother.

The solution is Sexual Trust.

She has got to trust YOU more than she trusts HER SELF when it comes to her sexual response.

When that happens she will sexually surrender herself to you... and instead of tensing up... she will just relax into it and let you do what you do best... now let us talk about the burning sensation a bit... because that is the only part that may call for more caution...


3 possible reasons here...

1... She could have some kind of infection that becomes irritated with friction... in which case a visit to the gynaecologist is in order

2... The friction is drying her out and you need to use some lube

3... It is very common in this situation that she has a mild case of "secondary vaginismus" which basically means that the pain is caused by her feelings of anxiety as she approaches the point where she will lose control and have an orgasm.

This is n not something you can just force her past because that will make it worse and you cannot "talk her out of it"... that will make it worse too.

You have to earn her sexual trust with your confidence... your touch... and your competence.


3 Steps are required...

You need to first demonstrate that you can be patient... then you need to let her know that she can trust you not to hurt her... then you need to show her that you have sexual confidence... most importantly... let her see that you are not put off by the situation... that you are comfortable with WHATEVER comes up for her... your ease and comfort with what happens or what does not happen... will be powerfully contagious... and it will work wonders to unwind her sexual anxiety... let her know that just on the other side of that anxiety is a powerful orgasm and that you are going to be there for her... that you can hold space for her to let whatever happens... happen.

Encourage her to talk about it... and do not push if she does not want to.... demonstrate to her that you have zero neediness around the issue... you are available and not pushing... eventually she will hand the steering wheel to you and surrender.

In a sense... she needs someone confident to give her permission or reassurance to get to the other side.

Keep in touch Bradwin and let me know how things go for you.

[Lily]

In sexual relationship we have a deeper need for trust, more than what we usually need in a friendship. This is because to be sexually intimate with someone we have to show our vulnerability, our naked body, bare our soul and let our guard down.

The reason why people often have one night stands and are less inhibited after a night of drinking alcohol is because the natural inhibitor to trust is being subdued.

In a committed relationship it is important to have explicit discussions about the likes and dislike of both partners to build a trusting sexual relationship. If you haven't yet talked about 'no-go zones' this might be a good time to start mapping them out. Sexual intercourse will be more rewarding and satisfying when the trust is established and you have clarity over what your partner likes and dislikes. Getting to trust a new partner is the process of getting to know each other on an intimate level and feeling safe in showing your vulnerable side.

Like with building trust in general we need time to establish it. Give you partner the time they need and don't rush them into things as this will be counter-productive to your state of trust. In a sexual context we need to allow time and space to discover each other.

Another very important aspect is to honor your partner, to respect them fully and to not overstep any previously discussed 'no-go zones'.

[Bradwin]

Thank you all for you advice. I have been informed of things I never thought of.