Boyfriend problems...

[Alesseuser90]

About 20 days ago I started taking birth control at the request of my boyfriend who for some reason is pregnant phobic. Turns out he won’t have sex with me on them either. I even wore my sexy fishnet stockings last night because usually that’s an instant turn on for him...still nothing.

I have a feeling that this relationship isn’t going to last...I have wants, needs and desires he just isn’t even trying to do his best to fulfill. I miss my marriage and that’s something I thought I’d never ever say! Am I expecting too much? Once a week? When I’m done this pack I’m not taking any more of them.

[bunnyhabit]

what about condoms? there is no 100% protection from pregnancy but double protection approaches 99%.

sex is a key ingredient to any successful relationship, so you aren't expecting too much. seems you need to consider a new partner that is more compatible with you or a friend with benefits if you can't let go of this guy.

[Michael]

He doesn't want sex. She's trying everything she possibly can to get him in the mood, but nothing seems to make a bit of a difference. Is there any hope for a situation like this?

When a woman speaks to me about her boyfriend and tells me that he doesn't want sex, I know that one of the biggest concerns in her mind is if she's going to spend the rest of her life without ever making love again.

Some people advise women in sexless relationships to just get a divorce or have an affair. But that's very misguided and callous advice. First of all, most women in sexless relationships aren't interested in a divorce. They love their boyfriends, but they're hurt and frustrated by his disinterest in intimacy. Instead of looking for a way to end the relationship, they're seeking a solution to come closer and have the kind of relationship they're dreaming of... with the man they love and are already married to.

And having an affair isn't the answer to a sexless relationship either. If you're a woman in a sexless relationship, you know that it's not just sex that you're after-- you want to make love with your boyfriend. Finding someone else to have sex with won't help you to feel the affection of the person you love the most. So besides the morality issue, having an affair simply won't give you what you want or need.

But the good news is that you can bring back the love and passion to your relationship. Getting your boyfriend to want to make love again is something that you can do completely on your own-- which is a pretty good thing, considering that most boyfriends who don't want to have sex with their wives insist that nothing is wrong.

Fixing your sexless relationship is something you-- yes, you!-- can start doing right away, but the first step is making sure you have a clear understanding of how your relationship got this way to begin with, and what steps you need to take to bring back the passion to your relationship.

[Sofia]

Your first reaction when your boyfriend won't have sex with you may be to assume that his lack of interest in you is directly related to the fact that he's become intimate with another woman. This is rarely the case. The problem typically stems from some other issue that is at work within the relationship.

A great example of how the dynamic of the relationship affects the frequency of sex involves conflict. If you and your boyfriend have been butting heads over a specific issue, that issue may actually be the problem with your sex life. Much like women, men tend to hold many of their emotions inside. If you and your boyfriend have been arguing about something related to your children, work or finances, it can actually carry over to the bedroom. He may feel slighted by you or may feel less close emotionally to you because of the conflict. If this is going on in your relationship do all you can to help solve the problem and smooth things.

Body image is another issue that we almost always associate with women. Men want to look great too and if your boyfriend has put on some weight, he may feel self conscious about making love. When your boyfriend won't have sex with you consider how he feels about himself. If he is constantly remarking on his need to lose weight or he has suggested the idea that he should be working out more, encourage that. A fantastic way for a couple to bond is to work on a healthier lifestyle together. You two can plan meals, cook together and even work out together. It will help to reestablish closeness.

[bunnyhabit]

she clearly said he does want sex with her because he is afraid she will get pregnant. no mention of lack of love, children, work, finance or body image problems.

need to define actual causes before deriving a solution to real problems not assumed problems.