Husband Doesn't Go Down On Me but Wants Me to Go Down On Him: Am I being selfish or fair?

[caribbeangirl]

My husband and I have been married for two years. In the past, I used to be very excited to go down on him but that has changed now since he only return it once in a blue moon. When I talk to him and tell him the same way he has needs, I also have needs. He tells me that I'm wrong that he shouldn't have to do it to get it in return. I'm not looking for anything in return but at least make an effort to do the things I like as well. Every time we have sex it's always in one position, if I ask to change up things, he refuses most of the time unless I'm the one that's going to be on top. I love doggy and he rarely ever does it. We never really have foreplay either. Tonight, he told me I'm the only woman that does need a reason to go down, that all women do it for their husbands. Am I being selfish? Or am I wrong for refusing to go down on him regularly because I don't get things that I want in bed?

[Savannah]

You are not being selfish. It should be give and take, not him taking and you giving.

[Rachael]

You aren't selfish, and he's the one being selfish here. He wants it but refuses to realize you want it as well even after letting him know.

[Jerome]

You are absolutely fair! I think he's psychologically manipulating you, and he is doing it intentionally. He's completely unreasonable in this issue.

However, I will advice you go down on him one more time and make it clear to him that you want it in return before doing it. If he doesn't go down on you as well, you can decide to completely stop going down on him altogether.

[Zinok]

This guy sounds like a deadbeat.
Sorry, but it`s true.

I`d honestly suggest marriage counselling. The fact is he blatantly disregards your needs and all the onus of sex is on you to perform, and he can`t even engage in foreplay or take the top position once in a while? Nah. Not cool.
Sex should be a give and take. Personally I`d feel pretty shitty having sex with a man like that, and wouldn't engage in it at all, let alone perform oral sex on him.

[Pink Flamingo]

Your husband is manipulative and arrogant. According to stats most guys LOVE going down on their partners. If my wife had the energy to orgasm all night long while performing oral I would gladly do it. I love to hear her scream, shake and feel her vagina pulsate with joy. Heck I even go down on her during her period. (I know TMI) Many guys love to give than to take and that's they way it is in our marriage. Hope that gives you some perceptive.

[TheDarkOne]

This guy sounds like a deadbeat.
Sorry, but it`s true.

I`d honestly suggest marriage counselling. The fact is he blatantly disregards your needs and all the onus of sex is on you to perform, and he can`t even engage in foreplay or take the top position once in a while? Nah. Not cool.
Sex should be a give and take. Personally I`d feel pretty shitty having sex with a man like that, and wouldn't engage in it at all, let alone perform oral sex on him.

Spot on.... This is going to only get worse. You are already unsatisfied now.

[Banshee]

Nope, not selfish. Real men go down on their women. Check out the book "She Comes First," read it, and give it to him. It's on Amazon. If you are clean and healthy, there should be no problem. Good luck!

[Myuniversewithin]

Hi.. my case is different. I love to go down and my wife does not like to. I love to give her pleasure entire night which she enjoys a lot and tells she is in heaven whenever I use my tongue.

But she does not like to suck my dick. She has some block with it and I am ok. I eagerly waiting for a day where she loves to suck my dick.

To add salt to it, by accident she ended up doing foreplay with a guy (who is my friend whom she fantasised a lot).. she ended up sucking him with passion. I was bit jealous with her going down with him with full passion but does not like to go down with me. By the way, it was her first encounter with other guy. Craving with that guy builded up in last few weeks and it happened one day when situation arised. I keep talking about that incident and she playing with his tool

[speaker145]

Your husband is the one that is selfish. Sex is about both of you and he should be eager to please you as you are to please him. I am surprised that you ddn't see this selfish side of him before you were married because it would have been a red flag. You are married to a man who only cares about himself. Unfortunately, that selfishness will show itself in all aspects of the marriage and not just the bedroom if it hasn't already.