Parents Should Listen To Their Children to Avoid Sexual Abuse

[Scot]

You know, parents usually don't be such understanding, they even don't talk to their children about good touch and bad touch.. and these things are usually do close family member only so that poor child can't complaint to anyone because of fear and aggressive reaction of parents.. because most parents say "this is not possible, he is so good man or he is so caring bout u n all" so child get more and more torture by that devil.. best way to avoid this is to teach children how to say "STOP" and shout loudly " DON'T TOUCH ME ANYMORE" because these devils are kind of fearful in nature so when victim say stop or don't then they usually stop harassing that child. You can ask any victim they have better experience of this.. so please listen to your child and keep eye on your every close ones. and be safe

[Rachael]

Many parents specially muslim ones, would totally hide it and would be more worried about whether they be able to get there daughter married off. They will care less about justice and supporting the girl but muslim parents will start asking question how the girl allowed it to happen rather than why the man did this.

[Jerome]

Thus can't teach them that at a really young age, then they'll get paranoid and they wouldn't even want to sleep alone when they grow up..

[Kate]

I agree but sometimes it's not that simple. Predators like that manipulate children and even threaten them if they tell or fight back.

[Nate]

Let's face it. Although we as a parents remember how difficult it was talking to our parents when we were between the ages of 10-14, now that we have children of our own we have forgotten this. As youth we had many questions that we would have liked to ask our parents about but for a variety of reasons chose not to. Instead we got our advice from the foremost experts on the planet our friends. Unless we are proactive rest assured that our pre-teens are doing the exact same thing today. If you are comfortable with being ignorant about some of the issues pre-teens want our advice about but don't ask then this article is not for you. However for the rest of you continue on as what follows are three questions that teenagers would like to ask their parents but don't with answers approved as helpful from pre-teens themselves.

Question One:

I love my mom but can't talk to her. I'm older now and I'm having issues with my dad. Is this normal and how can I change it for the better?

Answer:

First, as it relates to your mom, it is quite normal for young people 10-14 to have difficulty talking to their parents. There are many reasons for this but the top three are:

1. Many parents find it very difficult to communicate with their children because they have a difficult time letting their children grow up.
2. Parents often believe that if their children are asking about something that means that they must be ready to do something.
3. Parents often raise their children the way they were raised. Unfortunately this is not always great.

To change this communication gap with your mother for the better, keep in mind what I said above about the three reasons parents have difficulty communicating with you. Then tell your mom you have something you want to talk to her about. Let her know you want her advice and information only and that nothing has happened for her to get upset about. (Unless something has happened that she has a reason to get upset about). Tell her what you have to say.

She may either get quiet or tell you she needs to think about what you said, or she may start talking immediately. Whatever she does, realize that at this point she is processing what you said. A lot of people need to talk while they are thinking. So if she starts immediately talking, this is probably what she is doing. Either way, after you have said your piece and she has said a bit of hers, ask her if you both can finish the conversation later on that day or the next. I guarantee when you complete the conversation, the two of you will actually be able to talk. This does not mean that she will agree with what it is you might be requesting, but it does mean that the door of communication between the both of you will be open for days and years to come.

The issues with your dad present a different type of situation. If the issues involve strictly communication type issues, then these can be handled the same way that I mentioned above with your mother. But if the issues with your Dad involve conduct by him which is inappropriate and cause you to feel uncomfortable in any way (physical, emotional, or sexual abuse), then the authorities should be contacted immediately if you do not feel comfortable sharing this with your mother.

Question Two:

How come teenagers don't really take in what their parents tell them?

Answer:

People only take in information that they believe will help them. Generally, people only listen to those people that they think know more than they do. Why would anyone listen to someone they believe knows less than them? For a variety of reasons teenagers tend to think that they know more than their parents. This is strange given that teenagers are much younger than their parents and are experiencing for the first time what their parents have probably experienced many times before.

I have been told by other teenagers that they don't believe what their parents say because they believe that life for them is different today than it was when their parents were teenagers. There may be some validity in this belief. However, your parents still know more about life in general than you do because they have lived longer than you.

Question Three:

Why do some parents find it difficult telling their kids that they love them?

Answer:

There are several reasons for this. One of them is that it is common for parents to raise their children the same way they were raised. So a parent who grew up never having their own parents tell them that they loved them will treat their children-you-the same way they were treated when they were kids. It's like the phrase which says, "You can't give what you never had!"